Unknown Speaker 0:00

If you are the foundation of your family, you are the firm footing. They build their lives on. You carry a glorious burden and you never dream of laying it down. You carry it with joy and gratitude. You show up even when you don't feel like it. You lead, serve, love and protect. You are a father. This is the dad work podcast where men are forged into elite husbands and fathers by learning what it takes to become harder to kill, easier to love and be equipped to lead. Get ready to start building the only legacy that truly matters. Your family

Curt Storring 0:59

welcome back for another episode of The dad work podcast. I am your host Curt Storring. And my guest today is Jason Khalipa. We go deep today talking about Jason's effort over everything mindset, how to encourage your kids to love fitness without building resentment, how Jason navigated his daughter's leukemia diagnosis, while keeping himself grounded and healthy. How CrossFit helped Jason become better prepared to overcome adversity. The AMRAP mentality for focus and presents safe and effective ways to expose your kids to challenges so they can learn how to overcome the things that come at them in life. The importance of prioritizing date nights with your wife even during the hardest times. Why being fit matters as a father and how to take little steps today to start crushing it, and how to teach your kids things that you are not an expert in. Jason is CEO and founder of NC fit a global fitness company with 1000s of participants worldwide. NC fit is widely considered first in class in functional training by industry insiders. Jason is also one of the most accomplished athletes in CrossFit Games history. In 2008, Jason was crowned at the fittest man on earth. He has also earned top finishes including second and third. Jason had the honor of representing Team USA three times in the worldwide CrossFit Invitational earned the spirit of the games honor in his BJJ purple belt, Jason attributes much of his success in life and competition to the support of his wife and children, as well as to the AMRAP mentality. You can find Jason online, NC dot fit is the website or Jason khalipa.com. That's J S O n KHAL ipa.com. The effort over everything podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts, you can find them on Instagram as well, Jason Khalipa. And guys, all of these will be mentioned in the show notes at Dad dot work slash podcast. What an incredible episode guys, I was so blessed to be able to get in touch with Jason. And he shares some amazing things in this, including overcoming massive, massive adversity in his family life. I'm really honored to have had Jason on the show. This was an excellent episode, guys. And if you have been finding value here, if you've been enjoying the data word podcast, if you have learned something that has made you a better man, husband and father, why don't you go over to Apple, if you have just a moment to leave a review that would help so much would help me would help all the other men who will see this podcast because of your review, because it helps in the Apple algorithms. And if you listen on Spotify, if you just tap that rating button and leave a review, there'll be very, very helpful. And as if you are ready today to become an elite man, husband and father, if you're ready to become harder to kill, easier to love and equipped to lead. Grab it my free elite dad habit stack. It's everything I do. It's all the good stuff that I've tried. None of the stuff I have thrown out over the last eight years of testing everything. It's everything I do every day to simplify my life such that I simply show up as the best man husband and father I can when you're dialed into non negotiable habits, you can't fail guys. And so you can download my elite data habit stack at Dad.Work slash habits. That's Dad.Work slash habits my free elite dad habit stack pick that up. And without further ado, we'll get into this conversation with my guests. Jason Khalipa. All right, dads, I'm here with Jason Khalipa. And I'm pumped because, man, I just want to look to your bio. I can only imagine as your kids get older telling them Look, Daddy was the fittest man in the entire world. So so that bio just kept catches me and just makes me go like, Man, I'm so excited to hear about how you got there and how that applies to your parenting journey. Because that's pretty intense. So what has been your journey to become the fittest man in the world, and we're gonna sort of move that into fatherhood. But I kinda want to hear origin stories where you come from the fact that you got there. And now you're still doing amazing things. entrepreneurially and as a father, so what did it look like in your life to be like, Man, I think I'm gonna be the fittest man in the entire world. Why is that a thing.

Jason Khalipa 4:38

So the sport of CrossFit created the CrossFit Games and at the CrossFit Games, they crowned the fittest on Earth. And, you know, it's a test of a lot of different fitness elements. And I was fortunate to compete there for a really long time. So won the CrossFit Games in 2008. I continue to compete there for close to a decade. I stopped competing there in 2000. 16 after my daughter, she stopped competing in 2016. And, yeah, I mean, look, obviously, I don't really like boast about this to the kid. Both of them, I was fortunate to stand on the podium with them in 2014, which is a pretty cool accomplishment. That was something was important to me, bringing the family aspect to it. And then, you know, as of recently, I'm competing in about a month at an event in Austin, Texas, where I'm competing something called the legends category. And so they'll be able to come and hang out and and see Smith stuff, too. So I think there's, um, look, there's a lot of carryover between, you know, just the work ethic that's required to compete at the highest level and CrossFit, and then the work ethic and the resilience to try and be the best father I can be. I think that's, that's really the carryover there.

Curt Storring 5:49

Yeah, absolutely, man. And that's so cool that you're able to bring your kids into analysis, they can see it happening, because I think that's for me, at least, my kids are going to do what I do, not what I say. So to see you competing at a high level like that is probably going to have a massive impact on them. And I'm curious if it does already, like are they? How old? Are they? No.

Jason Khalipa 6:05

Eight and 11? So answer your question, my 11 year old every day, we're in the garage at like 6am. So she likes to get her workouts and we keep them super simple, super short, 1015 minutes getting some movement, she hits the cold plunge, then I hit the cold plunge, then it's off to school. She also plays volleyball, and my son, he's eight. He's currently playing for baseball, he loves baseball, we'll get them into you play some flag football, we'll get him in a tackle soon playing like another year or two. And he gets after it in the garage as well. So both of them, you know, it's been a long journey. And we had to kind of meet them where they were at. It wasn't like as simple as like, you know, them seeing mom and dad in the garage and, and them doing it. It was a little bit of that. But it kind of took some time for them to kind of wrap their head around this whole fitness thing. But basically, the way we introduced them to them was that our children had to sweat once a day, and that that that relationship started at an early age. I didn't care what you did you set a sweat once a day. And so that ultimately can turn into a bunch of different things. I want to have a love for fitness for the rest of their life and not become resentment to it. Oh, yeah,

Curt Storring 7:13

that's huge man. And I love that simple rule. Because there's so much of that stuff in my life. I'm like, I want my kids to be free to be entrepreneurs, I want them to be fit. I want them to do things like read. And if I'm the one pushing them, they're probably not going to do it. Yeah, I think that simple rule of just like, like, just sweat one time a day, do what everyone love it. It's kind of like reading, right? Like, I want my kids to love to read, but they have to learn to love what they're reading, before they learn to read, you know, just for their own for their own learning. And it's stuff like that. Right? So was there anything else that went into that in terms of like, age related? Or like, did you do stuff with them all the time? And I'm sure most of it was just like, sweat once a day and watch me because I'm going to do it? Was there anything that you did to bring them along? Cuz it's one of the things I want to talk about is like, let's get our kids into this man. Yeah,

Jason Khalipa 7:58

I mean, it's not, you know, my journey is different from everybody else's. And your journey is gonna be different than mine, etc, etc. I mean, the reality is, is that my journey is gonna be different because I own and operate gyms. So our, our, our children have been in these gyms since they were born, they could work the front desk, they could clean the gyms, I have them doing that, since they were really young. So that's something that we have that other families I don't think do have, we also have a full blown garage gym, because again, that's that's what we do for a living. So those are benefits that we have. And we have a culture of just kind of like growth mindset fitness around us a lot. What we've had to do is just made sure that we kept a balance between being overzealous, and putting our personal initiatives on our children, because, you know, for me, I look at it, like, I want my children to be as fit as possible for the rest of their life. This is not like a one year a one month. So it takes them a while to kind of wrap their head around this, this idea. I'm okay with that. Because I need them to find what works for them for the rest of their life, not just for, you know, for the next year. And so we really took our time, you know, my son, he's different. He could go in the garage for hours with me and lift and he loves it, my daughter, we just how it works for her it started off with just going for walks. And then eventually those walks turned into a little bit of kettlebell work. And then a little shortly thereafter, she started seeing and feeling results. And it turned into a 10 to 15 minute workout a day that I designed for, along with her traditional sports. But it took a while to get there. And I don't I have to acknowledge the fact that my journey as a Father and with our family is gonna be different than others because of the way we're surrounded. Also, you know, we spent a lot of time in the hospital for years. And so it kind of transitioned a little bit of the way that we approached fitness coming out of that it was a little bit more complicated, I think than some families had.

Curt Storring 9:46

Right. Would you mind going into that a little bit because I've heard you another podcast talked about your daughter's journey with leukemia, right?

Jason Khalipa 9:51

Yes. My daughter was diagnosed leukemia in 2016. And, you know, she's about to hit her five years and about six months. She hits her five years out of treatment, she's a really big deal. That's like hazing. That's like, statistically real likelihood of, you know, basically getting cancer is the same as you and me. And so it's a really, really big hurdle that we're coming up on six months from now. But, you know, when she was diagnosed, she was like four or five years old. And she was treated for the next two and a half years. So it was a long treatment plan in a pretty like, you know, I mean, you're in and out of the hospital for, you know, months, weeks, days on ends, and for two and a half years. So that took a little bit of a toll on the family. And we had to learn how to, you know, we had to learn how to make that our new normal for two and a half years,

Curt Storring 10:41

man that want to hear stuff like that, like I had a guy on my podcast recently, Greg Denning, he was in a car accident, and one of his children was ejected, ended up breaking her femur at a very young age. And the way he was talking about a man who was like, that puts into perspective, everything that's important. Like, is my business important when my kids in the hospital like, not as much I mean, I want to be able to pay for things, obviously. But how did that like reprioritize your family life? Or maybe your entire life? If, if at all? Was that like a shock? Did that change everything? Yeah, I

Jason Khalipa 11:10

mean, it shocked everything. I mean, it changed everything. I mean, that night changed everything. Because there's no other focus. That's it. It's, it's with that type of news, there is no, there is no anything else, right? Like, when you receive news, your child has a terminal illness, like or potentially terminal illness. You know, you, you you I mean? Like, I sent out an email that night to our staff, and was just like listening, effective immediately, you know, if it doesn't have to do with getting my daughter, well, I don't want to be involved in it. And that could be for a day, a week, a month, a year, I don't know. But in the meantime, this guy is in charge did gave direction. And that was like at 2am. You know, we got the information probably around, you know, midnight, that she had leukemia. But I think at that point, you know, I was competing professional sport, I was opening up new locations globally for our business. And, you know, it just changed that whole dynamic, because we had to give up something. So obviously, I stopped competing. And I prioritized her health. So I you know, documented everything read as much as I can, you know, became a real advocate for her health. And looking back on it, I don't think there was really any other option, you know, he just kind of do what you got to do. And you kind of roll with the punches at that point.

Curt Storring 12:29

Yeah, man, what a punch to roll. And how did you like cope through all that? Because you're, obviously it's your daughter, and like, you got to do everything, but you're now giving up your dreams, you're navigating this with your wife, you've got all these people around you? What were some of the things that kept you grounded and moving forward purposely in that time?

Jason Khalipa 12:46

Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, look, I was very fortunate, I actually wrote a book called as many reps as possible about this. And I was very fortunate, I was blessed to have financial stability, you know, emotional skills, because of everything that CrossFit Games taught me, and a fitness hedge. And so, you know, I think those were a blessings that allowed us to, you know, combat this the best way possible. You know, I brought a truck to the gym. And so it's interesting, a lot of people with leukemia, leukemia is very, very odd. Because, unlike a hard tumor, or treatments, we get it for like three months, it's not better or worse, by the way, it's just different, where, you know, you'll be at home and all will be well, and then it won't be well, and when it's not, well, you're instantly back in the hospital, and you'll be there like you don't know how long you're gonna be there for you can be there for a day, a week, a month. Because once a child becomes neutropenic, which means they're ANC, they're, they're basically their white blood count to fight off disease. If it's anywhere below 500. They won't let you leave the hospital. So you can go there and your kid could just like spike a little fever, let's just say a little fever. And that tells you that there's something going on. And then you go to the hospital, they're like, Dude, you're in like you're inpatient. And then every day, you get bloodwork drawn, and every day, if it's under 500, you're staying there. And so, you know, it was really important to kind of get time to myself, so I brought a truck to the gym, I loaded with a bunch of gear, and I would just go there and go crush a workout. My goal was always to stay within seven minutes of the hotel room or the hospital room. Just because when the doctors come you're able to kind of get like a five to seven minute window that you would know they're coming. So you know, I always ran within a mile because I figured if I really had to, like always run back within seven minutes. So that was that. And

Curt Storring 14:33

that's that's such a great lesson. By the way, just like apply that everywhere in your life. If you could just make that happen. When you're going through something like that, that will that will keep you sorted. For those moments when your daughter is going to need you. Your wife is going to need you all these people need you and yet you're filling up your own cup you're making sure that you're overflowing with what you need to to thrive. Like that's that's such a great concept. Are there any way that we can go into a Guess what that AMRAP mentality is for the guys listening so that we can get into some of this other stuff because I would love to go into the emotional skills, learning, CrossFit that are transferable to fatherhood. But let's just go into AMRAP. A little bit here.

Jason Khalipa 15:10

Yeah, I mean, I think when it comes to the transferability, we'll I'll briefly touch on touch on that before AMRAP carries over the CrossFit Games, the greatest thing ever taught me was obviously work ethic, all that stuff, whatever. But it's, you know, overcoming adversity. In particular, at moments that seem very struggle, like like a lot is on your mind. So learning how to use positive self talk, learning how to compartmentalize what's in your control out of your control, learning, learning those two things in particular, and doing so on a daily basis to your workouts, I believe can be incredibly impactful for anybody listening. So if you're a dad out there, you don't exercise, me telling you that you're gonna get six pack abs, you probably don't give a shit you don't. Because by now you probably know, or me telling you, your blood markers is gonna be better. So you can keep up with your kids. And you can be a better father longer term. And you know, if you don't believe in that, then I don't have to tell you. But what I would tell you, is that fitness, it's the best way to unlock your potential to overcoming adversity in real life. And when you're in the garage, when you're in the gym, and chips getting kind of hard. How do you compartmentalize that? How do you utilize positive self talk? How do you compartmentalize what's in your control, attitude control? How do you do that in a workout where the stakes aren't that high? Then how do you carry that over into where it really matters in real life? And so if you're not motivated by six pack, if you're not motivated by being the best father, you can be like long term right? Keeping up with them energy wise, then maybe you'll be inspired by it for when life throws you a curveball, which it will it always does, you'll be better prepared to handle it. And which kind of leads me the AMRAP mentality, the Amorite mentality is this idea of as many reps or as many rounds as possible. So think about, you know, if I asked you to do as many burpees as you can in one minute, that's all you would do, you wouldn't answer your phone, you wouldn't be distracted, you just be present and focused. And I started thinking, How do I balance these different things in my life and be successful in AMRAP is what came to mind when I'm am rapping. That's when I'm most productive. And so I started am wrapping each facet, when I'm with you and with you, when I'm with the family or with the family when I'm working out and working out when I'm working business and work in business. And throughout the duration of the day, I did switch am reps. And I'm just really present really focused. And that skill set allowed me to kind of build a, you know, build a business, create relationships, whatnot. So when Ava did get sick, we were best prepared to handle it.

Curt Storring 17:38

And how does that look like in your life today? Like what are those things that you're am wrapping right now? You just mentioned family business, all that kind of stuff. But how does a guy listen to this? Go? Okay, sweet. Like now what what do I do to start this?

Jason Khalipa 17:50

Yeah, man, I think at first identify like, what are your core focuses? And if you have too many, you got to get rid of them. You know, for me, it's my my business, my family and my fitness. That's it. And for other people, you might have different things. But if you have too many things, right? You know, you might, you might be doing too much. So if you were to say, okay, the business provides financial means on my family is obviously my family. There's so many benefits there. Fitness, maybe it's not as big of a part of your life. But it should be at least a component. Maybe faith is driven in there, maybe your church or community. There's there's multiple things and you can say, Okay, how do I? How do I take each one of those focuses? Identify what like, identify, what am I focus on within each one of those, and then stay present and focus as I'm doing it. So for example, if I'm in the garage at 6am, with my daughter, I'm present and focus there. I then switch gears once they go to school, and I'm present and focused on work. I then switch gears later on I work out I then switch gears when I'm back at home for dinner. And then I switch gears again. And I'm just taking mental notes to say hey, you know, if I'm riding bikes, my kids, I'm not going to be trying to talk on the phone on a conference call. I used to do that way too much. And she's something I'm trying to get away from.

Curt Storring 19:05

So there's a couple of components of this. There's there's simplifying, there's knowing where you're going within those few simple buckets because I think where this falls off his guys go like, man, but I'm gonna forget what I have to do in these 13 other categories. It's like, no, no, if you have three or four, you just know what you gotta do. You pick one thing you do the next one thing, but I feel like there's also part of this, that getting the most out of am wrapping your life. You got to have, you know, like your podcast talks about effort over everything, right like this. I know you sort of passed over in the crosser mark like I you know, discipline, that kind of stuff. Maybe it's just super natural for you. But how are you prioritizing effort over everything? You know, purpose over pleasure, all that kind of stuff. That's like just do the harder for command. Is that natural for you? How do you coach kids through that?

Jason Khalipa 19:50

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I coach my kids on that too, right? It's, it's the only thing the only I mean, there's a lot you could look up to and other people but when you see true Whoo, true effort, when you see someone really, really go out there and lay it on the line, it doesn't really matter their performance. Because it's remarkable. I mean, think about like, the performance is where you really look back like, wow, that stood out to me. It's when you watch someone hit the brink of exhaustion hit the brink of their limitations, and they broke through and they put in effort over anything else, I think should be rewarded, because if you continue to put in your best effort, over time, you will become excellent. You may not be excellent today, that's okay. But if you go in there, and you approach it with, I'm going to put in my best effort today period, and I'm not going to walk through the motions, I'm not going to go through it, I think you're going to build something special. And I think you could do that in any realm. Whether it's, I just, you know, again, the AMRAP mentality is about being present focused effort over everything is is this overall ethos that we have at our gym, that just represents when you come in here, dude, I don't care if you get 50 reps or 20 reps, if you're putting in your best effort. That's all we got. And over time, that's going to call you know, culminating is something special because you blend effort with consistency, and some really good stuff happens.

Curt Storring 21:10

What drives you on that man? Because I talked to a lot of guys who they want to do this kind of stuff. And they're like, oh, man, I just like I hit the snooze button today. What is it for you that keeps you like fired up all the time to put in that effort?

Jason Khalipa 21:22

Yeah, I don't know, man. I you know, I think some people probably are more naturally born with it than others. But I think that, you know, just just fear of not reaching your potential. I think it's something that's always on my mind. I feel like I'm barely scratching the surface of what I can do. From husband, father business owner of I'm barely scratching the surface. And those are things that inspire me to try and do better.

Curt Storring 21:46

Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. And thank you for sharing that with your kids. You said you're trying to instill this in them, obviously, as like, you know, top priority, but how are you actually doing that? Obviously, you're working out with them. But what else are you doing to be like, kids effort? As long as you try as long as you're working as hard as you can? How does that look in like practicality?

Jason Khalipa 22:03

Well, I mean, I think those are things you talk about, right? When they're playing sports, when they're when they come off the field. What do you say to them? How do you talk to him about certain things? Hey, how'd you think you did today? Did you feel like you really went out there and you put out your best effort today? Great, awesome job, dude. Let's roll. Like, it's not like, I just I just ask them like, hey, how do you feel like you did and then start having a great conversation about you know, hey, what play? Did you feel like you really excelled that today? Oh, what do you think was different there and talking to him? I think on the field, I think matters. I think in the garage matters. I think in the cold plunge and sauna. I have them in daily. I think those are things now. Now I understand that some people listening probably do this guy's got his kids in the cold plunge and sauna with a truck. So my cold plunge that 52 degrees. So that's like the Pacific Ocean at a you know, cold point. So you know, we live up here in northern California, and Santa Cruz is that so it's not like it's freezing freezing. But it allows my children to be exposed to extremes. In a world where everything is just keeping our kids so comfortable, and trying to wrap them in bubble wrap. I'm trying to find safe and effective ways to expose them to challenges so they can learn how to overcome it. And maybe that's just me being jaded, right? But like when you get hit with the type of news that we've been hit, you realize, like this is not like all rainbows and unicorns, there's going to be struggles for rest of our life. What can I do to help best prepare my children for the future? And is trying to instill work ethic and expose them to micro doses of adversity that I can at least moderately control is what I try and do.

Curt Storring 23:37

Yeah, that's really good man. And that's one of the things that we've been trying to do as much as we can to is, I'm going to take the burden for my family for as long as I can, and as much as I can. And I'm prepared to start giving my kids more and more and more so that they can actually survive, like you said, in a world that just wants some comfortable, docile, doing nothing easily manipulated, easily controllable. And that physical thing is the one thing they can't actually take away from you. Right?

Jason Khalipa 24:04

Yeah, the physical things like, you know, other things like we host regular monthly rocks for like, you know, people to go out there with their kids and put weight on their back and go for walks. I mean, I I'm definitely on like this side of things in terms of like trying to expose the kids the hard stuff, but I really, but it didn't start off this way. Like I don't, I feel like we have a healthy relationship with exposing the kids to tough things. And I feel like it's taken a long time to get there. Like it didn't just start off because again, I've always looked through the lens of how do I do what's best for the children? Yeah, I want to expose them to these microdose of adversity. But if that turns them off to fitness for the rest of their life, and I'm doing them a disservice. So I need to slowly ramp them into things just like we would anybody right? Like, like slowly and then and then one thing leads to another you know, and it's it's interesting, like tick a box shop. When I first started exposing the kids of auctions, I just had them jump on one like little 10 pound play That's it. And then we did that for a while. And then I added a 25. And then I added this. And I added that. And I mean, we're talking months, if not years. And finally, you know, now we're jumping on the 20. Orange Box, but it's like, those things came from mental and physical, like confidence. And they came over years of training. So I think that's important to is like, the journeys, you know, long, so I want to keep going on it.

Curt Storring 25:23

Yeah, dude, that's such a good reminder for me, because I am easily swayed into the here. And now insofar as like, oh, I want this to happen right away. You know, the little patience and almost like, grown up with a scarcity attitude. I'm training myself to have that abundance mindset where it's like, Oh, dude, it's a long ballgame. And that's one of the things I struggle with. So hearing that, it's like, what else can I apply that to my life, I can be more gentle on my expectations with their chores, I can be more gentle with my expectations on them, we just start a homeschool. So it's like, Oh, why don't you get it perfect. It's like, no, no, start super small, get them on that 10 pound plate. And then once they master that, move them up. That's such a good reminder for me and everyone else. And I

Jason Khalipa 26:01

think maybe the reason why I'm so jaded or like, like this perspective, so important. Me in particular, with fitness, it's good to see it every day, right? I'm looking, I just got done watching a class of you know, average age, probably, at this class, average age is probably like, I don't know, 35 to 40. But we have classes where, you know, we have seven year olds, and 65 year olds, and I want to watch my kids still in the gym, still active when they're 60 7080. And I think because I see these people, and those are the ones that really inspire me, because could you imagine? Like, could you imagine like, so right now, you know, my kids are 11 and eight. If I continue to stay as fit as I am, and obvious, I'm gonna have some deficiency. But if I continue to stay there, and I'm 70 years old, and I can outrun my grandkids, and my kids, like, like, that's what we want, like, I never want to be a liability to them. I want to be able to go hike, climb, and never allow fitness to inhibit those things. But I also want that for my children. So I know that if I'm looking at it in the long game, you know, does it really matter if they get a, you know, 10 pound PR within a month or a year? Probably not? Huh?

Curt Storring 27:09

Man, that's such a good mindset. That's so good. I'm so inspired right now. Because I'm like, Man, where else can I do this? And like you just said, I want to be able to run my grandkids. I actually I think Instagrams cancelled me right now, on shadowbanned. Because I said real men should be able to benchpress their wives and not run their kids. And I think that was like fat shaming or something. But anyway, that was like, like, the legacy that I want to let lead leave, is that for my kids, so that my grandkids are looking up to my own kids be like, wow, like, they're so fast. They're so fit. They're so present. Yeah. Because like you said, I don't want my lack of fitness to stop me from participating and be like, Oh, no, no, don't ask dad. You know, he can't run, you know, it hurts his back, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, he's too, you know, he eats too much. It's like, dude, that is the lowest. That's the lowest common denominator for guys who cannot be with their kids. You can't control what's going into your mouth, and you can't control getting up in the morning, go to the gym. How are you going to be there for your kids? And that drives me every single day, man.

Jason Khalipa 28:04

Yeah, it's tough for me. Because sometimes, you know, again, I've had to learn to kind of bite my tongue and recognize everybody comes to it with a different perspective and background. But I mean, if you're a dad, especially if you're a dad, you have young kids, and maybe you had them later on life, and you're not working on your fitness, I seriously think you're doing your children a disservice. Because your energy levels like imagine if you're 50 pounds overweight, that means all day you're carrying around a 50 pound, you know, weight on your back, of course, you're gonna have an energy at night like, and all of a sudden your kids are at school, they come home and they want to go play baseball, but you're too tired, because you're not because you've for whatever the reason, then something that's within your control. And, you know, I refuse to be that guy I refuse on, and I'm gonna work my ass off for the rest of my life to never be that guy. Because I've been in family situations where we've been traveling, and we want to go do something, and someone cannot participate because they don't feel comfortable. Or maybe they don't have the fitness level. And that's really unfortunate. And I think that's within our control. And we should start work on that. And if you're a dad listening right now, and you're offended by what I'm saying, I apologize, you might have a background that I'm unaware of. But assuming that you assuming that you could start walking tomorrow. Just start the 10 minute walk. That's it, just add a 10 minute walk in, and man you'd be shocked you come home, you're gonna be feeling so good. And they do that every day, or three times a week. And these are adding in a couple of pushups, couple squats. These are adding in a little bit this and what do you know six months later, you're feeling better. You have more energy, and you're like gonna smash it. Like, anyways, that's where I'm at.

Curt Storring 29:45

Yeah, yeah. Thanks for that. And again, it's definitely not a condemnation, because I don't know where you guys are at. But I think that we need to be calling up to excellence in parenting. Only because it's literally our kids lives at stake. And that's what I come back to it. I'm like, do I want to call this out? Do I want to call this up? It's like, yeah, because the kids are at stake. And if only we could get dads to show up with this kind of commitment and excellent commitment to excellence in everything, I think we'd be living in a better world. Well,

Jason Khalipa 30:12

I mean, I'll take it one step further. So like, a lot of people, they believe that like police officers fire, you know, certain groups should be in good physical shape. And I agree, I think they should be I think most people actually would probably agree that that group of individuals should be in good shape, because your life and my life may one day depend on it. Right. But then if you agree with that, then would you also agree that if potentially, you had to take care of your children, save your children, then should you also be in good physical shape to do that? I'd say yeah, right. Like, if you, if you had to help your children out of a building, if you had to go run with them, if you had to go do something, you should have that capability. I think that's, it's not going to happen overnight, if you're really out of shape, but you can make steps in that direction. I think that's something that's really important.

Curt Storring 31:04

Yeah, man, and you're just saying, like, if you're 50 pounds overweight sort of thing. And that, you know, I've never been overweight, but I was kind of like skinny fat, you know, went to the gym kind of F around itis. But I joined this fitness coaching, last couple of months, and I've dropped 22 pounds, finally got abs for the first time ever, but I noticed in hockey, I'm out there, and you know, not gas anymore. And I'm going, oh, man, everything else is slightly easier. And over the course of the day that really adds up. So even if you're like, oh, you know, not that bad. Going from not that bad to excellent, has massive returns. So I really highly recommend guys like dial and you guys have, I think it's an app on your workouts and stuff.

Jason Khalipa 31:44

Look, I mean, we're gonna continue to put out more products, I think it'd be really good for the dad. Yes, we have the NC Fit app that requires, you know, some equipment. But I think a great place to start, start walking. And then you start loading your walks. So you start taking a backpack, throwing it on your back with a heavy water bottle in it, or bricks, or a plate, whatever, and start loading your spine and going for walks. And then after that, start adding in bodyweight movements. And then after that, then you can really start talking about change. The reason why I'm so passionate about this is that I think dads people they put on a pedestal to get in better shape. When in reality, all it takes is one day, 10 minutes, and then create consistency. And just do that two to three days a week. But whatever you do, don't listen to this podcast, get all fired up and go to the gym, and think you know, you're gonna get results tomorrow. Instead, be real, and just start making little little steps and then compound those over months and years. And before you know it, you're gonna be, you know, crushing the game.

Curt Storring 32:49

Yeah, exactly. It's like exactly what you say, with a 10 pound way to the 25 pound way, right? It's just that incremental gain. And that's the thing. Like, I have this massive vision that draws me into the future, I can't get away from it. It just drags me along, no matter what I want. However, I'm feeling it doesn't matter. I just want to get there. But it's backed up by non negotiable daily habits. And I know like you said, I'm not going to drop, you know, a million pounds, I'm not going to get super jacked right away. But I know from enough experience with enough guys around me, and this why community is so important that if I do the thing that I say I need to do for, you know, months or years at a time, I can't help but get a lot closer to that, that goal that I wanted to set. And if you don't do those things every day, you're absolutely not going to hit them. But if you do, you'll probably get close. So I think just having a vision to draw you along, for me has been really helpful. I don't know if you need that. But like I just in terms of motivation, I need like that huge like, oh, man, that's ideal version of me. Now, I just got to do the thing to get me there. You ever deal with that? Or is it just like,

Jason Khalipa 33:45

I think, you know, it was good analogy, like in business, like, hey, I want to go from here to Europe. And along the way I might stop. But I know where I want to go. Like on a like an airplane, for example. Oftentimes, I think people just go for my kid Arizona, and then from Arizona, they then try and figure out the next step and then try and figure out the next step. Instead, you know, figuring out where you want to go on your journey. And then slowly taking the steps that you you know, is going to help you get there. I think it's key on Yeah, I think that's something I think about on a regular basis. I think when the with the fitness journey, that's what you got to think about, right? As a dad, it's okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna, my goal is to lose 20 pounds because I need more energy. And I need this for my kids. And or I'm going to quit smoking, or I'm going to quit drinking three sodas a day. There's no There's got to be a bunch of stuff and but once you start doing those things in your life, it starts building your confidence to go do other stuff. And like I would ask every day like what are you really good at? You know, maybe you're really good at accounting. You're really good at business. You're really good at this. Well, what makes you really good at it? Well, you're probably uniquely qualified, you're probably very passionate about it. You're probably very educated on it, whatever. Well, how do you take just a piece of that and like start just layering in like the fitness level demand or the health element. And even if you just do 10% of like how good you are over here, maybe you're like, you're not good at fitness, okay, I get it. But like, just start a little bit, all of a sudden, you'll see that everything in your life exponentially compounds and feels better is my experience.

Curt Storring 35:17

Yeah, I've literally just experienced that over the last couple of months in this program we're doing right now. It's like everything else in my life has got better because I have this basic discipline and fitness base. Now, I can do more, I can serve more, I can show up more. And it's like, oh, I didn't know that I could just, you know, start from this base of doing things with my body, and my mind, my soul, everything shows up better. And it's not that hard. It's just like the basic things repeated over and over. And then actually staying on that path, I think is the biggest thing, which is why I like to have a vision attached to it, which I think a lot of dads can get behind. Because it's our kids, man, your wife picked you forever. Your kids didn't choose to be here you owe them, man. So if you're not driven in the future,

Jason Khalipa 35:54

you're locked in. You're like, you gotta you gotta you gotta be there. I mean, and yeah, anyways, that's it.

Curt Storring 36:01

Yeah, I heard you talk about a mantra recently, and I've been using these as well, move fast, Breathe Slow. And I know that's like, fitness. It's, it's keeping you in the game. But are there other mantras or affirmations that you use or have used, whether it's physical, or whether it's family related?

Jason Khalipa 36:18

Um, you know, the move fast versus slow is interesting, because it's more fitness related in terms of like, move with purpose, keep your heart under control, act rationally, on, I'd say in daily life, it's just regular check ins like, hey, how am I doing? Like, as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, as a husband, as a father, you know, I met my wife when we were 14. lots changed since we were 14. And, you know, we have to grow together. And how am I doing that on a daily basis versus just like, these macro check ins yearly? are like, Oh, shit, I've been a terrible father. Instead, I have these micro check ins where I can ask myself how I'm doing. I think that's really important.

Curt Storring 36:58

Yeah, how did that develop? You just start doing that one day? Or is it been some Yeah,

Jason Khalipa 37:02

it's the same way. I approached everything, like in particular, like competing, I'd be like, okay, you know, what, am I good at women? Not that good. Okay, how do I put some work in to get better at that. And then I take that same philosophy, and I put into other areas of my life. And, you know, for me, it's like, regularly checking in and say, Hey, how do I do today as a husband, a father, as a business owner, you know, some days there's days that I kill it on one area, maybe don't do as well on the other? Will? How do I write that wrong the next day, and like, kind of make sure I'm running an even playing field, right? Instead of just, again, waking up a year later and be like, oh, shoot, I've been you know, neglecting my children, because I've been traveling every day,

Curt Storring 37:38

you know? Yeah. Do you like journal or anything like that? Or is it just mental check in?

Jason Khalipa 37:41

It's just mental check ins, oftentimes, like, I rode my bike here, like I was telling you, oftentimes on the bike, it's in the sauna. It's things like that,

Curt Storring 37:50

man, that as I'm playing this through my head, it's like, okay, there's probably a lot of guys going like, Well, how do you just think about that stuff? Man? Like, what do you mean, you're not distracted. But I think it goes back to what you're saying before, about having like three or four priorities in life, and knowing exactly what you need to do. And then you have the space to be present with that AMRAP mentality. And you just think about, okay, what do I need to do to get better? Like, is that is that simply?

Jason Khalipa 38:11

That's it? Yeah. I mean, if there's one thing I've learned in business, you know, we've, we've expanded globally, we've done a lot of stuff. And I wish I would have said no more often I would have just been focused more often. And you focus you to be successful. I think if you're distracted, you're not. And I wish we did less and did it better. And I think just the family, it's like, dudes do less like just be just be there be present, you know, like, you know that this whole fatherhood thing, it's so funny, because people, they make it so complicated. But in reality, if you show up your kids, I really believe if you show up and they know that you care, right? Like we say, the sign of a good coach at our gym. No one cares what you know, until they know how much you care. I feel like that's the same way that the kids, like if you're there every day, and you're focused on them, and you're present, and you're trying the best you can. I think, ultimately I think you're going to be doing, you're going to be doing okay, you know, but if you're not there, that's, you know, that's obviously something you got to work on.

Curt Storring 39:09

Yeah, and that's one of the things I've noticed over the last few months working with my clients. I've got guys who, you know, mostly entrepreneurial types, they've had success in the market and other trying to make as successful family as they have a business. And we get through three or four weeks. And I'm like, Hey, you guys are doing all the things like you've, you've sorted out all those problems, like, yeah, and I'm kind of like, okay, I think you're good, man. Like, just keep doing the basics. And it's way less complicated than guys come in thinking. If you're showing up if you're spending some one on one time, if you're having intentional check ins, like you want to check in with yourself, just making sure you're on track. I do that with my wife every week. I do that with my kids every week. And actually that brings to mind how you do this with your wife because 14 years old to now man like That's incredible. A relationship that long, like Rios dating the whole time. What does that look like? And how are you now still dialed in?

Jason Khalipa 39:54

Yes, we met at 14 married at 20 Two kids at 2320 fours and like that, I think, and here we are, right. So, yeah, um, I think you don't try to have adult conversations when they're warranted, but also just being teenagers again, when it's warranted, I think makes total sense. Last time, we were at a wedding, so fun, you know, like, life, life will come and it will kick you in the nuts. And I think that when you have a good relationship, you can have those like, really, like open and honest conversations about the struggles you're having. But I also think you have to blend that with just like just going out and just having fun, you know, and, and just dating, again, I think is really important to us. So we try and keep date night, once a week. You know, it's interesting. This is something that I, at the time when I received this information, it wasn't very appealing to me. When Ava was diagnosed, the night she was diagnosed, we were in the emergency room. And this nurse came up to my wife and I and she's like, Hey, I've seen a lot of stories in this in this hospital. And I recommend you guys to keep a date night, and that she has left. And at first ash and I like what the like, that's not cool. Like, because it kind of feel like a bad omen, right? Because at that point, we didn't know what's going on, we just were going to er, because of a whole slew of stuff had gone down. But anyways, we're in the R, but there was no definitive answer that it was leukemia, cancer, it was just like, kind of, we're figuring it out. But she knew this woman know, she knew she knew. And that information really turned out to be really helpful. Because from that day on, we tried to do the best we could to have weekly date nights, especially when we're in the hospital, we would go and we're fortunate to have family around, you know, my mother in law, or my mom would come and watch Eva, or be there to support or whatever. And we, you know, walk 20 minutes away. And you know, at times have more drinks we probably should have, right. But we had, we had that moment where we get his date and have a if we needed to adult conversations that were really heavy, or be just go on to have a good time just just, you know, bring the positive energy and then go back into the hospital. And those date nights were really helpful them and I think they were more helpful, or just as helpful now, where we allocate time weekly, just go out and just go, you know, talk about stuff. And and if we talk about the kids and like where things are at great. If we just talk about just fun stuff. I think that's just as important. So that's what we do. And I think it's been really helpful. And I think that inspiration came from a lady at the hospital. And I'm actually grateful for that feedback at the hospital. I do think it made a big difference for us.

Curt Storring 42:33

Yeah, man, that's so good. And I, I've noticed that as well, in just starting to like date my wife more, because I struggle with this for a long time. I was like, Well, I know, we got so many kids, we got work, we got all this kind of stuff, we'll do it, you know, a couple times a year, I think that's kind of good. But the more we've done it, the more easy it is to just stay on the same page. And so there are no risks. And like one of the things that I like to do in my relationship, I try to make sure that we're like this, like I'm putting my hands together if you're listening all the time. And when there's a rift, there's like someone said something expectations wrong, we start to diverge a little bit, I want to get back to touching immediately. I don't want any space to come up because that's where resentment builds in. Yeah. And that's where things start to really go off track, but just build it in. That's what we do weekly dates, like with the whole family. That's why we do weekly meetings together so that every single week not a week goes by without someone going, what did you want more of this week? What went wrong? How can we go better? And it's like, oh, actually, I feel heard right. Now, here's what I want more of here's what I felt. There's literally no space in a relationship like that for anything to boil up. That's significant that get in the way. And having those weekly data, it's especially man during the hard part. Incredible. I don't know if enough guys are doing that.

Jason Khalipa 43:43

Yeah, I mean, for us, we're not as like super structured about it in terms of like, we don't involve anybody else. It's just like, we make it a effort to go out. And even if we go grab a glass of wine or whatever, we just make an effort to go do that. And I know it goes a long way for her. I know those long way for me. And that inspiration really, like I said, came in the hospital. And when you are going through tough times, I think connecting and getting outside of that, that so if you're late, let's just say you're having a tough relationship with your kids and struggles there. If you and your significant other, you know, leave the house and kind of like create like a separate space, then you can also have just really good conversation like, Hey, what are you seeing with John? Oh, I'm seeing this. Okay, how do you want to handle it? But you know, sometimes when you're just in the house all the time, you can have those kinds of conversations when your kids around, it's just not appropriate. So I think that's another example of something you could do when you leave, or even walk.

Curt Storring 44:34

Yeah, exactly. Even walks Exactly. It's so simple around here. And if your kids get a little bit older, and they can be at home, whatever, like I'm minor 972 now, so we're not quite there, but I know the oldest one is just about ready to start doing the babysitting duties. But anyway, man, I'm curious about parenting as well. And I don't know if he talked about this all that often, but like what are some of the principles beyond effort over everything? What are some of the things that you're sort of hoping to instill in your kids As a father, I mean, you said show up. You said effort over everything. Are there other things that guide you? Or is it just kind of like, Man, I'm in here and I'm present. And that's, that's all I need.

Jason Khalipa 45:09

Oh, man, I think if you're in there, you're present and you try and be a good human. I think that ultimately, that's the best you could do, right? Like, use one to the best you can. But obviously, it goes out saying, like, we want to raise the kids, like, my goal would one day. And you know, I think so far we're doing okay, is, you know, I want people to be like, hey, like, like, 10 years from now, I would love for someone to be like, Hey, your son. He embodies like, the male characteristics of making him like a warrior. Like he can defend himself. He's competent. But he's also the most loving, caring, gentle human I've ever met. And that's what I want my son to be, I want him to be the guy who can defend himself and defend others. I want him to be that warrior mindset where he knows how to use, you know, firearms weapons himself, I'm okay with that. I want him to have those skill sets. And then at the same time, just as importantly, never obviously, intentionally use those skills. And instead be the guy who people are like, wow, like, Oh, my, oh, my daughter to date that guy, you know, because he's just so kind, opens the door, and is gentle and loving, and is shows empathy. And doesn't, you know, I think that this modern era gentleman, I think could be that could be that blend where it's okay, you know, my dad came from Iran. And I was raised a certain way. I think that coming from Iran, a male, you know, it's more like, you know, you have a certain stigma to it, whatever that may be in your eyes. I think for me, it's like, how do you bridge the gap of being a masculine guy, while at the same time, like, it's okay to cry and love and care and, and be that person, right. But at the same but but also concurrently, is is a badass, like, you don't I mean, so it's like, that's what I want for him, right. And for my daughter, you know, I want the same thing for her, I want her to be extremely competent, to be self reliant, to be independent to be, you know, her own warrior type, whatever that is, and obviously, will defend herself at the same time, to be extremely loving and be able to take on love. And I think that those are skill sets that I want to instill in the children, where I want them to be tough enough to take life's challenges, but open minded and open enough to love and give love. I think that's important, too.

Curt Storring 47:31

Man. Exactly. I couldn't have said it better. That's exactly my mentality for this whole project for my whole life, for my kids is to be harder to kill and easier to love. Yeah. And I think that as dads, as long as you put those things in, you sit in this middle discernment, where you know what it's like to be hard to kill where you know, you're a warrior and badass, but you also know that you come home and you are the most gentle, loving, compassionate person. And I think masculinity man is like sitting in the confines of that center balance between the two and having the discernment to know, when do you deploy either Yeah, so that you're not going off on the family with your warrior. And so you're not being some weakling in you know, devastating situations when people relying on you. It's that center point between being hard to kill and easy to love. And, man, I'm like, all these things you're saying about your son, I want all of these things for my sons to and one of the things that's come up recently is like, I don't know how to do a lot of this stuff. Yeah, I know how to do a lot. But I like my buddy has taken us hunting in a couple weeks as I've never gone before. I'm taking my oldest, I got some firearms because I need to learn how to train in them because I want my kids to be proficient but I don't know what I'm doing. Where are you going to find other ways for your kids to learn these things? Assuming that you just don't inherently know them all? Yes, I

Jason Khalipa 48:39

mean, I would, I would consider myself a subject material expert when it comes to the business side of fitness and fitness. Right. So in those realms, I will take on that scope, right? For jujitsu, MMA, I would say I have enough skills at this point, because of my background to continue to train them for the next while at some point, you know, potentially they might outdo my my skill set. But right now, so the way it works at our house Is I train the kids in self defense at least once a week. And that could be hand to hand combat with you know, traditional Muay Thai or grappling arts, Jujitsu basic fundamental wrestling, um, because of my background, I feel like I have enough skill set at this point today. What I liked going to be around other kids and do with other kids. Yes, we just we haven't broken that barrier yet. So for now, I'll continue to work with both my children on the self defense side and the fitness side. In regards to firearms. I think that learning how to utilize a firearm is a really important skill set. And especially if your children have a big interest in it. My son has a huge interest in firearms hunting and understand where his food comes from huge he's very interested in it. He watches that show meet your all the time. And so for me I had to go outsource, I am not a subject matter expert at all. And so we've been taking him for the last couple years to a local police department to learn how to shoot. So he's gone. And he's he's became relatively proficient with firearms, through working with a local police department and training with them on a regular basis. I've turned that over to them, because they're the experts, not me. That was one thing. And I understand that because of my network in my background, I had those resources. But I'm sure that there's other resources for dads who don't have the skills like I didn't. This is this is what I did years ago. In regards to the hunting, it's the same thing, right? I took my son one time. And we learned a lot we took, we went with an expert, and we're going again, actually in Texas with an expert, who is going to take us through the whole process. And that's what he wants to see. And that's what I want to teach him, but I can't teach him. So I found an expert, and I'm taking him to him.

Curt Storring 50:58

Yeah, and I think the the macro lesson here is that dudes find experts, and get them around your kids and other men, I think, in a lot of cases is the best way to go here. Because I want my son's to know that they can trust other men. And I want them to learn, I want them to know how to trust and who to trust, so that they can go through because I was like lone wolf in it for so long. But then I realized that lone wolves don't raise cubs. And I want my kids to be around good groups of men and to know where to go to learn so that they are aware of their own humility. And there are limits. And that's like when I did like, I think, I don't know, two months of jujitsu this point, and then everything shut down. And here in Canada, things are just opening up. So when I was doing jujitsu was like, Dude, I finally know where my limits are, like, I'll get my ass kicked all the time. And it's so good, because I didn't know positively or negatively where my limits are. And I think learning with other men like this is another way to do it. Because they're going to be experts, and they're going to kick your ass and like the basics, right? So yeah, go.

Jason Khalipa 51:59

No, I was just gonna say, I mean, if you're a dad out there and you you jujitsu for dads is like, it's it's a no brainer. I mean, it's it's literally a no brainer, I think. I mean, if you're not walking, that's probably your first step. But after that, you know, jujitsu is an incredible art. And I think it teaches a lot of humility. And I think it allows us to, you know, all this is from me speaking on from my son, this is not everybody, my son, I could already see is very masculine in nature, he has a lot of male testosterone. And I believe that unless I teach him how to channel that effectively, that is where I think issues start to arise. And so by having him exposed in jujitsu on a regular basis, by having him exposed to these martial arts, he comes out more calm, more cool, more collected more low key, instead of just having these natural instincts that just get pent up, and he doesn't know how to properly release, and then bad stuff happens. And I find that if you have a son, who you see these tendencies in dude, find a martial arts find a fitness program, because I'm telling you, you can just see a difference. I mean, for me, in particular, I see a difference. You know, I have very similar tendencies. But after I'm done doing jujitsu, I don't want to go fight anybody. I just want to go laid out, you know, and, and I think that's, that's the real art there is, is how do you channel this natural male and this also rolls with women as well. There's plenty of women who have similar tendencies. And I think just finding opportunities to successfully release diving is really important.

Curt Storring 53:40

Yeah, we just got the kids into jujitsu, like two months ago, they just got the first strike to their day. They're so pumped, man. And it's the same sort of thing. Like, there's just confidence. I see in the way they move. They're like, Oh, now I know. If I do this, I'll get tapped. But I also know that I'm good at this particular thing and that balance between confidence and humility. I don't know if there's anything better in terms of like raising a boy up at least with that kind of like grounded knowledge we've just been talking about so yeah, highly, highly recommended. Oh,

Jason Khalipa 54:07

yeah. Agreement full.

Curt Storring 54:11

Yeah, you're a purple belt. Right? That's amazing.

Jason Khalipa 54:13

Yeah, I'm getting close to that. That Brown. I am pretty close. I've been nice for a little while.

Curt Storring 54:19

Okay. All right, man. Well, I think we're just one at a time here. Where can people find you if they want to follow you? I know you got two podcasts you got Instagram you got a gym?

Jason Khalipa 54:28

Yeah, we got you know gyms if you live in the Bay Area in particular if you were looking for a partner gym you can go to NC dot fit you can go to add Jason Khalipa on social media and then we have the effort over everything channel every Monday I throw out these copper clip as they're just like as fun shorefront podcast yes go check those out as well.

Curt Storring 54:44

Yeah, that's where I saw the mantra the move fast Bri slow thing of a sweet okay man. Well I really appreciate this I really enjoy getting to know you and just hearing that effort over everything man like that's stuck in my head since I first saw it. And I'm super pumped up Matt put us together because man This has been so good. So thank you very much, guys. All those Things will be all those links will be on the show notes Dad.Work slash podcast, make sure you subscribe and review if you're listening on Apple. And Jason man, thank you again, brother. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the dad work podcast. That's it for this episode. But if you would like to stay in touch between the weekly episodes, why don't you go over to Instagram and follow me there because I draw up a number of things throughout the week that are related to what we talked about on this podcast, but usually go a little bit deeper, provide some tips you can find me on Instagram at dad work dot Kurt. That's da di W O RK dot c u r t. And please, if you have been getting something out of this podcast, if it has touched you if it has improved your marriage or parenting or your life, would you please leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify. leave a rating. If you have a few extra seconds, leave a quick review. That's the best way that we can get this work in the hands of more fathers. And I truly believe that we change the world, one father at a time because each father that parents better that loves better raises children who do the same. And in just a couple of generations. I feel like we could be living in a world much better than the one we live in today. Your review will help along that path. And I thank you so much for being here to listen until next week. We'll see you then.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai