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Today’s guest is Ash The Can Man.

We go deep today talking about:

  • How Ash acted out his insecurities and inadequacies after his father left his family before he was born
  • How Ash’s step father stepped in and became the man who taught Ash how to be a man
  • Breaking the cycle of fatherlessness and becoming a great dad
  • Letting go of victim mentality
  • Taking ownership of your life
  • Positivity as part of your morning routine
  • Ash’s long-term vision that motivates him during the hard times, including his desire to support his mother in retirement
  • Forgiving your father and letting go of the past pain
  • Prioritizing fitness as a busy dad

Ashley is a mental health ambassador, he shares his journey battling with mental health on a daily basis however uses this fuel to drive himself and others towards success.

Ashley has spoken with premier league rugby clubs about mental wellness by sharing his story battling suicidal thoughts and crippling anxieties. He now uses his story to show and inspire others that you can achieve greatness despite your past or upbringing. He now works with men and women to assist them in achieving their dream body and mindset through fitness.

Find Ash online at:

Www.ashthecanman.co.uk

Instagram: @ashthecanman

TikTok: @ashthecanman

Unknown Speaker 0:00

If you are the foundation of your family, you are the firm footing. They build their lives on. You carry a glorious burden and you never dream of laying it down. You carry it with joy and gratitude. You show up, even when you don't feel like it. You lead, serve, love and protect. You are a father. This is the dead word podcast where men are forged into elite husbands and fathers by learning what it takes to become harder to kill, easier to love and equipped to lead. Get ready to start building the only legacy that truly matters. Your family.

Curt Storring 0:59

Hey, everyone, welcome to another episode of the data world podcast. This is your host, Curt Storring. And I'm excited to have ash the can man join me. We connected on Instagram and just scrolling through as soon as I see somebody who is absolutely jacked. I have immediate respect for them because I know how hard that is on my own journey. Right now. I'm down to the bottom of the cut. And man has been hard. It has been very difficult so to see ash and the dedication that he has put into his fitness journey and realize the dedication he's put into his fatherhood journey, especially coming from not having grown up with a father was really inspiring. So I asked him to come on the podcast, and it was actually it was really great. You guys will get a lot of this. It's very inspiring. It's a lot of lessons here. As I go day to day talking about how he acted out his insecurities and inadequacies after his father left his family before he was born, how ashes stepfather actually stepped in and became the man who taught him how to be a real man, breaking the cycle of fatherlessness and becoming a great dad, letting go of victim mentality, taking ownership of your life positivity as part of your morning routine as his long term vision that motivates him during the hard times including his desire to support his mother in retirement, forgiving your father and letting go the past and prioritizing fitness as a busy dad. Ashley is a mental health ambassador. He shares his journey battling with mental health on a daily basis, however, uses this fuel to drive himself and others towards success. Ashley has spoken with Premier League rugby clubs about mental wellness by sharing his story battling suicidal thoughts and crippling anxieties. He now uses his story to show and inspire others you can achieve greatness despite your past or upbringing. He now works with men and women to assist them in achieving their dream body and mindset through fitness. You can find them online ash the can man.co.uk or an Instagram ash the Candyman same on Tiktok ash the can man. Alright guys, we're gonna get into this. And I really hope you enjoyed this. If you haven't joined the downward podcast would you take just 30 seconds. Today I've asked you a number of times if you've been listening to this, if you have not done it, please just scroll down and leave a rating. If you want to leave a review just leave a rating. But if you do want to help this get in the ears of more dads who need it so that we can help change the literal future of the world. By having strong dads who raise strong families whose children grew up to raise strong families. Why don't you leave a quick review and just let other men know what you think about this podcast. This is one of the best ways to get the show higher on the charts so that more men can find it. Because guys, I am just seeing the benefits of this. I got a review this morning from a man who listens and man I just want to thank you if you're listening right now for leaving this review, it said that he never leaves reviews. But he decided to this time and it was just amazing. Dr. Seuss on Apple podcasts said he never wrote a review in his life, but have been so amazed with this podcast he decided to a few months ago he's searching for a podcast to better himself as a father and a husband came across several tried a few he was hesitant to try this one because it didn't have as many reviews as some popular ones. Hey, guys see, they actually matter these reviews matter. Here you go, a reviewer telling me that reviews matter. So please. And here we go. He says I found myself coming back to this one over and over again. What amazing content. Thank you, Kurt and all of your hard work with this movement. One of the best podcasts I've ever listened to hands down man that literally one of the greatest things to wake up to in the morning. First thing I see in my inbox is there's a review. I gotta look and man your encouragement has just touched me so much. And guys, the only reason I share that, not because of me. It's mostly because he's amazing guests. And guys, I just I want you to know how important leaving a review is because this could change a man's life by leaving a review and getting them to trust an episode or two just to hear what it's all about. You could literally change a man's life and his family's life with that. And that's why we do this work. Alright guys, here's the episode with ash the can man Hope you enjoy. Here we go. All right, that's back here for another episode of The dad work podcast. And I'm excited to have ash the cameraman with me today. And man, I just heard about the story as to why they call you that. But I want to start on a more interesting note perhaps even which is you and fatherhood dude. So first of all, thanks for showing up. Thank you for being here. And just so everyone knows, go check him out on Instagram, which you can find the show notes is his link because he's jacked, and his dad and he's an author Some Jack dads. So guys, we're gonna have fun today, Ash, welcome to the show my friend.

Ash The Can Man 5:03

Thank you very much. It's a pleasure to be here, you know, but a big fan of that work. Cadet Booker, you post amazing stuff. It's a true pleasure to be on your show. Thank you very much.

Curt Storring 5:12

Oh, yeah, thanks, man. I love hearing for people who have been fans for a while. I don't mean fans is weird. I don't like that word, actually, who've been following along in the journey for a while. Because it reminds me that this actually impacts real people. And sometimes when I'm like, behind the screen, I'm going like, Okay, I've got this amount of followers, this amount of people listen. And it can be hard to realize that those are human beings with families behind it. And it's crazy, man. So maybe, actually, I'm interested what, what do you like about the page? Like, what is it that's inspiring to you? Because I want to tap into that. And I don't ask enough guys. So I really don't want this to be self serving at all for me. But is there anything that you want to see more of anything that really spoke to you and your fatherhood journey?

Ash The Can Man 5:54

My favorite thing about your page is that it's raw advice. You know, it's to the point, it hits men to the core, the core of your system, really. And some of the advice I'm not going to like, sometimes it's hard to swallow. Sometimes you post things that I'm saying, you know, I felt that maybe I need to step up, maybe I need to improve as a dad, maybe I need to be a bit more patient, my children, maybe I need to stop prioritizing my career over my children and their future, inevitably. Because that's probably what I'm doing sometimes when I'm putting my job and other things before that. So I just love your content. I love how real you are. I also love how you you speak about your journey as a father. And you call out farmers who, who aren't doing a good job. So most of all, yeah, I gotta take my hat off to that.

Curt Storring 6:37

Oh, man, well, thank you for that. I really appreciate that. Because it's it's hard sometimes to sit in this echo chamber going like, well, this worked for me, I hope it works for someone else, man. Because that's what this is all about. And I'm just like trying to give hope, because I'm sure you've heard like my story, I just when you're suicidal, at some point thinking you're literally the worst part of your children's lives. To come from that. And to just like, feel nothing like that anymore. All I want to do is help guys feel like they can do better. But that also means you have to have a high standard. And from the sounds of it, you you also have a high standard, just in terms of like discipline and getting things done and parenting and stuff like that. And so I'm curious if you can maybe share some of your fatherhood journey. And I wonder if that starts from from your own father. And this is a story man that I really interested in, because so few guys, when they experienced what you experienced, just as a child basically end up being really good, solid dads. So I'm curious what your story is, and why and how you're able to show up so well now as a father.

Ash The Can Man 7:39

So my story also will take you back from the beginning, really. I'm from London, if people can't tell by the accent. I was born to a single mother, I grew up. I grew up in a hood. I grew up in a place called Brixton, in London, I guess you guys probably call it the projects. Is that correct? Okay. Like,

Curt Storring 7:56

you know what, man, I'm in Canada. So I don't even know if we got projects. But again, or something like that. Yeah.

Ash The Can Man 8:03

So I was born to a single mother, my father, well, it's a loose word. I don't really call my father. I guess he was more of a sperm donor. Obviously, impregnate my mother, when she was six months pregnant, he walked out, he walked out the family home, he never came back. She used to contact him and say, you know, your son's born? Do you want to see your son? Your son's walking in some scrolling? Do you have any interest? You want to see him? Do you want to invest in his life at all, he would never ever get back to her, he would never ever come around to see me. He just basically treated me as if I was dead. A few years went on. And people would ask him, you know, how many children have you got? And he would always he'd always miss me out. So let's say for example, he's got six children, I've got five who've never ever include me. And that grew up sort of have a bit of a feeling of why why doesn't this man want me, you know, I was not a bad kid. Not a not star, not a star, at least anyway. And I could see on a day to day basis how much my mom struggled with with me and my two other siblings. And it made me develop a resentment. So this man, because I thought, you've left my mom with free children. He took everything by the way, he took the car, he left us with no money, he lives of literally nothing. And I thought this person has created is created me and he's got no sort of attachment, you know, he just could completely detach himself from me and not feel any sort of any sort of, you know, feeling to come back to see how I'm doing at least or to see if I'm eating to see if I've got food or to see if I can put clothes on my back or anything like that. So I grew up towards to my teenage years, actually, like the kid who didn't grow up with their father in their life. I was, you know, trying to act like the Metro man all the time. You know, if someone said something to me, I didn't like I'm like, What are you talking to? And I always want to try and assert my dominance or my masculinity. I really deep down that was a sign of my insecurities, because deep down I always felt like I was somewhat inadequate. I'd say that cuz I thought, if I was really this good of a person, and this man wouldn't have walked out on me, he would have been there to see me to see me grow up. And fortunately, when I got to about 10 years old, my mom married my stepdad, who's an amazing man. And at first, there was massive issues between us both because I've come from being brought up of just a mother, to now this man coming into our lives, and him trying to discipline me. And he was a bit of a disciplinarian, you know, he's, he's Jamaican. So he was always, you know, saying, You can't do this, you can't do that. And I was thinking, well, who are you, you're not my dad, you can't tell me anything. And he taught me on a day to day basis, how to be a man, but how to maintain and manage your emotions, you know, to be a man isn't to go out there and to want to fight people all the time, it's the been, it's been a short and assertive and being confident within yourself that you don't really need to go out and do that, you know, confidence is quiet. It's not, it's not loud. So a few has moved on past that, you know, he raised me amazingly, you know, I take my hat off to him completely. And I was 21 years old. And I had my first daughter, my six year old named Zara. And the same issues that I had, as a child, just repeat themselves, I was the exact same person as I was when I was a kid. And I wasn't ready to be a five, I completely be completely honest. And the same sort of poison and toxicity that my biological father left with me. I then started to be like, I started to act in a certain way that wasn't right for my daughter. And I guess I sort of created a defense mechanism. And I thought, Is there a chance that my daughter is going to, you know, think I'm like, my father. And then I started to act in a different way I started to probably not be the the ideal father. And, you know, it was it was tough, because it put a massive strain on my previous relationship. And it took a long time for me to realize and mature and see that I was actually acting like, someone I shouldn't be. So you know, looking at pages like yourself, and speaking to people are my stepdad. And to really sit down and look at myself and think this isn't the person I want to be, you know, I'm this person who is exactly the person who I said, I wouldn't be exactly a person who said that, I wouldn't walk out on my child, I wouldn't, you know, be unsupportive of my children. And that relationship went sort of toxic, and I had to really, really pull myself back and say, Ashley, you're being like your father, this ain't the way forward. And I decided to make more of an effort with my child. It was hard at first, we've got a better relationship now. And then a few years down the line, I've now got my 17 month old, who is like, I learned all the mistakes of my first child, and with my second child, I am everything with her, you know, I fully support her with her to the end. She's the apple of my eye. And she's like the highlight of my day, every single day. So that was a bit long, but that's where I'm at.

Curt Storring 12:58

No, that's great. Man, I really appreciate you going into that, because there's so much in there that most guys don't come out of. And even though you sort of took the ownership of like, yeah, I didn't show up well, for the first one. And I was being like my dad, or my biological father, let's call them like you got out of that, though. And you decided to make a change rather than running from it. And so like, I'm kind of curious about those steps in between the stepdad ends up being a great influence, disciplinarian showing you how to be a man every single day. And then you have a kid at 21. And it's like, man, you're repeating the patterns. But then you break the cycle again. So I feel like there's this repeating pattern of cycle breaking and catching yourself. And maybe it's a little bit too late from what you prefer. But it's like, maybe it's getting faster and faster. How have you been able to like cycle back and not just get lost in your head of going? I'm done. Like, this is not me, I'm going to be a badass whatever, I'm Alpha, I'm on by myself. You're like, No, man, I gotta get back there for my kids. What is that like mental framework like for you not to just check out?

Ash The Can Man 14:04

Do you know when the switch flipped in my head, I'm from London, I see a lot of people that grow up, love children, I grew up in fatherless homes. And there are kids these days who are really, really, really lost, you know, that, you know, they've been raised by social media, they've been raised by what the world tells them to believe. They're confused that they're jacked up kids to put it frankly. And I sat down I thought, if I continue X and how I am, my daughter hasn't got a hope in hell. Because this world is, you know, sort of changing children into a way that they're changing, sort of changing children's beliefs and, you know, their, their confidence and you know, what they aspire to be when they're older and all those sorts of things. And I thought if I'm not there to show her that certain things, you see the world isn't right. Then she hasn't got hope in life. And I seriously sat down and thought about something one day when I said, I don't want to be just like my father. And my mum. It took my mom Want to sit me down and she was saying you've got your father's treats, and that her apt to really sit down and you know, wow, have a glass of water and say, You know what, that that is true. And that really hurt me to the core. And I said, I can't be anything like this man, you know, so I'm just going to, it's going to suck to be a father, sometimes let's just be honest, it's going to be, it's going to suck sometimes when things are hard, you know, your, your children are ill and you have to go to work still, and you've gone to work with one hour sleep. It's like, go get used to it got to toughen up. And I was always that emotional guy of, you know, life's hard. I'm going to take it on everyone else. And I had that victim mentality. And that same mentality of what I've got greatness, because I don't want my daughter to grow up anything like how I was as a child. And if I could get back into her life, and you know, try and steer her in the right direction by being that male role model that she needs in a world that's pretty last. That was enough to for me to back up my ideas and get back in our life really?

Curt Storring 15:59

Oh, man. Well, excellent work, by the way, like that's that I can't even imagine after the pain of what you described with your your biological father and then to be compared to him. That must have been enraging. Like what what were some of those things that you just sort of like hear it? You're like, Yes, I know, Mom, I know that. And thanks for telling me now I'm gonna like do something about it, or was it like, I am not my father? Did you like kick back against that? What was that emotional conversation? Like, it's a

Ash The Can Man 16:26

bit of a soft spot. So at first, like I said, I used to be an emotional, I wouldn't say motion, I spoke the wrong word. I was a reactive teenager. And that same reactive teenager, spirit sort of came back out of me. And I was like, I'm nothing like this man. How can you say that? And it's really took some time for me to sit down. And I compared some of the things he does, and I was comparing it to what I do. And I went back to it, and I said, You know what, I get what you're saying, I need to be a better man, I need to be a better father. I need to instill some sort of love into this child, I need to be there to support this child, because time is fast. And in 16 years time, she'll turn around to me and say, where are you? And I can't say, oh, well, you know, life was hard for me. So I took out on you. So that's not an excuse. It's not an excuse.

Curt Storring 17:09

Man, that that is, that's one of the best ways I've ever heard that. But like, like, oh, life is hard. And I took it out on you like, wow, that is a reality. That's the raw, real talk that I like, or just hits you like you said earlier to the core man like that, owning up to that. If you walk away from that, like, Dude, you're not going to make it if you see that and you do nothing about it, you're not going to make it and to hear that. Hear that you did something about it. I hope X is inspiration for dads listening to this wherever they are. If there's something you need to do, to face up to reality to take ownership because do this story so far has been one of ownership and difficult ownership, not just like, Okay, I'm now the man. It's like, shit, what do I do? And I'm the only one who's gonna be able to do it. So this victim to Victor mentality seems to be shining through and where did like, is there something else to that man? Is that just like realizing the consequences of what you've already gone into? Or was there more like, I know, I know that you're a fan of Goggins. I'm a fan of Goggins. But like, What else was there? How was how have you seen this mentality switch from victim to Victor? Or from you know, can't do anything about it, everything else is everyone else's fault, to Oh, it's all on me. Now.

Ash The Can Man 18:26

Something clicked with me? That's a really good question, actually. Because I was asking myself that earlier, because it wasn't something like that. Just a switch flicked overnight. I just remembered, I was going through life and the way of living things was different, I'd have quite a pessimistic, pessimistic view on things in life. And, you know, if someone said, some, it's harder, but I want us to, I'm not going to do it. Whereas now someone's saying is hard. I might, well, it's fine. I'm gonna work twice as hard. It's hard for you, but it's not gonna be hard for me. And if it is, that's fine. This life is not supposed to be easy. And reading like David Goggins books, and listen to people at David Goggins, who have been through similar situations, you know, he went through hell with his dad, who's used it as passion and fire to, you know, go through life and take no crap from anyone really. And just to not be a victim of life. You know, for far too long. I was a victim. For too long, I just allow life to tell me are you fully anxious, so you should stay at home today, you shouldn't go and mix with people in the world. You should, you should stay at home be this introverted kids, like you used to always be. Because no one out there is going to like you, everyone's gonna think you're weird. And my mind was telling me all sorts of things as a kid growing up, and I've listened. So sometimes I'd be that kid who would stay inside and play video games for hours on end, because I'd think people are gonna think I'm strange. Whereas now my whole outlook changed. And I'm like, I'm just going to attack life. I'm going to be myself. I'm not going to try to appease other people. And life's hard work, get used to it, you know, swallow it, get used to it. No, no one's coming to save you. You your own self and is no one else has come to save you. No one else can do anything for you in life. If it's just you, and once you get there, then you realize that this life's short, no one's coming to save you. You need to cut them, do it yourself. And people count on you, if people are counting on you can't let them down no matter what happens, you have to fight on haffley.

Curt Storring 20:14

Yeah, man. And you know what the paradox of that is that when you realize nobody's coming to save you, you can actually start letting people in intentionally. That's what I've experienced, at least, because like I was the lone wolf for the longest time. And I also knew that nobody was coming to save me. But when I really got clear on that, and when I really like grieved, the loss of what I wanted in life as a child, like when I let go with my childish ways, actually allowed me to let people in more, because I was like, Look, you're not here to save me. But it's okay, if you're here to support me. And that was like a life changing thing for me. And I've heard through this story, the fact that like, another good man, maybe like changed your entire life with your stepfather. And in my life, like my grandfather has been a massive mentor. And being in men's groups has been a massive mentor. Have you been around other men that have inspired you like this, to draw you out of that way? And just like, set you on the straight and narrow? Or was it almost all up to your stepdad.

Ash The Can Man 21:13

I will say it was my step that has to take order to credit, he has to take at least 90% of the credit, because as I said earlier, I was a horrible, horrible kid. I was expelled from school. I was lucky to get myself in trouble with the law, fortunately. But I was just a kid that no one really wants to be around. Artists always angry. I was always miserable, moody. And you know, people were like, What mood is actually in today. And it took him to a really, he was patient, oh, my God, He was patient, he put up with my mood swings. And you know, me being horrible to him. And just being a general, toxic teenager, really for years upon years upon years. But every single time we had those chats, and he'd be telling me you know, you need to be in control of your emotion, you know, to be a man is to manage your emotion. And I would just say, You know what, you're talking nonsense. And I would ignore him. But it was like subliminally, everything he was saying was being deposited in my head. I think got today's got today's we're about 1819. And everything has changed for me. And I just remember everything he used to say to me as a kid, I started to live it. And I was like, this is true. Like what you hang around and what you listen to is what you become. And he used to always tell me positive things. And I'd always black are, yeah, whatever, man. But without me realizing that this, this was being saved into my brain. And when I got older, all of it was coming out into reality. So he gets the majority of the credit for sure. Definitely.

Curt Storring 22:37

Well, and that's such a good lesson, man, even for us and our kids. Like I have a hard time sometimes harping on the negative, you know, I want to I want to build them up by correcting their mistakes, when really I should be building them up by stressing positives. And so I think this is a great lesson that, you know, regardless of what you think they're taking from it, they could do what you did and be like, yeah, yeah, whatever, man. And then a couple years later, they're like, oh, man, thank God, I have so much amazing ammunition that my dad prepared me for, or prepared me with. Exactly. And then they go on and just like, live it. That's such a blessing. But this intentional thought thing, like, you have this talk with your mom. And you're sort of thinking about this, you're going back, you're looking through your life. And you're like, Yeah, okay, like I can own some of this. What like, where did that come from? Because not many, again, not many guys coming from your situation would be like, Let me think about this, it probably just like reactivity, go do some more stuff to numb the pain. But what sort of intentional thought patterns and processes? Either were you introduced to? Or? Or what are you do today to make sure that this is a thing that constantly happen? Because it seems like it probably changed your life is this is this a big part of your life today, too.

Ash The Can Man 23:47

It's a big part of my life. And the reason why I learned, you know, my traits and who I am as a person is, I would go through tough times before I was younger, and I'd say oh, you know what, I'm going to meet with some of my friends, we're gonna go to a nightclub, and we're just gonna get drunk, and we're just gonna forget about absolutely everything. And I think that was the answer. And you'd wake up in the morning, and, and I'd be like, this is now double the problem. I'm now I've now not addressed this issue. You've made it bigger. And on top of that, I'm now hungover. Now this isn't gonna go well, is it? And it really took for me to realize that. Like I said, like I said earlier in the podcast, no one's coming to save you Do you know the reality and all of responsibility is on me. So I got to I got to the stage where I stopped blaming other people. I stopped. I used to have this fingers younger, where I would do certain things. And I'd say to people, oh, well, you know, I got in trouble in school. And I'd say I suppose because my dad's not in my life, or I just hope we could have met my biological dad was dead and that's why I act how I acted how I did. All through my childhood, I found an excuse for everything. I found excuse for all my behaviors. And it took my mom to sit me down on that day and said You are acting exactly like your father. And that was the first They are fully fully accepted responsibility for how I was acting and my behaviors. And that was the day I think when a lot of things did change. I stopped blaming other people. Like up till now I won't blame anyone for anything if something goes wrong in life, it's my fault. What do I gain from blaming someone else? It's still happened. I still have to try and fix it. So I can try and move on and fix it. I can sit and blame people. What do I pick? I try and fix it. So that's that's my attitude. Really. I'm just uh, I just tried to be a solution focused man. I tried to not just think about problems, my problems been problems, I addressed the problem. What's the solution? And I get it done.

Curt Storring 25:35

Yes, man. That's a that's a solution for life too. And like action is the antidote to average. Like, honestly, every time I have like overthought things, every time I've tried to blame things, every time I've tried to, like shirk responsibility. It's like, no, actually, if you do the opposite of that, if you take the the blame, or even the responsibility, if you don't take the blame, take the responsibility, man. Like that's, that is the winning formula. And then take more like, dude, the last few months, I have done so much more like we're homeschooling. We just moved. My wife's pregnant again and reworking your business. Oh, thanks, man. Like, I'm hard in my fitness journey, like I was telling you before. I'm just doing more like I'm doing. I've never done so many dishes. Laundry so much, right? And actually, I am better now than I ever have. And I can do even more, because I'm doing more. Yeah. And that's been incredible. And it's also had me thinking about, like, the power that a sit down conversation might be able to have with my kids one day, because I almost wish someone sat me down and was like, Yo, dude, what are you doing? But but that sounds like a gift that maybe we can consider giving to our children if we need to. But again, hopefully, they won't have to go through that because we're now showing up as elite men husband and father because we're doing this work exactly what I'm like. So I know mental health. And actually, one of the things in your bio on Instagram is exercise is my antidepressant. And I love that man, because I have experienced that too. But let's maybe have a quick look at mental health and just feeling great. So that you can support this mindset. Because when you're always taking responsibility, it can get heavy man, like you take a lot of stuff on your plate, what are some of the things that you are doing on like a day to day or a week to week basis, to strengthen your mind so that you can continue to hold all of this weight,

Ash The Can Man 27:19

such as strength, for my mind, some of the things I do, I try to attend to normally wake up about five or six o'clock in the morning, because that's the best time for me, you know, as quiet as no distractions. And that's when I tried to get my first half an hour in a reading. And I always tried to read something positive, because you know, I think Les Brown said that your brain operates at 10.8 Wave cycles per second when you first wake up. So that's when your subconscious mind is most impressionable. That's when you're most vulnerable to if you receive that negative text message, it will definitely consume you and take over your day. And by 11 o'clock, you'll be like, Why do I feel so negative still is because you've started your day, negatively. So my advice always is to start your day positively. Regardless of how busy you are, and how busy your bet your day is, you know, even if you listen to a podcast or you just read something motivational, you'd be surprised for the rest of the day. You're like, yeah, I've got I've got a bit of a bounce in my step. You know, things are going bad, but I can just brush it off. You know, just take a take a lickin and keep on ticking as I say. Another thing I do I exercise every single day, people say is obsession. I describe it as obsession is the word that the laser used to describe a dedicated, that's why I always say I love that. People always say, uh, people have people in my family say oh, you're obsessed and I'd say, Okay, I'm obsessed. That's fine. But when I was obsessed with drinking and ruining my life on a day to day basis, no one had an issue that people would use us to say oh, you know, as she's just a bit lost. But now that I'm addicted to the gym fitness bettering myself reading being a better man, being a better father, all of a sudden, you're obsessed. And I'm saying yeah, I'm obsessed with something that's better in my life and my family's life. So what's wrong with that? And I love that in I'm kind of love that on a tangent here. But yeah, so definitely get exercise involved, read some positive and find that these this one is the most important. I have had so many friends in my life who I've had to just break ties with, you know, good good friends, good childhood friends who we've been through so much stuff together and I just knew they weren't good for me. You know, you have some friends who will say Alice to sit down and have a chat. Let's sit down and have a dinner. Let's sit down and talk about business. I sit down talk about our children. Let's sit down talk about how we're going to be better fathers. I've all the time in the world for it. But if you have those friends I call them fairweather friends who always call you and say hey, man, let's go to this nightclub. Let's go drinking. What benefit is that bring it to anyone's life. And for as long as you're around people like that. You will struggle with mental toughness because those people are not conducive to having a healthy sound powerful mind

Curt Storring 29:46

yes. Oh man that is not smoking and smoking about enough. I don't think like I made a post a little while ago there was like dads need brothers not bros. Because exactly what you said this is heavy dude like this is there's so much that goes into holding the weight of your family, as the leader, as a provider as a protector as all of these things. And if you have guys who are coming at you like that going, like, oh, yeah, man, Mike complaining about their wives telling how their kids are so difficult, like laughing about stuff. It's like no man, that just takes you out of the game. But I found much like you that if I'm in a positive mental space all the time, like, everything goes easier. And that includes, by the way, social media, like I see sometimes, like, I don't know, friends, or whatever, you look at their Facebook profile feeds. And it's like, dude, who do you follow in here, like I don't, the only thing I use my social media for is my business now. But beforehand, it was like I was in business groups of intentional men. I was in fatherhood groups to be better, I was in marriage groups to be better. And it's like, all I saw was winning. And when you're seeing when you're surrounded by winners, and winning, and, and guys, just who have that attitude of constant bettering themselves, it's hard to get off track exactly. And that's what I see as well, in my coaching clients. It's like, okay, you're committed, because we have a weekly call, you've paid money for this, you have a habit stack that we do every week, you can't get that far off track unless you stop doing it. And that is such an important thing, man, especially like the exercise and getting people out of your life. It's just like you build the environment that helps you thrive as a man, husband, father, and that requires you putting those things as the number one priority in your life. Yeah, so maybe, maybe you can riff on that as well. Like, is that something you've had to do? Like? Do you have a massive vision as a man as a husband, as a father now to keep you going, even when it's like, I'll do there's a lot going on here, does this vision play a role in your in your story,

Ash The Can Man 31:32

vision for damn sure, you know, I tell people all the time, you know, everything, everything I've got in my life, currently, I've visualized it before it happened. And I believe if you truly, truly are certain, and you know, you, you double down on yourself, and you know that you will achieve something, I can bet my last dollar you do it. But when you have that little bit of doubt is when it doesn't happen. So that's me, I always visualize things. My motivation, as I said to my mum, by the time she gets the age of 60, I don't want her to work anymore. Because I've seen our heart, her job can be I've seen the effect it has on her. And me as a man as her son, you know, she raised me up, basically raising until I was 25. Because I'm 28 now, but she was just that mother who just done everything for me, like, you know, emotionally and I owe it to her. So she is my motivation. And I tell my wife as well, that we need to be in a situation where, you know, we've got businesses or we've got like, different sorts of income, so that we can be in our children's lives more. Because when you're working nine to five, and you know, you're you're, you're you're having late days at work, you know, you're coming back fighting traffic, and you're getting back home at like, seven, eight o'clock, your children are asleep by then, who's raising your children, the nursery, or I don't know if you guys got to kindergarten in Canada. But you as a parent, you want to be able to have a meaningful input in your child's life. And that's what that's what, that's what motivates me, I'm trying to build something so that I can be there for my family, I can give my mom that life so she doesn't have to work anymore. And that's what motivates me, I look at my children. And that fires me up. You know, sometimes I don't, I don't want to get up in the morning. And I think I mentioned I didn't get up in the morning for work. And my daughter comes in and says, Oh, what are you doing right now? And I'm saying I'm not going to work today. She says, Why am I gonna say because I can't be bothered? What is that teaching her that this teaching her that to be a quitter, and to be lazy, and to you know, if you feel like doing something, then you should do it. That's not the right way to be in life. Sometimes life will suck. Sometimes, like I said, you won't want to go to work. Sometimes you won't want to get up at five o'clock in the morning and go for that run. You won't want to do it. And there's not many people that do do it. That's why there is the top 2% club of people who do go out and better themselves and, you know, work there are sort of really I've got a thing I've started doing recently and people didn't really understand it. I bought like an ice bath thing for my garden. And I filled up a wall and I filled with ice and it was raining outside to rent through heavy heavy rain. And my mindset, stay inside the house is warm. You know, put Netflix on eat some popcorn. You have fun. Don't worry about the ice bath outside. Except the ice bath. I put the water in there, put the ice in and I said whatever my mind tells me I will never ever ever so comfortable. My mind says so if my mind tells me not to have the ice bath. You can bet your last dollar I'm more gonna go in the ice bath now. That's actually to have in life. You just have to just get tough. Life is hard. No one is coming to save you. No one is coming to help you. It is all on you.

Curt Storring 34:29

Man. Yes. Continue. I love this man. This is exactly what fires me up to. It's like what you just said about being in your children's lives more. I think about that stuff all the time. Like, just stop outsourcing your parenting. Stop going, Oh yeah, I need to get a better job so I can pay for daycare. It's like No dude, figure out another way to have one of you stay home or to like be home more often because you have a home based business or whatever. Like before this call. This is the first thing I did today and it's 11am My time like I sat with my oldest son and he was having a hard morning and I just sat with him. But I hugged him, I held him. I tried to be there for him. And then I baked with my middle son. It's like, those were the priorities because I can because I'm not at work. I'm not at some other job that I can't do this. I'm prioritizing being there. And even if it's hard sometimes even if I want to work like 16 hour days, because as an entrepreneur I like sometimes I kind of do, but like I'm doing this so that I can be there more so that I can have more control over the most important things, rather than being like, oh, yeah, sorry, I can come to your game this weekend. But you know, my boss had these deadlines on me. It's like no, dude. So looking for those opportunities to show up. And to be there. Like, what could be more important than your kid looking back on their life? And just assuming, like, yeah, of course, Dad was there. What do you what do you mean, your dad wasn't there? Like, oh, I just always assumed my dad would show up like, Man, that is the legacy that I want. Yeah, I want to build that where it's, it's boring. With how dependable I am. Yeah,

Ash The Can Man 35:53

I love that. Yeah. And something I can actually quickly add to that is, when I was in, in school, we used to have like school sports days, I don't know if you have them. But once a year, you'd raise the egg and spoon race and, you know, jumping in the sack race and that sort of thing. I used to always say to my mom, where's my dad, because all these kids will turn up with their dads and, you know, to have that proud dad on the sideline, or that proud that to say, Come on, son, I know you're going to win this race, that there's there's a different sort of feeling that your mom can't give you that a male as your father can say, I believe in you, son. And that gives you that, that that special power. And I never used to have that. And I never really understood it. I always just asked my mom, well, where's my dad? And obviously, I was too young for her to actually explain it to me properly. But I remember being in primary schools five, six years old, and asking that question. And that is the worst worst question that kid can ask. And I don't ever want to be in a situation where any of my daughters so where's my dad? Haven't seen him? What was he doing? Does he does he love me? Does he care about me? And then if you ever get asked that question, you think about what you're prioritizing, because your kids should be ultimately at the top of that list before money before anything.

Curt Storring 37:06

man Yeah, I can't even imagine. Man, that's, that's so convicting. Like, if there's anywhere, even if you're like in the home, even if you're not an absentee father, if you're not present in the moment, like you might as well in many cases, be that absentee Dad, you might as well not have shown up in the first place. So that also brings me to like presence, and just being in that moment. But actually, as you were talking about that I'm kind of curious about your relationship, or your your, I guess your relationship with your biological father today, like, have you? I don't want to put you on the spot here. But like, Have you forgiven him? Have you moved on? Have you dropped out? Do you still use it for fuel? Like, what does that look like now and doesn't have much power over you these days?

Ash The Can Man 37:48

It has no power of me at all. I'm more than happy to answer these questions. So I sort of forgot existed when my stepdad came into my life. And it was only once I was on Facebook scrolling. This is back in the days when Facebook was popular. And I don't to be honest, I don't even know what my biological father looks like. I have no idea what it looks like. I've never seen him. I've never spoken to him. He's never sent me a birthday card. He's never sent me a Christmas card. He's never sent me a penny, or a dime, if you guess what you guys call it. So I was on Facebook one day, and I recognize the name. And I was like that's meant to be my father's name, right? I said to my mom, I think I found him on Facebook. She said what you're going to do, son, and I said, I'm gonna message him. So this is how humbled I am as a person, because I recognize how hard it can be as a dad, sometimes I recognize I realize that sometimes it's tough. You know, every man has had feelings to say, I want to give up, I want to quit. So I wouldn't have that same mindset. And I messaged him and said, Oh, hey, it's just I'm actually not sure if you remember who I am. Just want to catch up with you sometime. There's no shade, no bad feelings. I just want to sit down to see where you're at. This isn't going to be you know, you know, me sitting here vilifying you and, you know, just want to just catch up with you see where you're at. So I sent the message. And then literally two minutes later, his Facebook account disappeared. So he obviously deactivated his Facebook. And then for a very, very split second, they hit me again. And I thought I have now come to this man humbly at I think was 21 years old at the time. You haven't been in my life for 21 years. And I'm still being supportive, nice, compliant, you know, not being hostile. And he has the he didn't have the decency to even reply because delete his account. And I got pretty angry. And I was like, No, I want to find where this guy lives. And I want to go to his house and I want to say Look who I've become successful. I've done this. I'm a successful father. And he's only a couple of weeks later I thought, you know, I'm not going to do that, as this man is even worth it. I've got an amazing stepdad who I call my dad who has made an incredible credible credible man it myself and I don't need him. I don't need him if he wasn't there my life for 21 years. I'm not 2928 now. I don't need him anymore. And the minute I forgiven him in my head, I forget, I forgave him probably 10 or 15 years ago. And the minute I forgave him is like a weight came off my shoulders. And I was like, I forgiving you so much. So I don't even care about you. I've got no feelings towards you.

Curt Storring 40:17

Man. That's, um, that's so hard for so many of us as even though, like, for me, for example, it took, like, so long, I was looking for an apology, even though like my dad was there. You know, he left my mom when I was three. And he, we still live with him for like, half the time and saw him. But emotionally, he wasn't there. And he didn't teach me the things that I assumed a dad would teach me and it just like, I don't know, kind of drifted, and was just sort of a physical being. And it still took me ages to even figure out what forgiveness was like. Yeah. And so like, I don't know, man, if there's anything else you can add to this, because this is life changing for guys, when they can forgive their father and even their mother as well. Like we do a process with my guys to try and get them to this point of seeing their dads as like, almost innocent, like five year olds, what kind of life would he have had to live to become the man he became? And could you find a little bit of forgiveness in there for him? So I don't know, man, like, is there anything else to that process for you? Or was it just like, what you just said,

Ash The Can Man 41:21

for me, it was, I found myself as I said earlier on in the podcast, I found myself going around being this angry kid. And deep down. I think the anger stemmed from him walking out on me, him having no input in my life. And until I managed to forgive him, I couldn't progress and be a better man. Because I still had that hate in my heart and that hate in my heart was coming out of my family. It's coming out of my, or my mother, friends, anyone who tried to get near me, I was automatically quite distant, as emotionless, I was quite angry. And it's like, the minute I forgave him, everything change, I became a better man, I became a better person, I became a more loving person, I became more caring had more interest in people's lives. And until you forgive that person, you're almost allowing that poison they've left you with to live within you. And it's time just to stop that. It's time to drink the antidote and say, I've been living like this for too long. Now, you've had too much of an impact on my life. I'm ready to forgive you. I'm ready to turn the page because that person's chapter in my book is over.

Curt Storring 42:25

Yes. And I've often thought about this, like it's forgiveness seems like you're the one getting hurt, because it's like, oh, they need to pay. But I found that forgiveness is not about the other person. It's about you releasing their power over you. And I've also heard this quote, which I don't know where it comes from, but it's, it says holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Yeah, I love that. And they've got so much power over you until that moment of forgiveness. And I love that clear cut, like anger, looking for something needing something. And then it's like, oh, wait, I'm gonna forgive him. And then literally, my life opens up. Yeah, that's so powerful man and everyone like whether your dad was absent or not, I highly recommend looking back into your story and being like, do I need to forgive my father for anything? And what would that look like in my life? Because man, this is a highly actionable thing. write him a letter. That's what I did. Yeah, like after my dad died, I just wrote him a letter was like, here's all the stuff that I wanted to say. And it was done. So Oh, sweet, okay, like, that really sucked. And it hurt. And I cried through it. And now I'm done with it. That was so important in my life. I'm actually curious about switching gears just a little bit into into fitness. Like you get up early, you prioritize working out. I don't know if you work with dads or anything like that. But maybe we'll just like touch a little bit on some of the core things that have had success for you. Because again, I looked at your Instagram and we chat and I was like, Man, this guy is jacked. And I would love to just, you know, even selfishly, get a little bit of that, because I I've had a number of guys on recently had Jason Khalipa on yesterday, who is a former CrossFit champion. And he was talking about starting slow starting small and building up habits. But are there things that you have done to find success as a busy father? In the fitness realm? Like, is it is it all consuming for you? Is that your business? Like can you just give us a little bit of your fitness journey in a way that might help some dads get even more committed to it? Because I think it's it's literally like the most important core of my habits that make me show up as a better man, husband and father. So what does that look like for you?

Ash The Can Man 44:24

I think, firstly, to be a father, you have to be able to be you have to be fit enough to keep up with your children. Firstly, I'd say that children are quite active, and especially my children, if I wasn't in shape, or I wasn't fit, believe me, I won't get to keep up with them because they're constantly running around. But I find that a lot of people I work with, they will say are actually having at the time haven't got the time to work on my fitness. And I say, Here's my schedule. I wake up at five o'clock in the morning. I've read till 530 Sometimes I go to the gym before work. So I leave for work at 6am I get to work for seven. I work from seven till three. I then go to the gym from four to five ish, then I have spend two hours with my daughter, I give her dinner, I give her a give her a bath, I read her book, I put her to bed straight after that, and then spend time with my wife, I'm meal prep after that. I'm at Reagan in front of a half an hour. That brings me to 10pm. So I say to people, that schedule sounds really busy. And if I told someone how much I do in a day, they'd say, There's no way you can do that in a day. But it's about prioritizing the things that now it's about waking up earlier, which people hate people hate hearing that, because it's been overused by so many entrepreneurs, it's true, you need to wake up earlier, and go to bed earlier. So you can function for the day. Because the whole notion of, you know, surviving on limited sleep isn't true, you need to make sure you have your six or seven hours a day of sleep, if you're fortunate if there hasn't been a child that wakes up in the middle of the night. But you know, to be able to be able to function as a as a father as a man as an athlete. So to go back to the fitness thing, I was just living with just bad habits, that weekend would come. The same friends I spoke about earlier in the podcast would call me up Hey Ash want to go and drink some beers today. I'll drink Toby's. I would then go and get a kebab. I'd go get some chips, I'd go get a pizza out and wake up the next day Sunday morning. I've got no motivation to train, I can't even open my eyes. So I drank so much alcohol, then you order another takeaway, which is like junk food. I don't know what you guys call it, then you've wasted your whole Sunday, the Monday now comes, you're still feeling hungover, you've got no motivation to go to the gym. So what I would say to people with a car, the bad habits can't the alcohol and if you can't cut out completely, definitely reduce it because that is not conducive to a healthy life or healthy life and fitness. What I do as well as I monitor, it's a bit excessive. But sometimes I track my macros because it's really easy to go around the day just now eating snacks and eat and loads of meals, and you probably don't realize how much you're actually eating. And then when you drink like five coffees a day, you don't realize that each coffee has 200 calories in it because it's full of sugar and whatever else before you know you've consumed 1000 calories in coffees and you know chocolates and biscuits and cookies or whatever you want to call it. So those sorts of things have to change over time. But I'd say the main important thing is to find something that you enjoy in fitness, and stick with it. So what I enjoy in fitness is lifting heavy listening to some real angry shit in my ears. Am I allowed to say words like that on the podcast? Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, listen, some real angry stuff. And lifting heavy, like the sense of achievement when I leave the gym like my wife has been say, I come back and I'm in a better mood. She's like, why am I lifted a deadlift PR today? She's like, is it and I'm like, No, this is deep. To me, this is personal. But this is such a sense of achievement. And when you go to the gym, you start to see those goals, it gets really, really addictive. And you're smashing those goals and you start seeing improvements. And, you know, aesthetically, you start to look a lot better. And you're getting really strong and that that big dude in the gym might say, Hey, man, I can see you doing your thing. You look good. All those sorts of things, it rubs off on you. But the hardest thing is to do is to get started and to get some consistency. But when you see you get consistent, you see the results. It will be an addiction for the rest of your life. But healthy addiction.

Curt Storring 48:06

Yes, 100%. And that goes back I hope everyone has taken notes of that obsession quote earlier, I'm going to pull that for the for the for Instagram, when I share this. That's so good, man. But I think that's so cool, because it's actually simpler. Because you can get into all sorts of things you can get into like splits, you can get into macros, you can get into like calories in and calories, you can get into all sorts of stuff. But if you just stop doing the things that are like stopping you from being at baseline, and if you just start doing one simple thing that you enjoy, like that's going to give you massively outsized results when you start. And for me, I have been screwing around in the gym for like 10 plus years. And only within the last couple have I got serious and only within the last couple of months have I gone like 100% in and it's changed everything. Yeah, I feel so much better. And it has helped me to have a coach at least to start with, and getting them on the right track and being held accountable and having like something I don't have to think about because I think that too. I don't know about you, but like, I don't think about anything, because for 30 morning when I get up, I'm like brain dead. So I know that I've sent my clothes out. I have a program in my phone. It's on my watch. I don't think I just open it up and go oh, okay, I guess I'm doing just today. I have my meals laid out beforehand. And like you I track them because like you said, you know, I go through and you know you have a couple I love this dried mango thing we get from Costco. I don't know if you guys have Costco, but it's like, yeah, yeah, so I get those dried mango things. And I used to just like have handfuls of that. And it's like, Oh, dude, it's so good. It's so healthy. And then you look at the back and it's like, Oh, dude, I probably had like 400 grant calories a mango. Yeah, and that's, that's like ridiculous. And so just like these little things like track what you even if you don't change what you're doing, if you start tracking what you eat, go for a walk, drinking water instead of coffee, like those basic things. But then like you said, what could be better to build your life on then consistent wins? Like that's why I think I'm not I'm not a fitness guru. I'm just I'm seeing the results of it. But starting small and getting those repeatable wins, you will feel better to show up as a better manual chauffeurs, better husband and father by just doing these basic things, man, okay, so I guess we're getting to the end of the conversation here, but you are starting or about to launch your own sort of fitness program, whatever. And again, go to go to Instagram, just trust this guy, he's jacked. What does that look like for you? And how is that? Like, how is this your next step as a father and husband too, because presumably, this is part of your, like, entrepreneurial journey to take control of your time for your family?

Ash The Can Man 50:32

Yeah, for sure. So for anyone that wants to know, my Instagram is at ash, the can man. My website is www dot Ashe, the camera and dot code at UK or.com. So what I'm trying to do at the moment, or what I'm going to do is, I'm releasing an online fitness platform, where I help male and females to achieve their dream physique, really. And it's not just a dream physique, because anyone can go to the gym, and you know, work out hard and, you know, get the gains and look the part. But what I'm trying to teach people is the mindset change, how to how to look at food, how to motivate yourself, how to win, it's five o'clock in the morning, and it's raining outside and you know, your friends are asleep in a nice warm beds, what is it that's going to make you get out of that bed, to go to the gym and chase that sense of accomplishment. I'm trying to teach people those sorts of things. So it's not just how to look good. It's how to think a bit like myself, how to build your mental toughness, how to train harder, how to sort of eat correctly. Because I meet a lot of people, I train with a lot of people actually and, you know, once a session gets a bit harder, they'll say, oh, you know, my session is finished, I'm sweating a little bit, and I'm done. And I'm like, Are you really done that you're not really done, when you think you're done, you've probably got another 60% in the tank. So I try to write programs for people where it's maybe start off a bit on the easiest side, each week, we're going to keep progressing, we're going to keep progressing, you're going to keep it in as PL PRs, and you're going to keep him improving, you're going to keep losing weight, and you're going to keep seeing your strength go up through the roof. And it's going to give you a sense of accomplishment, which in turn is going to make you feel better, and it's going to keep you motivated. But my plan of that is never to have clients long term, I'd rather just have a client for a month or two, show him all that I can and allow them just to sort of fly from there really? Because I do think everyone's got that, that power within them. For sure.

Curt Storring 52:23

Yeah, that's so good. Man, I see that in my coaching clients, too. It's like, after a month to three months. I think like I think we're good man, like, just don't stop this. We built this massive vision, you got the habits, you know what to do. Now, like, I don't want you here for years and years and years, like a like a therapist, for example. Because like we fixed your problems, and now you are in control, you've got that power. And I love that man, especially with fitness. Because you know, so many people are selling this, you know, stay here and do this forever, and keep paying for my new courses and stuff like that. But it doesn't what, what does this feel like? I know, we only got a couple minutes left. But I'm kind of curious about this, this journey into entrepreneurship. Has that been scary? Has that been hard? Or what does that look like for you? How have you set that up knowing that, you know, this is it's a so called risk. But at the same time, I think it's the least risky thing to do to be fully in charge of your finances in your in your career potential. But how have you thought about that as a busy day? Because I think most dads have something in them that they could just go and start a side hustle and build a massive business. Yeah. So how is that? How have you thought about doing that?

Ash The Can Man 53:22

I had to sort of weigh up everything, you know, do to create market research and take a calculated risk. Because like you said, there are there definitely are risks there. But I got to the stage where I can't really work a job list. It's not too badly paid at all. But I would have times where I'm not at home, I would have times where I'm not seeing my daughter develop and grow up and my wife doesn't see me that often or you know, I'm going to work she's getting home or, you know, I get back home and she goes to work. And that's not really conducive to a happy family or relationship or marriage or whatever you want to call it. And I've had this idea for years, to be a fitness trainer, to sort of help men and women to achieve their dream goals because I'm always quite positive and motivational in the gym. You know, I don't sit there and bright people I'm always quite positive and motivational. So I always had this within me but it always took it took this year for me to really sit down and say, You know what, I need more time to work on this. I need more time with my children with my family. And I knew it was a risk. And it's going to be a big, big risk. Because obviously, it's not you're not you're not guaranteed an income are you but that's not gonna put me off because I just know that I'm going to work harder and when it's when it's something for yourself, you are willing to work much more harder than if you're working for someone else because you know you're what you can earn is limitless or you know what you can achieve is limitless if you work a nine to five and I'm not bashing anyone who works nine to five because I currently still do but there is a ceiling there's a ceiling fan which you can earn there's a ceiling for how much you can accomplish in the job. And at the end of the day. You can only do so much because there is still going to be someone above you who owns that company. And I'm not really agree employee to be honest. I'm a better leader.

Curt Storring 55:04

Yeah, yeah, no, I feel that big time, man. And thank you for sharing that. I know it's, it's kind of like this last thing. It's like, Okay guys, let's get to the ending. I'm done the podcast, but it's like, no, this is another instance for you as a listener to be like, okay, am I truly living the life? I want to live? Yeah, am I auditing everything in my life so that I'm showing up as the best man husband and father possible? Is there more I could be doing is there a break in my habits that I could make to get this fresh, fresh perspective and I hope this conversation has been helpful to you guys listening because man, like from forgiveness, to finding success, even though you're starting from this place of a victim mindset, to be honest, to find success through that and to find these habits and then just start a business through it like Man, this is super inspiring. And I hope guys take immediate action after this. To do the same sort of thing. Forgive your father, if you can start your own business if you can show up as the better man husband father by going to the gym by getting your fitness on track as this has been so awesome. And and I think Is there anywhere else people can find you because I think you said the links already, which we'll put in the show notes at Dad.Work slash podcast. But any final thought here, bro, this has been super helpful. Thank you for being here.

Ash The Can Man 56:10

Thank you so much for bringing me on the show. And anyone out there who's struggling with with mental health struggling with motivation. Just want to tell you that we all struggle. You know, I've been there. I've had really tough days, I've had dark days where I'd wake up in the morning and I'd be I'd be irritated. I woke up because life's hard sometimes. And you have to realize that no matter what happens in life, you're still here, you're still breathing. And there's some stuff you've gone through in life that you never thought you would overcome. Yet, you're still here. So what I would tell you to do is dial back, think back to those times. And if you beat that, then I can guarantee you'll beat wherever today, tomorrow and in front of you. Just keep being great. Keep being tough. And we're all strong soul inside of us. Just you just have to believe it.

Curt Storring 56:52

Beautiful. I love that man. Okay, thank you ash again, man. We didn't even get into that you're gonna have to people can DM you for the full story. But yeah, I've really appreciated this. Go to Dad.Work slash podcast to get all the show notes and the resources mentioned on this episode. And guys, we will see you here on the next episode. Thanks, brother.

Ash The Can Man 57:08

Thanks a lot. appreciate me. That's great.

Curt Storring 57:13

Thank you for listening to the dad work podcast. That's it for this episode. But if you would like to stay in touch between weekly episodes, why don't you go over to Instagram and follow me there because I drop a number of things throughout the week that are related to what we talked about on this podcast but usually go a little bit deeper. provide some tips you can find me on Instagram at dad work dot Kurt. That's da di W O RK dot c u r t. And please, if you have been getting something out of this podcast if it has touched you if it has improved your marriage, your parenting your life, would you please leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify. leave a rating. If you have a few extra seconds leave a quick review. That's the best way that we can get this work in the hands of more fathers. And I truly believe that we change the world, one father at a time because each father that parents better that loves better raises children who do the same. And in just a couple of generations. I feel like we could be living in a world much better than the one we live in today. Your review will help along that path. And I thank you so much for being here to listen until next week. We'll see you then.

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