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Today’s guest is Keith Yackey.

We go deep today talking about:

  • How to have more sex with your wife, and why it’s so much more important than just getting your physical desires met
  • Why extreme ownership and taking full responsibility for yourself in your marriage is the key to success
  • Trust and integrity as the baseline for intimacy
  • Keith’s 5 dials that lead to an unreasonably good marriage

Keith Yackey is the founder and creator of MarriedGame.com. When his wife left him 5 years ago he realized that he was the problem and that his wife was no longer attracted to him. Since getting her back, Keith has dedicated his life to teaching men how to get their wives to want to have sex with them again. By doing one simple thing, becoming the most attractive version of themselves.

Find Keith online at:

Website: keithyackey.com

Instagram: @keithyackey

Youtube: @marriedgame

Resources mentioned:

Married Game website
Married Game Podcast

Unknown Speaker 0:00

If you are the foundation of your family, you are the firm footing. They build their lives on. You carry a glorious burden and you never dream of laying it down. You carry it with joy and gratitude. You show up, even when you don't feel like it. You lead, serve, love and protect. You are a father. This is the dead word podcast where men are forged into elite husbands and fathers by learning what it takes to become harder to kill, easier to love and equipped to lead. Get ready to start building the only legacy that truly matters. Your family

Curt Storring 0:59

Welcome to the Dad.Work podcast. This is Curt Storring, your host and the founder of dad work and guys, I am joined today by Keith Yackey. I have seen this guy stuff over the last couple of months. I'm like man, he is saying exactly what the men need to hear to have elite marriages end have a lot more and better sex because guys, as he says in this episode, sex should get better the longer you're married your spouse not worse, and this can actually happen. It is not a fairy tale. And I'm here to tell you this episode is going to give you exactly how to do that and how to make this reality in your life. We go deep today talking about how to have more sex with your wife and why it's actually so much more important than just getting your physical desires met. Why Extreme Ownership and taking full responsibility for yourself in your marriage is the key to success, trust and integrity as the baseline for intimacy and keeps five dials that lead to an unreasonably good marriage. Keith yaki is the founder and creator of married game.com When his wife left and five years ago, he realized that he was the problem and that his wife was no longer attracted to him. Since getting your back, Keith has dedicated his life to teaching men how to get their wives to want to have sex with them again, by doing one simple thing becoming the most attractive version of themselves. Guys, you can find Keith at married game.com or his website, Keith yackey.com. If you want to learn more. And guys, this is really cool because Keith actually talks about a lot of the same stuff that we go over on this podcast, in our programs, all that kind of stuff. And he has such a simple way of breaking this all down that it makes so much sense the way he puts it. So I was very excited to get him on here. Because we had an excellent conversation. A couple episodes ago I had an interview with Scott Ramage, the golden key to a better sex life in marriage, guys, you're gonna want to put that one on top of this one, listen to both together. And if you take action, and do what these two episodes tell you, there is no way you can fail takes a lot of responsibility. It takes a lot of looking yourself in the mirror. It takes a lot of showing up for other people and serving sacrificially and selflessly and knowing exactly who you are in the process and being a giver, not a taker, but guys, this stuff works. I know a lot of guys out there struggle with this. And I think it's just the way it is. Marriage goes on, intimacy goes down, and you start to build resentment and things get worse and worse and worse. And finally, you are just in a completely Loveless, sexless marriage. That is not cool. That's not the way it has to go. So listen up to this episode. Listen to Episode 126 with Scott Ramage. And guys, you can't miss. So this is exciting. It's gonna be a great episode. So we're gonna jump right into it. Enjoy this episode with Keith Yackey. All right, alright, guys, we're back here for another episode of the downward podcast and today, man, you're not gonna want to miss this one. Because this is what so many guys, talk to me about they talk to you about this too, Keith, I'm sure because this way you do. And the question that we're gonna be answering is, how do you have more sex with your wife? Yeah, in marriage? Why is that? So bloody important. So thanks for coming on, man. I'm pumped. This is good stuff. And like, why is this your thing? Let's just start there. And then we're gonna get into like everything else that goes along with this. You know?

Keith Yackey 3:44

Okay, first of all, it's an honor to be here. Kurt. I love your stuff. I love the way you articulate things. It's very similar. Like we have a very similar philosophy, although we articulated a little bit differently. I was just telling my wife, I'm like, Hey, I'm gonna be on this podcast today. And I said, this guy has a lot of similar sentiments that we do by city. He's really eloquent. And my wife's like, Oh, I love it. I love it when people can like articulate stuff in a manner that is like anybody goes, he's got a point. And so that's the goal of anything I always do is like, how do I break it down to its most simplest basic blocks where, where the 13 year old, the 13 year old and each of us goes? He's right. He Yeah, he's right. So how did I get here? Well, five and a half years ago, almost six years ago, my wife left me and I had experienced probably a lot a lot what a lot of guys did, she wasn't really initiating sex in the relationship at that point in time. She wasn't really enthusiastically participating in the sex and I frankly, thought she was more into the spreadsheets than she was the bedsheets meaning I just felt kind of like a paycheck. And it was all of my own doing. And so I got back from a retreat we were about ready to move into our dream house, and she says, I'm going to help you move in but I I'm not staying. And that was really when I was just like, oh shit. I did this again, because I had already been married in divorce before with three other kids, because I'd been down that road. And I was like, I didn't even see the signs this time. And I was just like, Okay. I'm the problem here. I'm the issue here. And it was as if a light bulb went on in my brain, that it like, became clear that I can yell about all the dirty laundry in a dark room. But as soon as the light turns on, and I realize it's all my dirty laundry, I need to own up to that, and I need to take responsibility for that. So that was the genesis of me saying, Okay, I'm the problem. In my relationship. There's girl number two. And it wasn't like these only two girls, I knew I had had sex with hundreds of women before I met my second wife. And I had been through all of that it was more like I was seeking and searching for connection. And the way I say it now is and I still feel the same way. And I think a lot of guys do is, you know, I was just, I just wanted to be loved. And I wanted to just be I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to be wanted, and I didn't feel that but it was all of my own doing. So I thought, Okay, I need to work on me. Because the truth of the matter is, I could go get another girl. And I'm still bringing the exact same problem, my last relationship and the new one. And the problem is me, which also stirred off the will do to find the problem. I'm the solution. Bingo. Okay, so that's what got me into it and how I we developed married game and how, you know, the main cave in the podcast and all that. That was, that's a, that's a different story. But this is how I got into this. Hey, how did I even come here to experience all of this to even have the ground to step up and go, Hey, by the way, if you struggle with this, let me show you the solution. I've been through all this problems, and they were all ones that brought on myself.

Curt Storring 6:52

I love that we're all about 100% responsibility, Extreme Ownership. And like you said, it's actually a very hopeful message because you get to do something about it. Yeah. And I know, so many of my posts, somebody that guys I talked to on calls, they're like, oh, yeah, but you don't understand, like, my wife is blah, blah, blah. Do you want to just touch on excuses and blame where guys are like, Well, I just can't do anything. Because I think that's BS. And I wonder what you think, dude, I

Keith Yackey 7:14

100% believe you and it's, I think it's because people are looking at the wrong standard. And I do this I have, I have monthly meetings out here in the man cave with a group of guys that hang out with me. And, and every time we open up I go, Okay, how many of you guys honestly feel like 90 95% of people you interact with on a daily basis are not really that awake? And every hand goes up? And then they all go You mean like 99%? I'm like, Yeah, okay. Well, almost every standard, everything that's ever been told to the public applies to that 95 to 99% of people that you and I would look up and go, they're asleep. They're not even awake, they don't even care about their dreams and their goals they get, they don't give a shit about discipline, like they don't care. They're just letting the world act upon them. And so for me, when I say, hey, let's look at our standards differently. I just think that my standard has become, and I've lived it in my life. And that is, sex should get better, the longer you're married to your spouse. That's something I believe, and I'm living out and I'm watching the hundreds of guys that I've coached, they're living it out. So whereas it was, it was just a different standard. I think the standard in relationship should be the husband and wife telling each other what their fantasies are, so they can help fulfill them. Because if you're not telling your spouse, or your fantasy, who are you telling? You're going to mean? So. So these are standards that I go, Hey, as a dad, for me to be a dad, for me to get my point to know I was a good dad that I have to spend a minimum of 30 minutes alone with my daughter, one on one talking, listening, watching being absolutely involved in her life. Well, dude, as you'd probably know this statistic better than I am because of the work you do. But I think what may be there, I think they said that a parent's dad spends time just time alone with their kid. I want to say it was like maybe 20 minutes a week. It was really low unless I heard it was like 26 minutes, okay. 26 was a week and I'm like, Well, dude, that's for normal people. I don't want to be normal. I don't want to live a normal life. I don't want to I don't want I don't want anybody to look at me and go there as a normal man. I want them to be like, there's a normal man that decided to get disciplined and understand how this thing works. And he became abnormal. He became extra ordinary, he did things and it's because we are normal. But I just look at the standard and go hey, listen, I don't like the narrative. The narrative is that everybody's getting divorced and the people that aren't getting divorced are kind of wishing they were getting divorced. Well, what the hell is up with that? So I just went to work on myself and go Alright, here's the new standard. If My wife is this bad? Can I really say that I'm that great. And what I've discovered is that a man who really steps into what we call the dials with a lot of I mean, his his truest, fullest, striving for his potential self. I've seen a string of wives following men like that, that say, Man, I feel so loved by you, how do I make you feel so loved? I'll go down any path of pleasure you want to go to because I trust you so much, that you'll never lead me astray. In fact, everything you've introduced me to has made me giggle with glee. So bring me more what if that was the standard? That's how I shifted for guys and just say, your standards low. First, personally, and then what you even expect from a marriage is pretty low. And then what you put into getting whatever you expect it that effort is actually even lower. So I just to me, I don't know, man, maybe the math just added up. And I thought, here's, let's look at the math.

Curt Storring 10:56

Yeah, no, that's exactly right, man. And I love what you said in the end there, that trust piece. I want to dive into that in a little bit. But But man, like I think that I just want to like underscore what you said, is it sexual get better. And I was of the same mind, like the normal mind, so to speak. And I also went through that understanding of like, I heard it said the other day on a podcast, the guy was like, Well, if I want unreasonable results, I need to do unreasonable things. And like, why wouldn't you want to as a dad, as a husband? As a man, you're good with average? Like, oh, yeah, gross. I want to be way more than average. I want because not only for me, like I want to get life, but my wife did. She gave me her life. Yeah. And I'm gonna be like, oh, yeah, now you get an average life like no way. Same with my kids, I have to do more. And it's like looking yourself in the mirror and understanding the power you have. I say this sometimes guys look, oh, power, like, Well, yeah, but it's power to influence. Yeah, no power over, but his power to influence. So you want to just maybe touch on that? Like how, man, there's so much of this, right? Because it's like, how do you do it? How do you have good sex? But it's like, there's so much more fundamentals. Yeah. But when it comes to like, doing the thing that I don't know, brings her trust, intimacy, all that kind of stuff. What are some of these things that you are seeing actually work? To bring that connection for the wife to be like, I am all in on you. Because you're so all in on me?

Keith Yackey 12:15

Yeah, yeah. The couple of things. And first of all, you're right. This is it's such an exciting topic that it's almost like we can't even get all the words out at once, like, but we want to because I feel the same energy from you that I have. And that's like, man, if guys just understood this, that their life would be set free. And even the thing that said, what if this is the new standard, there's still guys probably thinking wait a second does, he talked about his fantasies with his wife, like the thought that that would even be a reality is is so foreign to so many men because of one thing, they have not become such an attractive human being that they know literally, they could get whoever they wanted. Now, I speak that as a guy that was a total player before I met my second wife, I got divorced from my first wife. I got married super young, I realized I made some mistakes and how I made that decision. And I said, You know what, forget it. I'm gonna go hog wild. I was living in Vegas making a bunch of dough having the time of my life. And it put into my brain that I know I can attract the most attractive female on planet earth. The problem with short term attraction is it doesn't it doesn't actually translate to long term attraction. And so when I use the same techniques, or become the same person or my tricks were up, so to speak with my first might with my wife now, she's just like, okay, cool. Yeah, that's awesome. Now what? And so I started having a look at it from short term attraction to long term attraction, and started going, Okay, what's really going on here? Well, first of all, the word attraction means people are pulled in, they're leaning into you. A lot of times when I say the word attraction, guys, like Yeah, I know, I can lose some weight. Okay, that's a piece of it, a visual piece of it. But there's an energetic piece that I always tell people nobody's ever mistaken me for Brad Pitt, but we've slept with a lot of the same women. And so the reason for that is simply because of my personality, my ability to have fun in the moment my ability to give a compliment with somebody without feeling like it diminishes me my ability to make everything kind of a no big deal my ability to say I love me if you don't love me, you missing out on the greatest stock pic of all time, like these types of mentality. So there's a perspective a that if I'm going to do anything, I believe this about business to anybody that wants to do business with these because they want to do it. They will never feel strong arm pressured or cajoled into it. Because why would I want that I want to be wanted in my marriage. I want to be one into my business relationships. I want to be wanted by my clients. I have to become something that's so Wantable that anybody would be like, You know what, I gotta cancel that plan because I just got invited by Keith to go here. What if that was the standard? So first of all, these are just the mindsets of what I go go through. And a lot of people will see like who some of my best friends are. And like, I can't believe you're best friends with that guy said, no, no, you should go be telling him you can't believe he's best friends with me. Because you never met a better friend than me, ever. And so these are like things that I am intentional about and be I'm not distracted by football. I'm not distracted by Miss America. I'm not distracted by I'm not distracted by anything out there. That doesn't affect me or man, I honestly don't care about shit. give a shit what's going on Ukraine and Russia. I don't give a shit about any of that I care about what's my wife think about me. Am I the guy that she would just say, I'm so honored to be with him. So it's like these mentalities first and foremost, and then I can get us some tactics. But is there anything you want to add? I know, I just gave a lot. There's anything you want to say.

Curt Storring 15:43

That's perfect. One of the notes I had was the question you ask, which is like, basically, would you sleep with you? Right? And that's becoming that man is becoming a man everywhere. And if you look in the mirror, and you're like, Well, I'm okay. But like, she should still want it like, Dude, what are you talking about? Are you a cat to her when she looks at you? Like all of the things like you said, the fitness piece is a part of it. But I love the mindset things too. Like if you it's expectations. And this is what I see. We talked about, I talked to my wife about this all the time, like, people walk across the road, wearing pajamas. Like, are you kidding me? My kids, we pulled them out of school, and they're homeschooling now, but before, they're like, Dad, I'm the only kid in class who wears jeans. And I was like, what do you what do you mean? Are they wearing slacks? They're like, No, everyone's wearing pajamas. Like, are you kidding me? And so we have high standards, because we expect more because we can see the potential. And we need to apply that to ourselves, I would say as well. So anyway, there's a key to

Keith Yackey 16:38

personal power. There isn't the most attractive person in the world does not need you. It's why you're so damn attracted to him.

Curt Storring 16:48

Oh, dude, okay, let me get let me jump into this. I was gonna ask this later. But I have to go here now, because of what you just said. I tell my guys to serve and love their wives and then to drop expectations. Okay, because a lot of guys, and I'm sure you say they're like, I'm sure you see it, they go do something for the wife. And they're like, and where's this X? Yeah, like, I did this for you, you therefore owe me and that transactional nature is it just doesn't work. And then there's resentment. We both hate each other. There's this huge gap and then get divorced. I tell them do the thing. Because you're a good husband. And good husbands love and serve their wives. Yeah, end of story. No expectations. You can express your desires, you should be communicating. And I think that's a huge part of it. Maybe we'll get into that later. But do you agree with this where it's like, go and serve, go in love, go and do other things. And then you'd like you said be so powerful, that you don't need anyone or anything other than yourself? And that just draws people in and then you'll get all your needs met anyway. Yeah. Oh, man. Do you agree with that?

Keith Yackey 17:44

I agree with that. 100%. And I tend to have the cliches or the sayings that you don't typically hear in church. So I'm going to add one of those here, because people don't forget it. And it's simply this man. Her response does not dictate my standard. Her response only dictates how long I will put up with being with her while she lives below my standard and what I mean by that first of all that the frame switches I'm no longer the interviewee hoping to get the job I'm the interviewer that gives the job. You've got to feel like a boss to be able to feel that when you've got to say like, I truly believe Jesse's the luckiest one on planet Earth to get me as a husband and I think I'm the luckiest man on earth to have her as a wife but but that only because from both of us are so deep in set and becoming the best version of ourself that our standards are very high and whenever I'm pissed at Jessie I noticed it because I've dropped below a standard she's set for me that I agreed that I would rise to and that's what I'm usually like, oh you're so hard on me and she's like really? I'm just fucking This is the standard you live at this standard here why don't leave it in here. So first and foremost, that energy of her response does not dictate my standard any woman on planet earth that gets to be with me we'll have a guy that will take out the trash why? Because it's my fucking trash. That's my standard I don't look for her to have sex with me and then I don't need sex from my wife I don't care about it I don't do anything for it except be the most attractive version of me and so therefore she like is like all over me like white on rice. And it's simply because this is the standard so often guy times first of all you said something about I'm a catch we have a phrase and marry game. We call it we we say to ourselves all the time I'm the catcher the county I'm the catcher the county which means if I if for some reason my wife died or she slipped on you know, in the morning, bumped her head and decided I don't want to be Mrs. Yak anymore. I know that there's 100 women that would be knocking on the door not because they reached out to me but because I understand this game well enough. And go hey, listen, I'm the catcher, the county. I'm the catcher the county I'm also a lover, a leader and a lighthouse. That's another mantra that we say all the time. Hey, I'm a lover. I'm a leader. I'm a lighthouse. A lover doesn't get to say he's a lover unless he loves somebody. The way they Want to be loved? So that's again, standard. There's the golden rule that says, Do unto others as you want done unto you. The platinum rule that I've created is Do unto others as they want done unto them. So figure out what the fuck gets them excited, and then go do that, because that's how they are hearing you say, I love you. So, listen, this is what I tell all the guys and this one, I deeply believe, I'm going to be the best version of me. And for whatever reason, and this happens, every once in a while, a woman will not rise with the guy, a woman will not set her standards higher, a woman will basically say, I don't like this new, like a better version of you. That's when a guy when he feels his true power will say, okay, will I let this lady ride shotgun with me the rest of my life? If she literally doesn't even like me, what man would want to put himself through that. So that's where we come to that agreement where I go, Listen, if I need nothing, then I don't even need Jesse to love me. Jesse could wake up and say, I hate guys with white hair. And I'd be like, well, that's what this is natural baby like, this is all natural. And she's like, I just can't do white hair anymore. Like, Well, if that's why you want to leave me then I got white hair is who I am. Do you see, but that is true power, which makes somebody go, I would never want to leave a guy like that. It's always opposite. Everything I teach is counterintuitive, probably the same way you do. But it's always pin principle based, do this, because this is what the best version of you would do. Regardless if you're getting sex or not.

Curt Storring 21:39

Man, and it's paradoxical to right, because as soon as you no longer need anything, you get so much more, so much like you get so much more man. There's two things that came up in that before we want to get into the dials here. Number one, with having high standards, how are you communicating this within the marriage? Is this something you sit down? You're like, hey, I want you to hit X, Y and Zed? Or is it just like, I show up? And I am absolutely 100% in all areas. Therefore I just naturally like you can understand that I expect this? Or what does that conversation piece look like? So everyone knows that they're on the same page?

Keith Yackey 22:09

Okay, normally, it's the guy that has slipped from a standard that was previously agreed to right. So when when my wife left, I realized she was no longer attracted to me, meaning she was no longer being pulled into me, she was being repelled by who I am and how I acted. So this usually guys are slipping from a standard that they know they should be at. That's, that's what I've typically found. But what we also say is when guys work with me, we have a 90 day program, they work when they don't even they're not even allowed to talk about their wife, like we are going to talk about her. But it's never she's this and she said that she's not like we're going to clean your streets so clean that anybody would want to eat off of your clean street. So but he sets his own standard, and doesn't even mention it to anybody else. And what happens in that is where the wife goes, Wow, he really does live by this standard. And it's not for me, because I deal with a lot of guys that are trying to get their wives back as well. That's kind of actually how I started before I even started married game was helping guys get their ex back. And then it bled into guys that are just she hasn't gone and I haven't gone. But man, we haven't touched each other in a while. Do you? Can you help me get that back? I'm like, Yeah, I can help you get that back. So what a lot of times we would do is teach the guy and basically be like, Dude, you have to live by this standard. And you actually got to do what you say you're going to do because the women are watching and they're like, Is he really going to actually do this and a lot of women will say, Whatever you do, don't change for me. Don't change for me. And a lot of husbands are like, Well, why wouldn't I want I am going to change your my world. You're my everything. And so yeah, that's what a week pushy would say. Because if I don't give you my love, your life is going to end how weak Are you? And then intuitively they know this is a man that's so validation seeking that he can no longer stand on his own opinion, which means he will be swayed and our resources will be taken. And I'm going to be having these three kids with another kid to watch. So there's so much sub lever like love sub level psychology that goes into it. But yeah, I agree with those statements. emphatically

Curt Storring 24:13

man that just brought up something that i i suggest to guys is like when you can stand up to her, you can stand up for her. And that's like such a big thing for a lot of guys to understand is they lose the identity like you just said, and they become the whole happy wife. Happy Life puppy dog. Yeah, it's like oh, if only she'll like what I do. It's like no, dude, she wants you to lead she doesn't want to be the mission was to have you diminish you to have a mission that she can follow. Because she's like, totally trusting of that. And you as a man and the last thing want to touch on before we get into dials because I think it's really important. You mentioned in the lover. It's like loving someone how they want to be loved. And usually I hear guys mentioned like love languages in this case. Yeah. Is that what you're talking about? Or how do you find out how your wife wants to love because I know for me, it's like oh do acts of service. You serve me I am feeling so So we loved, and yet my wife's not like that at all. And so I figured out that she wants to spend time with me. She wants to feel safe. She wants to be like emotionally connected. What do you mean by finding out what they actually feel love with?

Keith Yackey 25:11

Yeah, I think the love language is is the best, somebody the best like framework, somebody's put together to explain, hey, this person feels love when you do this, they don't feel loved when you do that. And I found that to that book to be very true, what I've noticed is that most guys go in with the intention of okay, I'm gonna love her. But still, with that taker energy, if I do this, I need her to do this. And that really is the crux of everything we're talking about is if any of these modalities and all these books have very salient points, and women are from men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, The Five Love Languages, my dials, your dials, his dials, everybody's got a thing that's going on. But the one thing that makes any of our systems, any of our philosophies, any of our actual strategies work has to be done with one simple energy. And this is the framework and the filter that you can put every framework through to say if it's real, or it's not as this, what energy does it come from? Does it come from giver energy? Or does it come from Taika energy, and a lot of people are telling teaching strategies and techniques on how to get what you want. And here, what I'm trying to say is I know every guy wants sex, and I know every guy wants to be wanted. But what very few men know is how it actually happens. Because here's what happens. This is I'm gonna rant just for a minute, but I think it'll be very insightful. And for guys to see what cuz they're like, well, this marriage coach, this mariscos, any marriage coach will work for you, if you understand this one thing. And that is, I don't do stuff to get things and take things. We have to we have seen with our eyes. In the wild, somebody might see my wife and I and a lot of guys that have hung out with us have actually joined our program and like, whatever this is, we want that and they've been some of our best clients because we genuinely are attracted to him. We genuinely like each other now we didn't you know, while ago but and but now we do. And so there's this love and take of this game and so that people see that and go, I want that. Okay, that's desirable. But they mistake how to get it. They think Keith must know the right words to get Jesse to like him. No, I don't know the right words, even though I'm well spoken. I don't always know the right words. Keith must have just pulled some movie that he learned with those other two other women to hook Jesse in. And he's got her under his spell. No, that's not true, either. It's one simple thing. It's how it naturally happens is I don't care if Jessie's into me, I want it. I desire that. But I don't need that to live my very best life. And so what guys don't understand is they've got to get to the point of not needing anybody else is pat on the head, pat on the back pat on the ass. I don't need any of that. I love who I am. And I believe I'm the catcher the county, but I'm only believed that it because we'll get through the dials because I actually show up every single day of the proof of it. And so what I've learned is that you have to become the guy that does not give a shit. And whatever you have to pay whoever you have to see you do this, because this is the actual setting free of everything. And then your wife goes, Damn, dude, I can't wait to be next to him. You can't force it. They say you can't negotiate desire. attraction isn't a choice. All that shit is really true on a cellular level. And people can read it from an energy they know when they're trying to get something from somebody. We all know it.

Curt Storring 28:46

Man, I'm so glad you said that. Because one of the things that I just sort of figured out in my head, I was like, Hey, guys, you can't nobody needs drop expectations. But then they're like, well, like what do I what I do, then I'm like, Okay, you can express your desires. Yeah, but don't have needs. And this is exactly what I just heard you say? It's like yeah, of course you desire things. You want things want a great marriage when have sex? We can't need that. Because that energy is so easy to pick up on and then you're just like, Oh man, I can't even imagine a woman thinking that that's attractive is your groveling. So I don't know, man. Like it's just no, it sounds terrible.

Keith Yackey 29:19

It's killed more lady boners than anything, man. But here's another thing to Kurt which is really interesting that I've discovered is imagine and I'd have guys think this and I want you to think this the dude, the group of dudes that's listening to this and that is imagine how powerful you'd have to become for you to feel like every time you ask your wife for sex if she said no, it didn't hurt your feelings at all. But you just realize this is not how I want the rest of my life to go so I might be with a person that just does not want to do doesn't want to play volleyball the rest of their life. We agreed to play volleyball, but she no longer likes it. I can just say all right, well, hey, I know who I am. I don't have to make it a big deal. I'll just be like, Hey, you clearly don't like the same things I like or you clearly don't even like me. The only guy that can say this is the guy that's really done the work and got to a point where he goes, Hey, I like me. Most guys coming into our program or not that way, and I'm sure they're probably not that way when they come into your program with a guy. I want to be that way so that they can have the power to say that, but that is ultimately when you really meet somebody that's a total giver. It's kind of shocking to the senses. At first, you're like, but you don't want anything? No, I don't You don't have to email for me. You don't have to put like like it's it's just I just like you and I wanted to give this to you. Wow, dude. Like, it's, it's so rare. But that is what makes it so damn attractive. People want what they can't have. And yet most guys are willing to say I'll do anything to get her back. I'll you'll do anything. I'll do anything. Just take this pain away. Well, the pain is you being an idiot, and nobody wants to be around you. And if I don't fix you, then that pain comes right back when she comes back to realize you're the same disgusting slug that she left. And now she's gone. Gone. Gone for good. That's a way different energy man.

Curt Storring 31:16

Yeah, man, the importance of identity in all of this, like cannot be understated. And that's why like, I get my guys coming in. They get the habit stack, they get community, they get coaching. But what they do is like they actually secretly and I tell them this, like way down the line. I'm like, Guys, you're figuring out who the heck you are. So that you can actually show up from a place of that grounded identity, where you actually like yourself, and you know who you are in the first place. And it's like, Oh, I thought we were doing like, yeah, you know, we're doing much deeper work than you think we're doing. Because it's so fundamental. And if you don't know who you are figured that out now, whether you gotta write about it, whether you gotta hire a coach, when you're gonna join a program, figure out who you are, and then learn to squash, the miserable, weak, lazy, pathetic, old version of you, so that you can build your ideal self, which is like, dude, the more I see, guys like you guys like Kyle, all the guys, and you know, the programs are going through, it's like, you can actually have it all. I don't know if people understand this. And that's why I love this, like mental reframe that you started us with. You can have it all, you have the body, you can have the marriage, you can have the business you can have like, every day when you wake up, contented excitement to be alive. You can do that. And so like, like you said, people don't expect that. Yeah, because nobody talks about it. Yeah. So I don't know if you want to riff on that. But otherwise,

Keith Yackey 32:26

they just say one thing. We my my nickname in my group is they call me Mufasa. Because I feel like I'm all I'm telling guys remember who you are. Because most guys when they got there when when their wife was attracted him in the beginning, it was true attraction. This is why I have 100% success rate with every guy that comes through and I'm proud of that number until I lose it. I'm fucking stating it to the world. They have close to 250 guys that make a promise you do the work and this doesn't work. I don't want your money. And I mean it. But that the reason they don't ask for one is because they were the guy that their wife wanted. They've dropped the standard in their view of who they are. So so many times, I'm just like, remember who you are. So I give him the middle name, motherfucker. You know what I mean? What's your last name? Curt? Storring? Oh, Storring. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you know, I'll be like you. Hey, you're Kurt motherfucking Storring Like reminding guys, dude, you she used to be attracted to you because there was an attractiveness in you. It's not like you were total nerd. We bait nobody wanted you. And then this lady was forced into being married to you. There was something there, man. So you're right. He has that identity waking that person back up again. And we're like, do you want to be the captain of the football team, bro. Now you are you what happened? What the fuck happened? Yeah. So

Curt Storring 33:46

and that's a hopeful message though, right? Because guys don't have to like become something that they're not. They have to find that which they just like lost in drift and inertia. And like just being a slug, basically, like you said, let's dive into these dials. Because I've heard these before. And I'm like, Man, these are so good. Like, let's let's go through what the dials are, why you come up with them? How guys can sort of implement these things and improve based on them. So I'm just gonna let you run with it.

Keith Yackey 34:10

All right, well, how I came up with them was me and my buddy Garrett J. White. We surf all the time. And as as he knew about me helping exes get their wives back and he's like, Bro, why don't you just teach dudes, I'll just teach dudes. So we're kicking the idea around and I would we'd bring up frameworks I call him the Mr. Name and frame it that guy cuz I don't know if you know, Garrett J white at all, but he's, he can come up with some names and frames pretty quickly. And I also can come up with them pretty quickly. So the two of us when we're surfing like this, so we came up with a lot of this stuff together. So that's where a lot of them came from. But I'll tell you, the dials that and when I preface the dials these these are things that you can practically do every single day to ratchet up your attraction because any dude doing these things is radically attractive to any spouse and if she was attracted in the beginning, then These will. That's the first of all, let's say understand, I want people to understand the mechanical wiring of men and women and my estimation, based off of a lot of experience, but also I've read some books that talk about it is this. If a woman is attracted to a man, if he stops doing attractive things, or he starts doing unattractive things, because you are what you do on a continual basis, then her natural attraction that bucket it just starts leaking ever so slowly, and it just starts draining, draining, draining, draining, draining, to eventually she's just like, Man, I love you. But I'm not in love with you. I don't tingle for you at all. I don't want to kiss you. I don't want to be near you. I'm embarrassed by you. Holy shit. I'd actually prefer to be with somebody else. Dammit, I gotta get rid of you. I'm gone. Okay, that's that's slow, slow, slow. But the same wiring that does that indicate happens subconsciously to her. She's just like, man, something's off. I don't know what's up with Keith. And Bumble mum, mum, mum mum. Same thing is when a man starts to do attractive things again and stops doing unattractive things. That bucket actually starts to fill back up even without her knowing subconsciously, it's filling back up. Why? Because she's attracted to a guy like you when you're your most attractive view. She's already been at so the wiring everything is built for this guy to get her to be attracted to him again. It's, it's, it's not guesswork. It's not like man, I really hope we've win this one. I know every time a guy calls me and says hey, I'm thinking this building this bah bah, bah, I'm like, you're 100% that guy that would get 100% result from 100% of this work if you do it. Why? It's like key. Do you know the alphabet? Yeah, I'm not gonna forget the alphabet. So these five dials are the simple things that if you do these every single day, that's what starting the attractive thing doing the attractive thing. So this is what dude, I'm telling you 75% of guys that we work with. And I'm sure you see something very similar. Once they came in and understand this philosophy and how to do this 75% of guys report back to me in a poll we took we between week one and week two, there was a drastic change in what was going on their marriage, and it's energetic, like something's happening. And it's because we're turning the polarity of the magnets pushing each other. We're just turning them by doing this. And then they automatically slam together. So that's the setup for the dial. So the guys understand why we broke it down like this.

Curt Storring 37:24

So far, man, yeah, let's go on to you know what, that that's so important that you said that too. Because it can be like, Look, you spent 3040 50 years doing things in your life that got you here in the first place. So it's a long ballgame. You know, you got to earn that trust back, which is that filling up the bucket. And I've seen the same thing, man, within the first week, within 11 days, I got a text from a guy the other day, he's like, I don't know how to say this. But my wife told me the other day that she wants to have another baby. And we've been having sex and like a year. I'm like, Oh, that's interesting. He's like, because she loves me so much because of how he's showing up. It's like, Dude, it just works immediately. It saves marriages. And it's not just about sex. But man, it's such a fundamental part of everything. Yeah, it will just lead to more and better marriage anyway, you know, the results. You've seen guys have a massive success. What are these dials? How do we do

Keith Yackey 38:09

it? Yeah, and I look at sex as the fruit. It's just it just the Indicative like, oh, that trees don't stick or it's not. When you start seeing apples falling off the thing. And it's just a been everywhere. Like, that's a good ass route. Dude, that tree is doing what it's supposed to be doing. But if it's not like it's the root, and it's, we got to fix that. So this is how we fix that. So the first style is the parenting dial, showing up as a good dad. And, you know, I think these are the five dials that our wives are like looking at us and saying, Is he these things? Well, dude, her life goal and mission I believe as a woman is to bear children like that's, that's their job. They don't do that we as a species no longer continue on. We want to fuck they want to have babies, while both those things are what keeps our species going. So that's why we have these deep urges for both of these things. And so what happens? Well, she goes, dude, my job is to birth this baby, raise this baby, make sure this baby goes on to be thriving and surviving. And I always say that your wife is going to love her kids more than she loves you and guys like, Oh, that's not true. It's us first. I know I get what your intention is. But I've never seen a woman divorce her kids. But I've seen a woman divorce men all the time. So we can argue with that. But that's a pretty good 100% stack like percentage like that's in our favor. So just know that she's going to think that way. And yes, I do call kids cock blocks because they are. But it doesn't mean we can't maneuver around them. And we're, they're supposed to be here. That's how we continue on. So obviously, there's a way for us to be able to do this. I always tell guys, you know where we serve there's rocks doesn't keep us from surfing. We just don't surf into them. We go around them. It's like they're here. They're not going anywhere unless any of us go and chisel that thing out. And we wouldn't do that because that's a part What it is, and so same thing with him. Are you a good dad? Are you? Do you care? Are you invested in the care of this child? And if not, and I was the world's worst my wife said, I don't even want to have another kid with you because you were such a bad dad. That's that was set against me. And it was true. So I was like, alright, well, clearly I need to work on this. And so now my wife says like do truly you are like the greatest out of my buddies all the time. Like you're such a good dad. I'm like, I realized that I'm supposed to be a good dad. That was like the worst indictment ever of being a horrible fucking dad. That's horrible. So now I a minimum, I spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day with my daughter, and how I look at parenting not everybody has to look at this way. But for me and my work. I take Monday off I work Tuesday through Friday from basically four in the morning till about five at night on my thing for those four days. And then Saturday and Sunday. I don't look at it like the weekend I look at it like it's my it's my dad, I check into my really check into my dad job. And like my tie, my family has never heard me say I'm tired for one simple reason. I would never tell you I'm tired. I would never tell my clients. I'm tired. I would never show up and go hey, this is gonna be a total c plus Podcast. I'm really exhausted. A sorry, Kurt. I'd never do that. So then why would I do that to my my family. So Saturday and Sunday is all about them. What are we doing together? What and then that Monday is my day where everybody can go fuck themselves. This is my day, I come to the my man cave or I go surf, I do whatever I want all day long. Nobody can say nothing about nothing. But I've prioritized my family and my kids specifically, because I know that hey, that's what a good dude does. So that's the first dial she's looking at. Second, I'll make them a little quicker. That one I get a little excited about because there's so many. There's so many dads that are really messing this up. And it's so easy.

Curt Storring 41:55

Oh, another thing. Same thing, man. Yeah, go ahead.

Keith Yackey 41:57

Just my favorite parenting advice I've ever given anybody was an it's the truest advice I've ever lived. And it was when I stopped asking my kids to come and do stuff with me that made me excited. And I started asking them what would make what do you want to go do that makes you excited when I switch that energy? Dude, doubting became so fun for me. I was like, Oh my God. And then I asked my daughter, I said, Hey, listen, I haven't been ate in a very long time. It's been 36 years old. It's been 36 years since I've been eight years old. And I want to help. Will you help me remember what that's like? Will you explain to me how you're feeling? And so do we went to we went to Disneyland the other day, but we did the VIP where you just cut in line to the whole thing. And I was like okay Jovi, you're at Disney. And we've done this at Magic Mountain. No, we've done this at two other places like Lego Land, and we did it at Universal Studios and Harry Potter land. But we hadn't done it at Disneyland. And I was like, Okay, we're going to Disney and you're eight years old, like what's going through your mind right now? And she goes, Oh, you want me to tell you an eight year old man like, Yes, tell me what it is. And I just get all jacked up with her like, Yeah, dude, that's right, those characters and like, maybe we're gonna see a pirate like, I'm remembering all this shit. I thought at that age. So that's my best piece of impairing advice is meet them where they want to be met. And dude, you will have way more fun anyway. Okay.

Curt Storring 43:20

That's Dude, that's so good. Let me just, Oh, I love that I'm gonna use that framework because we started so what I do is I've got weekly dates with everyone in the family and we we alternate through whatever day it's going to be. And, you know, with my wife, I'm always going to lead that's just how we need to do things as men I will you know, ask for her opinion if I want to figure out a really special thing, but I'm going to be the one who's like, we're going to date I'm picking you up. Here's where we're going. It's gonna be awesome. Yeah, with kids, same sort of thing as like, we get oh, what do you want to do? And they're like this I'm like, why like, why you owe your interest in that is amazing. And the same sort of energy minutes let them lead so that you know all the rest of this kind of stuff, but the missing piece for me you just said is like help me remember that dude, that's gonna change everything even in my life. So thank you very much for going down there. That's a great piece of parenting advice and you're still on it for sure.

Keith Yackey 44:11

I don't know what state you're in. What state are you in Canada?

Curt Storring 44:14

I'm in Canada man. I'm in BC. Okay.

Keith Yackey 44:16

If THC cannabis is legal where you're at? Try doing 10 milligrams of sativa THC. gummies wait an hour, then go hang out with your kids and I promise you will be the best dad on planet Earth. I'm actually going to write a book it says how cannabis made me the greatest ad on planet earth. Because it got me in that mindset. Again, I know we're going off topic here but I really love I love parenting and I love my daughter so much that it's so fun to talk about but we have I call it Jovian bro V bro V is Jovi's brother which is me and if so if I get if I get gum it up and I'm in the pocket like I'm in full creators pocket I'll be like, Hey, yo, she doesn't know anything about that. But I just go Hey, bro, he's ready. And she goes, Oh bro V is her nine year old brother who says yes to everything and is the leader of the pack. So if we go to a trampoline park and it's Jovian proviz adventure, she knows oh, we're hanging with this guy. So it has helped me get into that mindset, those experiences and those unlocking to those truths. All happened to me on cannabis.

Curt Storring 45:26

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Okay, man. So we What's

Keith Yackey 45:34

your like anti th like, I don't know if you are no, I'm saying you're the big anti THC guy and I'm telling you all about how

Curt Storring 45:42

to do my things got no peace? No, it's fine. Like,

Keith Yackey 45:46

what's the next step? Okay, dial number two is the partnering dial. This is one where guys mess it up a lot. The partnering dial is I just pretty pretty much say it's like the best friend now. Does your wife really feel like she could hang out with you? And a lot of guys, I pose this standard, new standard and go. What if you were such a good friend to her that her coming home and telling you about her day. Got her. She was more excited. That was the highlight of her day, she could not wait to get home to tell her very best friend. All about whatever and you were that great of conversations. You were that much of a retreat from her for her from the world to be able to come you are that good of a communicator? You don't think she's sucking that guy's dick? You damn right dude, she's gonna love that guy so deeply because you're now connecting on an emotional level, which most guys don't know how to do. And so when it comes to the best friend now, it's like you're listening. And you're saying, Hey, I'm an active listener. Like Oh, really? Tell me more about that. How did that make you feel? The guys that are just like, Uh huh. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. Hey, like they're putting in time. But I'm like, Dude, if this was some hot chick from high school you haven't seen forever and she's telling you about a story. You're listening up, man. You're looking for cues. You're looking how to be a better communicator? Why aren't Why don't you be that way with your wife if you you want her to be just this tiger in the sheets, but dude, you can't even listen to her. So I think that's very, it just this best friend dial is. And my wife said I feel more alone married to you than I would be if I was single. That's how bad I was. This. See, when guys hear me talk and the concepts and they see me and Jesse's life. It's like, they don't understand. I was the worst at this five and a half years ago, like the like the guy that could teach Hey, how to be the worst at this. That would be me.

Curt Storring 47:45

Man, I yeah, I think I would be co host of that show. That's why it's so powerful man. Like, these are stories of hope. It's not like we're just some, I don't know, charlatans going like, oh, you should try this. Like, dude, I was so bad. When we're living in Europe. My wife is like, I'm taking the kids going home. And I'm like, Well, why? I did what you did, I looked at myself and like, Oh, I am a piece of shit. Okay. And then you have to figure that out. And it's like, there's the thing is though, like Kyle and his bro Ryan always say it's like, because we've been there, we can now reach down into that. Well, where guys are suffering. Yeah. And that's the beautiful thing. I'm so grateful that I was so bad for so long. Because now it's power. Yeah, I can help these guys. Because I don't want anyone to go through that and feel that terrible. And man, it's so simple. Just listen to her and empathize and validate. And then like mirror back what you're hearing, and then just like, be there when she needs you. Like, hold her bring the bomb in.

Keith Yackey 48:38

The reason why guys don't do it. Because it seemed like it was so simple. Why? How would how do we mess that up? Well, it's, it's because another standard has been set. And it's a wrong standard. And it's a standard for mediocrity. And the standard is Hey, because I protect because I provide because I produce, I'm just expected for you to show up as this sexy lingerie laden lady, when in reality, it's like no predicting, providing producing, that is what you're supposed to do as a man. That's your job number one. And if you're you're not doing that you're not a man that should even be looking at reproducing your genes. Secondly, now, how do you make a woman feel like radically loved and safe and wanting to wanting to express this initiative and express this vulnerability in front of you when you've done nothing to support that is ridiculous. And so the standard is guys think, well, I'm doing these so they get entitled to this and so therefore, they stop they become radically apathetic and apathy leads to a loss of attraction like very quickly. So this is what's happening on this on this level. And that's why guys, if they up their partner dial, they really live changes big time for him. All right. So I want to

Curt Storring 49:54

miss the cost of entry, because it's a cost of entry right? Like you don't get anything for going to work your work. starts at five o'clock, not nine o'clock, like when you get home, that's when your real work begins. And I just want to share with guys as well, like, what you just said about connecting with your wife and making her feel seen and loved and all that kind of stuff I have seen in my life and all the guys I'm working with trust is the currency of intimacy. And you're not building trust, unless you're truly seeing someone if she feels like you're a partner, like, why are you telling me this, I would never tell you this. It's like, Dude, you have to understand that this is what she's looking for. She's not looking for you to just like, do more stuff and be this. I don't know, provider, whatever you're like you said, she's got to feel seen and loved and all that kind of stuff. And you've got to show up for her in the way that like you said before she feels it. And she's way more emotional than you are. So you better learn how to be an emotional master communicative master, otherwise you never gonna connect. Anyway, number three, let's go. Hey, bud.

Keith Yackey 50:49

I'm really glad you said that because it's like, There's one caveat. If you want her to feel radically attracted and sexually into you, you've got to learn that emotional stuff. So a lot of guys are thinking like well, do I really need that? Well, dude, the the gateway of emotion is going to give you what you want. So a lot of guys just think if I'm a good dude, I deserve to have a good sex life. No, the same way. You don't deserve big biceps. If you don't curl heavy weights. The only way you're going to have a radically sensuous and dare I say raunchy relationship if that's what you want. You've got to get the skills to be able to understand what will create that in your wife. And so this is reason why we talk about this stuff is because like listen, I love being radically emotionally connected my wife because that does create another dynamic to me. I think soul sex is the greatest sex of all sacks, man. So another thing I believe is that honeymoon sex is for the minor leaguers. These are things that are actually that I believe, not that I go, Oh, that would sound like a cute little thing that somebody say it's like, I believe it in the core of my being. And that's why I show up the way I do it. I don't believe the other thing anymore. All right. Third dial is the provider dial, you got to start providing deeply and become a man of resources. They want to feel safe, that they know they're going to be able to be taken care of most guys are good at this. So I'm going to kind of leave that one there. The next few days, I think are the ones that guys mess up the most. And then I think a few good nice quips would will get us tied up. As we round it out. You go with that?

Curt Storring 52:30

Perfect Man. Let's

Keith Yackey 52:31

go okay, the fourth dial is the player dial. The player dial is this what I'm talking about when it you learn the actual art of seduction with your wife when you learn. Women, from a very little age have loved the game peekaboo. They love it. They love it. My daughter this morning, we have an island where we live. And there's like a wall. And so I peeked out this side and she caught my eye. And then I made sure I kept my eye and then I came over and I came over the other side and she caught my eye and then a smile kind of on her face like oh, what's going on here. And then I baited her again, let her catch my eye. And then I went down low and crawled behind the cabinets and scooped her and then Dude, she just lost her mind. Giggling loved it got out of her chair started chasing me. They love games. So the reason I call it married game is because married men have lost or don't know how to have game with their wife. And it takes understanding. If you want to quote unquote, score, you got to understand the rules of the game. It's just that simple. Nobody goes up to nobody trots out onto a football field with a baseball bat and goes why aren't we having success? Here's like the wrong game dum dum. Here's the game. Your wife wants to be pursued. She wants to be chased. But not too much. She wants to feel like you want her but she also wants to know you don't need her. There's all these little things that are it's why it's so confusing. Because some guy can be like, pursue pursue and the other guy's like, no, no, don't just sit back then I'm coming to you. It's like, was that short term attraction application? Or is that long term attraction application? Will How the fuck does it work? And so there's all this noise out there. And when it boils right down to it, it's your responsibility to be able to seduce one woman, your wife. That's it. So learning her love language. What makes her excited when you do something? She gasped. Oh, wow. Oh my gosh, I make my wife a green drink every morning. And lately. Every once in a while I'll pop up. I'm like, oh, did you order one of these and I'll deliver it to her because I get up way earlier than her. And just this morning I was right. I said we got a new little kitty cat and so I gave that. And the way the door system works. I just gave the green drink to my daughter who was in with the Cat said hey, give this to mom. And I heard walk in as soon as she came up. I heard my wife guess. Oh, like she was so shocked that we hand delivered her her green drink. Dude, I've been doing this for four fucking years, man. So it's not like the great this is operation green drink and we just tried to six days ago. We're seeing how it works, bro. I'm on Good day, damn near 1500 on this thing, you know what I'm saying? And so I go, Oh, what is it? That's an act of service. She loves act of service. She likes it when I'm thinking about her. She likes it when I her words of affirmation and physical touch are her two bottom. But the other one is like time and attention. And I think that's the real issue is a lot of guys understand when it comes to the player dial, long term attraction, not short term attraction is his long term attraction. Guys love TNA. We love tits. And as we just go, well done, whoever made that species, knuckle bump to you, you nailed it. But we liked it. And as they like teenagers well, but they like time and attention. I believe it's carved into the concrete stone of a woman's being to want and desire and crave the attention of a supremely valuable man. That's why they looked for it from their father, who was the most valuable man in the world to them. It's why when they when girls become strippers, or adult stars or whatever they go, she has daddy issues. And then when they say that she needs men's attention, well, every girl needs it. And everybody, every girl wants it. So if you become this badass, dude, the best version of you, she's going to want your attention. So therefore when you give her your attention, which attention is just focused energy, and I believe energy is your greatest asset, not time, you're gonna have all the time in the world, but without energy, what's it worth nothing. So energy, vitality, who you are as a person in life, and how you show up. This is the most attractive shit in planet earth, man. So that's the being part of it. The actual doing part. You know, I always just use the analogy of dates, like when's the last time you took your wife on a date? And where'd you go? And they'll be like, I don't know, six weeks ago. I'm like, Well, what did you do? Well, we had to Home Depot picked up some parts for the remodel we're working on and then we, you know, cruise through the Chick fil A drive thru line, and it's like, Shit, no wonder no wonder Casanova. No wonder you're not getting more acid, a toilet seat like this is not dating. But again, if the hot chick from high school showed up, and you were you were single, and she's like, Hey, let's catch up. You're like, yeah, it's a date, you'd be putting a lot of effort into that, you'd be making sure that you were doing what you could. And the key word would just be effort you're putting effort in. And so a lot of guys, they treat their marriage as if they crossed the finish line. And when in reality, they just stepped into the starting blocks. That's the mental shift for what it really means to become a player. Dude,

Curt Storring 57:34

we got like, three minutes. What's the last dial? Okay, power

Keith Yackey 57:37

dial power dial is this when you do you do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it without fault that will build up the trust. And my favorite quote from me is when the trust goes up, the list goes up. And that's really what happens is when they can bank on your word that you do what you say you're gonna do, you can start the business you start and you make it successful. You're going to lose the way you actually lose the way you're going to be a better dad, you are a better dad. It's not like they don't want to have to mom, you the mom. matrixes like you're trying her for her validation. Did you see my good act? Will you please applaud and praise me that's, that's that's such? That's so low. That's low status behavior.

Curt Storring 58:18

Do you I love this. I call this the snooze button trust trap. You know, you're like, Oh, honey, I'm gonna go to the gym. Wake up at 430 I'm gonna go. And then it's like, I'm comfy. It's 430 alarm rolls around. Like, I'll just hit the snooze. It's not that big of a deal. Like, wow, I'll go tomorrow. But guess who sleeps in your bed? Your wife, bro. And what does she see? She sees you hit that snooze button and she can't trust you for anything. You can even go up. You can go to the gym in the morning, hey, I'm going to trust him to lead the family. And that bucket goes right down to the bottom man. Exactly. I love that. Man. These are so good. I'm so pumped that you've like been able to figure out the way to say these in all the right ways. I'm like, I gotta figure out how to talk to you so you can get all of my things sounding amazing, because this is so good. And it's so true. And I just want to tell everyone else do I've seen this too. Okay, this isn't just like some random thing he's come up with. This is truth. This is just fact. So if you guys want success, your marriage, you want to have more sex, you want to build a legacy that truly matters, which is successful family. Do what he just said, Okay, this is like an hour that you can apply to your life today. To have a better love life to have a better marriage. Why wouldn't you do? Where can we find more about you because I know guys are gonna want that

Keith Yackey 59:24

Keith yackey.com has a group pretty much everything I am about and what I'm working on right now. And if they want more specific talk about this married game.com They can go there and watch a video. And if they want to chat with us, they can chat with us. And we're happy to help. This way we say it's the action that causes the attraction. And so these things are things that you can take action on every single day just start doing these things. Even it would just listen to this podcast, start doing these things and watch what happens.

Curt Storring 59:55

Yeah, the action is the antidote to average. We've got like, we've got weird little quotes that go on like almost the same I love this good man friends, man. All right, thanks for being on here. Dude, this was really really good. Thanks for having me, bro. Thank you for listening to the dad work podcast. That's it for this episode. But if you would like to stay in touch between weekly episodes, why don't you go over to Instagram and follow me there because I drop a number of things throughout the week that are related to what we talked about on this podcast, but usually go a little bit deeper, provide some tips you can find me on Instagram at dad work dot Kurt. That's da d w o RK dot c u r t. And please, if you have been getting something out of this podcast, if it has touched you if it has improved your marriage or parenting or your life, would you please leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify. leave a rating. If you have a few extra seconds, leave a quick review. That's the best way that we can get this work in the hands of more fathers. And I truly believe that we change the world, one father at a time because each father that parents better that loves better raises children who do the same. And in just a couple of generations. I feel like we could be living in a world much better than the one we live in today. Your review will help along that path. And I thank you so much for being here to listen until next week. We'll see you then.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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