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Welcome to this episode of Friday Reflections by Dad.Work!
Every Friday I share the best of what we have been doing in the Dad.Work community, to provide perspective, new ideas, and motivation for you to continue on your journey to becoming the best man, partner, and father you can be.
This week we are reviewing how the year 2021 has been and we’ll also be previewing our expectations this new year, 2022. In today’s episode, I’ll also be sharing with you all some lessons I’ve learned this year.
We’ll talk about:
- My top book recommendations
- Top lessons learned from the books I’ve read
- Getting into the men space instead of doing all the work yourself
- compound interest in business
- Sticking with something you love for a long time
- Intuition and trusting our guts
- Meditation and being mindfully aware of your surrounding
- Regular practise
- Knowing what your kids need from you to grow into strong, resilient and capable men
- Being your own teacher/leader
- Being okay with failure
Mentioned on this episode:
- Open Her by Karen Brody
- Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
- Getting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis
- Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
- The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson
- Just Breathe by Dan Brule
- The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
- Titan by John D. Rockefeller, Sr
- Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
- Ryan Michler Instagram
- The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
- The Great Man Within Podcast
Curt Storring 0:00:00
Welcome to the Dad.Work podcast. My name is Curt Storring, your host and the founder of Dad.Work. Today, we are going to get into a quick review of 2021, including my top books and top lessons of the year, as well as previewing 2022, including how I plan for the new year, a couple of things that you can use to set your year on the right track and a little bit of an update on what we are going to be doing in 2022. And how we are going to be helping move forward the agenda, which is to help all the fathers around the world become better men, partners and fathers by doing their own inner work and building community, because those are the things that have helped me on my journey most and I have gone from just a absolutely miserable, terrible father terrible husband. I'm not kidding, this isn't just like, oh, yeah, I bet. I was literally believing that my children and my wife would be better off if I weren't there. And I know the statistics of what fatherless families look like. And I was still convinced that I was way worse than if they had stayed with me. So I'm sharing all this because this is the work that has impacted my life most I have gone from hopeless to hopeful. And I want to share a little bit about that with you at the end of this episode, when we talk about what we're doing in 2022. There's gonna be a lot of stuff, a lot of announcements, a lot of ways to work together a lot of ways to join in community with other men along their own journeys. But for now, we're going to be talking about my top book recommendations, and top lessons I learned and how to plan for your year ahead. Thank you so much for listening to me this year 2021, I considered a bit of a trial run for Dad.Work. And I've got to say it blew all my expectations out of the water. Thanks to you for listening. Thank you for subscribing thank you for joining our groups or men's groups or courses or community. I'm just so grateful. And I am committed to serving you and creating a space for you to have the best experience as a father, a partner and a man this year with Dad.Work. All that being said, let's jump in the episode. Happy New Year, hope you had a wonderful Christmas and we'll get to the episode right now.
Alright, so we are going to start with some of my top books for 2021. I did not read as much as I usually do, I typically get through between 25 and 40 bucks depending on the year. And this year, I got through fewer than that. However, that was in large part because I was reading quite a number of specific texts. Some of them were longer and more in depth for the breathwork teacher training I underwent at the beginning in the mid part of the year with transcend Academy. And there were a lot of great things in there learning about nervous system breathing, healing trauma, and things like that, some of which I will recommend to you here. But that meant that I was not reading the things that I had on my reading list. And I got through fewer of them. Partially also because I will talk about one of the books shortly Siddartha, I made a decision to be my own teacher, which I will talk about in my top lessons. After this. After these books and the top lessons, I'm going to go into how I plan for my year ahead. This is going to be a short episode. So it's not going to be the full on In Depth workshop that I went through in December, the new year new data workshop. But it will give you a starting point, this will be coming out on the 31st of December, which is one day before 2022, which is just insane. I saw something the other day that said 1978 is to 2000 as 2000 is to 2022. So wrap your head around that. Anyway, we're gonna start with the top books of 2021 for me, and I'm going to give you my four top books and I'm going to give you a few more that were quite good. And I am going to publish early this year a list of the most impactful books I shared recently with one of the men's groups that I am running with Dad.Work. They asked for a book list and I put together all of my top books. And so it's now waiting in the drafts on my website dad.work and will be live shortly. So that is going to be a fantastic resource if you would like to fast track your growth and not have to come across these randomly over the course of eight years like I've had to do. So. That being said, the number one book that I'm going to recommend right now, and perhaps the top four will not be ordered. So when I say number one, I just mean the first one, I'm going to say is called open her by Karen Brody. And I would love to have Karen on the podcast because I think you need to read this book, you need to hear more about this. And the point of the book is that it combines masculine archetypes with sexual polarity. And those things if you know me are like some of the most fundamental things that I have used in my work and my growth. And so to combine them together, and to make this extremely approachable, very actionable. book that talks about how to show up with women in relationship is just fantastic. I was introduced to this type of work by David data when I read the Way of the Superior Man which is perhaps my number one recommended book for anyone listening. I read this a couple of years ago and I have reread it multiple times since then, in fact that when I first found it, I read it three
times in a row and took insane amounts of notes reviewed it read it three different ways. And it was so important to me. So I believe that Karen is drawing on that sort of lineage, the sexual polarity that I was first introduced by David data. Another teacher in this space is named John Weinland. If you're looking for someone, a fantastic teacher, I really appreciate everything he does. But open her by Karen Brodie goes through seven masculine archetypes and how you can use them to better connect with women. And this is not one of those how to connect with to pick chicks up. This is so much deeper, this goes to a soul level. And it is just fantastic. So I highly recommend picking up open herb by Karen Brody, the next book that blew my mind, and I had no idea would be like this is called Wild at Heart by John Eldridge. Now I actually saw this on Instagram, there's a man that I have followed for years, named Ryan Meckler, and he runs the order of man. And this is a group of man, a community of men that he leads and has been doing so for the last number of years. And while we differ on some of the things that we think are important, or perhaps teach, I respect him deeply. In fact, years ago, when I first started thinking about how do I get into this men's space, this masculine space, I'm doing some of the work in mind you this was a few years ago, when I just started getting into it. I wanted to share what I was learning, but I wasn't quite sure how and I actually invited Ryan to be my first podcast guest. But this is probably five years ago now. And I never did anything with that I felt terrible along the way that I had wasted an hour of his time. I recently reached out to him on Instagram and apologized and thanked him for the work he was doing. And so I feel like that has the loop is closed. But someone asked him in one of his Q and A's or his post or something like that on Instagram what his favorite book was. And he said, Wild at Heart by John Eldridge,
I pick this up thinking okay, well, you know, you don't often get the number one recommended book by someone that you see out there doing amazing things in the world. So I read it. And I was blown away. John Eldridge comes at this from a Christian worldview, and much of it is in relation to, to the relationship with God we have as parents, and I'm not a Christian, I am not an organized religious person, I seek spirit and source in the universe. And I tend to find that in the mundane. And when my feet on the ground, I find my spirituality. In the everyday when I am meditating, when I am noticing deeply each moment when I can stretch each moment into infinity. That is where I find my spirituality. Anyway, this book has a decidedly Christian edge. And if that's up your alley, then you will love it. If it's not up your alley, I still think you can love it. And I loved it. From that point of view. What this talks about is the need for boys and men to be wild, to live in a way that is not civilized, to get back to the things that make us men, uniquely, men, not people, not humans, not the same as women, but men. And one of the things I learned from this book was that boys and girls need separate things when you're raising them as a parent. And for me, I have three boys. And one of the things he said was that boys need to know that they're enough, they need to know they have what it takes, they need to know that they are wild men, and that you see them as such, and that you affirm them as such, and that so many of the problems today come from men, who as boys did not have fathers, affirming them, and telling them they were enough. And so they seek enoughness elsewhere, through women, or work or extreme sports or something like that. So while at heart, fantastic book, there's so so much to this. And I think it's a great read for any father. The next book I'm gonna recommend is called getting to zero by Jason Gattis. This is a book released this year by Jason, who is just a fantastic relationship coach. He's a wonderful parent. And he talks in this book about conflict resolution, and it goes deep, which I love. It's not just a simple tactical book, it's about getting to know why you have these stories and why you go about trying to resolve conflict these ways. And then when you know that it makes a lot more sense to use the tools he shares in this book. So I highly recommend getting to zero, particularly for people like me, who are still conflict averse. This is part of my work right now, this is part of what I do. In a group setting in men's groups. When I talk to people, I am noticing my hesitancy to be in conflict, even if it means standing up for myself and my desires or my boundaries. And so having a better idea leading me through this process and getting to zero and calming down and being clear, when I'm in conflict helped me tremendously. So highly recommend getting to zero by Jason Gattis. The fourth book that had a huge impact on me was actually a novel. It was a short read, and it's called Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. This is an extremely popular book from what I can tell I know a lot of people have recommended over the years, and I picked it up sort of randomly a few months ago, and I'm so glad I did. It's a story book. so much I'm trying to think for the best way to give you a synopsis. But it's generally about a boy, a young man who leaves home, searching for spirituality for the right way to do things for the truth. And he hooks up with some ascetics, basically people who have nothing. And they live that way. And they find peace and contentment in that moment. And then he goes on and has a bunch of travels, and he goes far and wide. But eventually comes the realization that he must be his own teacher, that anything, any truth that he finds, can certainly be that when gurus or teachers come across his path, he can listen to them, and he can be respectful of them, he can be conscious of what they teach, but their truth will never be His truth. And so he takes it upon himself to be his own teacher. And that is the lesson that I took from this. And it resonated with me so deeply. Because I had been in student mode for so long. I buy courses, whenever I see them that resonate with me, I am always learning I am always trying new things. And I'm always following people. And in fact, this is a very useful thing to do. It keeps you in beginner's mind, Zen Mind, if you will. But for me, it was acting as a crutch. I was trying to find the answer from other people. I was trying to find the template so that I didn't fail at things. And that was hamstringing me. And so I decided after reading this, that I was not going to be in student mode anymore. I finished the courses I was currently taking. And I made a commitment not to sign up for anymore, which was hard for me because I then had to be fully responsible for the results I
had for what I was doing. And I had to trust that I knew what to do in each situation. And it has been a fantastic thing for me. And so Siddartha was not only a fun read, and enjoyable, short read, but it was actually quite deep and impactful for me. A couple of other ones that come to mind are the journey from abandonment to healing by Susan Anderson. This is focused on relationship, but I used it quite a lot for childhood abandonment and perceived abandonment in my own life. And there's a lot of great journaling in this book, particularly about the inner child. And so if that is something that sort of piques your interest, I highly recommend getting this for some of those journaling exercises. There's a book called Just breathe by Danbury Les Mis is sort of the all encompassing breathwork book that I highly recommend, if you would like to learn how to use your breath as a tool to alter your life, basically, your physiology, to use it to calm down to get amped up to be cooler in the hot weather to warm up in the cooler weather. And all of these health benefits that come from noticing how you breathe and breathing intentionally. This is a treasure trove of types of breathing that you can add to your repertoire. And your daily life almost instantly, as soon as you read about it, I highly recommend it just bring it by Dan blue light. I read one much earlier in the year called the psychology of money by Morgan Housel. I don't know if that's how you pronounce the last name. It's h o u SEL, this was a surprisingly fun to read for me. And the lesson that I took from this was basically know what game you're playing, and the power of compound interest. And I'll explain that because it sounds very obvious. So the knowing that what game you're playing is important because I for example, love to be on the cutting edge of things, I like to try new things I like to you know, buy crypto, I like to try NF T's I like to do all this kind of stuff, I I see something and I almost have this FOMO in a lot of cases because I see friends or colleagues or whoever doing really well in a certain asset class and I go like, Oh, I gotta jump in there. So I'll put a little bit of money in but I haven't actually done the research enough or, you know, I'm distracted by a million things I can't put in the research and the time it would take to be successful. And I spread myself thin. And so if you just understand the game you're going to be playing because there are many games to be successful in money. According this book, if you understand the game you're playing, then you will not be as FOMO basically when other things come up. If you say look, I'm a long term safe investor. index funds are where I'm at, I make my money in my business, and I invest for the long term and these basic, you know, in Canada, the RSP, the TFSA, index funds, whatever they are, that's just what I am, when something exciting comes along, you go hey, that's not my game, and you pass it. And if your game is to be, you know, half in the cutting edge and half long term, then you know, that's the game you play, but pick the game so that you're not always distracted. That's the lesson I learned when in terms of the compound interest. Everybody knows compound interest is the most powerful tool in the world. But the reason behind this was interesting to me. It's not that it actually wasn't the fact that you just need to stick with something long enough that I learned here was that it was actually why doing things you love leads to the best compound interest and this is hard to take because a lot of businesses that I have started it's all about returns or money or seeing an opportunity in the market and you do it and you don't really love it but you know, you like business enough. You like money enough that you just start the business but it's hard to stick with something for a long time that you don't love. And so a lot of people say well, yeah, but if you do what you love, it doesn't become a something you love anymore, it stops being a hobby and it starts being work and you can't find the balance as easily. what this book says is if you find something you're good at and that you love, and that you can do for a long time, you're much more likely to get that compound interest and to continue doing it for a long period of time, because it has staying power. And a lot of success comes from simply being in the game long enough. It's not that you get lucky ones, it's that you do the basics reasonably well over a long period of time. And you are more likely to do that in a long period of time if you actually like what you're doing. So even if you're doing like 50% of the optimal money management, if you do it 50% Well, for 50 years, you're going to turn out all right. So that's what I learned from this book, a couple of awesome money hacks there. I also enjoy reading some biographies. I was really into the book Titan, The John D. Rockefeller senior biography earlier this year by Ron Chernow. I like this book, because it's fascinating to see how the titans of industry live their lives, what was important to them? Or should they be as vilified as many people vilify them today? Or are there amazing things that they did? Did they persevere, or they just cut throat or was there something more to it, I just, I love the wide range of this, and getting a sense of the human behind this incredible wealth and this incredible family that, you know, I think even today, is still quite wealthy. So I enjoyed that.
I enjoyed the story of his life and why he was like that, I also loved his insistence on ledger keeping, and just understanding that it all started from that for being very obsessed with his money, which of course, stopped him from doing a great number of other things. But just seeing the small things that it took to diligently apply to the larger things, that was a good lesson for the book. Finally, I read this book with my older son. It's called the hatchet by Gary Paulson. And this was recommended to me on Instagram, so thank you, whoever that was, in my stories, who replied and gave me that because my son absolutely loved that. This was one of those things that you know, the the boy is stranded in the woods, and he has to survive. And I just loved the talk about how he changed his attitude into one of survival and one of each day being meaningful, in, you know, for a younger kid like that, something that most of us wouldn't survive. And so that was the lesson of the story. And that not to mention that my son is completely obsessed right now, with outdoorsman stuff, and hunting and fishing and all that kind of stuff. So it was a good read. On that note, I do not want to miss mentioning that I have pushed my son with some books that are not usually considered for 789 year old boys, we have read a couple of things together, including the Hobbit, which perhaps is one of the easier ones. But we've also read things like the Odyssey by Homer. And that was actually one of the best ones that we have read together one of my favorites, because it is an epic. It's this tale of this man who survived for so long and came back for his family and all this crazy adventure. And this is kind of going back to the Wild at Heart book that I mentioned in the adventure. And in the abject masculinity of the hero of this book, you get lessons that young boys don't get in society these days enough. And so I loved to find that in the classics. And I'm now starting to build a library, a classic library that I can help to share with my sons as they grow so that they can see what it looks like to be adventurous to have epic tales to struggle and lose, and win and fight and stand up for what they believe in. So a couple of recommendations there, if you have younger kids, push them, be there with them, read it slowly. But give them something else to think about broaden their worldview early. Okay, so I'm gonna move on to some of my top lessons. For this year 2021. The first one being the most important lesson I learned which was just about intuition, and how I must trust my gut. And make sure I'm mindfully applying awareness to the feeling in my body when I want to do something or don't want to do something. This was my word for the year and 2021. And it came up in spades. It just absolutely blew my mind this year with the amount of intuition amount of work I had to do on this. And this was actually a huge part of my work and my journey over the last year that has freed me up tremendously from some of the things that were keeping me back before. I was ignoring my intuition for months as I set out on this journey to start a new business that was completely against all my values. But that I thought was going to be a good idea because I needed to push myself in. It turns out, it was actually my intuition that was calling that I was ignoring. And it was finally getting so loud that I couldn't sleep. I was absolutely hesitant to go to my computer to work. I could not do it. I was just unable to work. And that never happens to me. So I thankfully was able to reach out to the men in my men's group, some coaches, some mentors, family, and I realized that by entrusting my intuition, it meant I had to fail. Basically, I had to shut down this business that I was just launching I lose a lot of money and lose a lot of goodwill, all to honor my intuition. And I did that. And it's been the most fantastic thing I have ever done this year, so much good came out of it, I became a better man, partner and husband, I became a better leader. I think I said, partner and husband, I meant partner and father, I became a better leader, I
embarked on things I wouldn't have otherwise done, I started this podcast because of it. And he's just been so fundamental to me. So intuition, starting to meditate and be so mindfully aware. And this has taken me years to get to. But my suggestion is to start a million fulness practice if you don't have one, or deepen yours, and trust the gut. Another lesson that I learned was that regular practice, for me it was breath work, mindfulness this year, is really unbelievable. Like there is so much you can do, there is so much depth you can get to with a trained facilitator, if you practice once a week or for meditation once a day. But in these larger things like breath work that are often harder to commit to because they're one or two hours long, if you consistently go to them, I think I did something like 2025 weeks in a row while I was doing this breathwork teacher training course. And then afterward, more often than I otherwise was, it has just blown me wide open, there's so much good that comes from regularly diving in deep with your practice. And so perhaps for you, there could be something this year where you dive deeper into one of these practices that you've been sort of skimming along the surface, and either slow down with it and truly notice it, or go all the way in. Another lesson I learned is that dads, I mean, all men basically are dying for connection and brotherhood and tell their stories and to be heard. I sort of knew this being one of those men who was dying for that myself, but and also through being a leader in a men's group. But as I started Dad.Work the messages that I get the email responses that I get the men who are joining our course and our men's groups, and our communities, it is unbelievable, just how impactful it is to sit with other men and be heard and to share your life and to have a group of men around you that you can always call on there is nothing quite like it. And men are hungry for this. That is why I am doubling down this year, I'm going to do everything I was doing in the last quarter of last year. But take it to another level, we are going to be doing so many things to connect you with the men around you men across the country and across the world, hopefully, as well in your local community who are interested in doing this work to become better men, partners and fathers, and who are willing to go deep on their journey alongside you. I mentioned this before. But what I learned from Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse was that I needed to be my own leader, and I touched on this, but it was a big lesson for me, I needed to stop being in student mode, I needed to start being the teacher. But for myself, I needed to be both teacher and student and trust that and that included working with intuition, as I've already talked about. But this was so unusual for me because I thought, well, if I don't have a teacher, if I'm not a student, right now, then people are gonna think I'm conceited or arrogant, like, I don't need a teacher. And really, that was all fear of being judged. Externally Judge, I knew that it was right for me, and it has been right for me. And I do have a little bit of that fear of being seen to be arrogant or whatever. But this is simply a season in my life, I will absolutely continue to be a student, I will absolutely continue to be in beginner mind. And right now,
I need to be the teacher and the student for myself. I also learned along this journey, that when you've stopped being the thing actively ruining your children, like I felt I was, you need to replace that void with active parenting. So my work forever was just doing the work on myself being better. So I stopped screwing up my kids and my family. And that's mostly been taken care of now. I'm still doing the work, I'm still growing, obviously. But I'm not the biggest problem in their lives anymore. And what that means is that I need to start leading them rather than just leading myself. So I have had to learn. And I'm continually learning now as part of my work, what my kids actually need for me to grow into strong, capable, resilient men. And that is that started a lot with Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, like I've already mentioned, but it's going deeper and figuring out what did I need? What did I need that I didn't get? What do they need based on their unique personalities? What do they need to be securely attached to me? What does it look like? How do I actively do that? And so there comes a point when you are finally reasonably well centered and grounded yourself that you need to actually step up and figure out how to actively parent to raise good men and good women. And that's where I'm at right now. So that was a wonderful lesson, because it's exciting to get to do that work. Leadership, for me was a huge lesson I needed to be called up, I needed to step up. This was my next step on my journey. And I didn't even know what it was. I felt in men's group that, you know, I was one of the leaders in the groups already without being named that I was bringing energy. I was challenging. I was doing my work. I was very well read. And when I was called up to leadership, and I thank my good friend, Jason, so much for his willingness to open that door to leadership because he certainly didn't have to this is in the in person men's group. I am a part of called the samurai brotherhood here in Vancouver, as well as across Canada, getting the United States as well as Australia and online. It is a fantastic group. But I was called a leadership. And this was just my work, it was exactly what I needed, I needed to be put in leadership because it was what I needed to work on myself, I felt like I wasn't necessarily being challenged anymore as a member. But as soon as I stepped into leadership, it was a whole other can of worms I did not even know existed. And it was absolutely instrumental for me growing and continuing to do this work. And so I'm so grateful for that lesson. But it was absolutely something that I needed to have happen. And so if you are feeling stagnant, I suggest finding ways in which you can become a leader, whether that's starting your own thing, whether that's joining a group and asking for more responsibility or leadership, perhaps in your company, perhaps in your family, find something to lead in to be at your edge to continue to find where you can grow. Finally, a lesson I learned in 2021 is that this might actually work like I would love for Dad.Work to be the place where fathers come to do their inner work, to heal, to grow, to find community, and to not be alone with themselves and their struggles anymore. And I would love it to have an actual impact in decreasing the amount of negative consequences both for the men and the children across the world. If we see fewer suicides, if we see less depression, if we see fewer divorces, if we see children who are growing up to be more resilient and mindful, these will all be positives. These will all be accomplishments of what Dad.Work is trying to do. And we are early, early right now. But we are going to go for years and years I see this as a life project. The feedback that I'm getting from you guys has been phenomenal. I appreciate everyone who gives me the feedback, comments, who likes who listens to the podcast, who reviews the podcast, who joins our courses, who has joined our men's groups, everything is just mind blowing. To me, I am so grateful to be able to share this journey with you because it has been years and years of suffering and pain for me and that I am now finding greater meaning than ever before and sharing this with you so that you don't have to suffer quite as long as I did. Now, we're going to talk about 2022. Very briefly, my word for the year is going to be create and I have a word each year, like I mentioned last year was intuition this year is create and it goes on that theme of being my own teacher being my own leader, I'm going to create because that inherently suggests that I'm leading that I am producing more than I consume. There's all this inherent understanding within this word that I love that encompasses all those things, but that at the base event, it's me putting things out in the world to help to serve, to be creative to share my gift, my deepest and most fundamental expertise and gift to the world. I will be using that to create so many things for you and the men who are listening alongside you. It also encapsulates vulnerability, because I have to just make stuff. And if people don't like it, then I get to hear about that. And if people do like it, well, that's great. But there's always this potential element of failure. And that is part of my work as well, I could not fail for the life of me and I played so small for a lot of my life because I thought if I failed, it confirmed that I was not perfect. But I had been putting up this so called perfect veneer and showing the world that I wasn't fact perfect, everything was great. I was well put together I was fit my businesses were working well. And if there was a tiny crack in that armor, I felt like my entire identity, my life would come crashing down. And so for me, creation is both creating from my gift but also being okay with failure and being seen. And so that is my word. When I look at planning your ahead, I pick a word that sort of guides me towards where I want to go, that is in alignment with my values, but that just keeps me on track. And I can have in the back of my mind very easily. I also like to align with my values. And so if you don't know your values, I highly suggest finding the 567 10 biggest values in your life and writing them down and reviewing them regularly, whether that's daily, weekly, or monthly, making sure that those values create the foundation of your goals, which we'll talk about in a second. If your goals are in line with your values, it's not going to feel good, you're not actually going to achieve very much. And you'll probably sabotage yourself along the way. What I like to do after I find my word and my values is to do a meditation and sort of picture myself the ideal version of myself in the future. And you can use 10 years I actually started doing this meditation after hearing a version of this from Dominic from the gray man within podcast. He had this on his podcast and I've adapted it for my own work. And this is just such a fantastic tool. So I highly recommend going to find the gray man within podcast and listening to Dominic's version. If it does sound like something you would like to do, but you basically envision your best self 10 years from now, the ideal version of you that has everything you want exactly who you want to be. And you get really serious about seeing him and feeling him and then embodying him seeing who is around him in his life, how his wife looks at him how his children look at him.
How much money does he have? What does he do on a day to day basis? Does he have more wrinkles? Does he look relaxed? What is his posture? Like? What is his fitness like, you see all those things, you get very clear on them, you can write them down. And from that best in self 10 years, I start to work backwards. So I go, Okay, what does halfway there look like five years from now? Okay, what does a third of the way there look like three years from now. And from that I work backwards backwards until I get to one year, in one year, what does 10% of the way look like to that 10 year ideal self. And then I set SMART goals specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time sensitive, my yearly goals, and I often break them down into business could be income, or finances. For me, a lot of those are quite twined, family relationship, fitness, all that kind of stuff. And I like to keep it between three to five larger scale goals. And from that yearly goal to five, three to five yearly goals, I will work backwards and break it down into quarters. So by q4 only to have these things done, hit them by q3 only to have these things on, you keep working back. So you're going from 10 years to five years to three years to one year to quarterly which is every three months 90 day sprints basically. And from there, you can continue to break it down if you wish. But I like to work in quarterly sprints, I give general themes to my months, and then I will try to set habits that will inform and enforce the things I want to get done. So from the habits, your days are set, and from the days, of course your weeks, and from the weeks, the months in the months, the quarters, the quarters the year. And so starting from ground level, what are you doing that you need to stop doing habit wise? And what are you not doing that you need to start doing to inform those goals and actually get there this year. So that's my general 30,000 foot plan on how I plan for the year, I have got my word, I've got my values, I've got my meditative 10, your ideal self in mind, I've got my goals. And we are going to build a massive community of dads all over the world. With that work, we're going to be launching some amazing things to connect men fathers, such that basically anyone who is interested in doing the work has a home, anyone who's doing the inner work to become a better man, partner and father has a home and giving you guys the community that I wish I had along this entire journey. So that anything that comes up in your life, you hop on to the community, you share with a man and you immediately get supported, you get feedback, you get challenged, you have your own small support group. All these things are coming in 2022. And it's gonna be fantastic. So thank you so much for listening to everything. Thank you so much for being here with me this year. 2021 was sort of a trial run for Dad.Work and 2022. We are going to hit the ground running. So if you enjoyed this podcast, please let me know. Send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow me on Instagram dadwork.curt, and subscribe if you haven't already on Spotify, on Apple wherever you listen to your podcast. And I think Spotify just added a rating button. So if you do listen on Spotify, would you give us a rating, I think you just go to the Dad.Work podcast and on the front page there is a star button. And if you haven't already subscribed or reviewed on Apple podcasts, that is also a fantastic way to do it. That's one of the best ways we can actually get more men is when we show up on more searches. In Apple we will be able to reach more men who will then be able to join our communities and help you along your journey and generally make the world a better place because like I said, this is life changing a world changing work because when we heal fathers, we heal families we heal children who heal the world and generations to come. So like subscribe, review, share, if there any fathers in your life who you think you could extend to and share this message with them. Please send them a link to the Dad.Work podcast or our Instagram or our website Dad.Work all that to say thank you so much for spending the time with me I appreciate you very much. Here's to a fantastic 2022 And we will see you next week starting off in 2022 with our three episodes a week with podcast, Instagram, all that kind of good stuff amazing things coming thank you so much. Enjoy your day
that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. It means the world to find out more about everything that we talked about in the episode today, including Show Notes resources and links to subscribe leave a review work with us go to dad.work/pod that's DAD.WORK/POD type that into your browser just like a normal URL, dad.work/pod You'll find everything there you need to become a better man, a better partner and a better father. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time.
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