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Today’s guest is Ryan Carnohan.

We go deep today talking about:

  • The TRUE definition of confidence
  • Why burnout is actually an opportunity to significantly level up in life
  • The importance of training yourself to suffer infinitely
  • How to prepare yourself for chaos and why it matters
  • Becoming massively disciplined
  • Ryan’s transformation from “Pizza Boy” to “World’s Greatest Hypeman”
  • The life-changing power of Superhuman Fathers

Ryan Carnohan is…BIO NEEDED.

Find Ryan online at:

Resources mentioned:
Fatherhood Field Notes


Curt Storring 0:00

All right, Dad's here for another episode of The dad work podcast with Ryan Carnahan. And this is the world's greatest tight man, one of my own coaches inside superhuman fathers. And the reason that I did 400 meters of lunges for 30 days straight because of this savage. So you guys are in for a treat. I

Ryan Carnohan 0:17

still can't believe I mean, now I know instantly. I knew you were savage after that, because that almost killed me. I can tell you right out the gates. He just went for it, man. It brutal. Blew my mind. It was brutal.

Curt Storring 0:29

Because of this. It's because of you being like, literally the world's greatest man, bro, your bro told me about that. I was like, okay, you know, he's probably fired up. And then he talked to you and you're just like, Let's go all the time. And I was like, oh, no, I better get going. Because Ryan's gonna see that I'm not going. And it just fired me up, man. So like, let's just start there. How the hell did you become such a hype man? Because guys, I want to get into why this is so important to have guys like Ryan around you. But let's just go there. How do you? Is this always how you been?

Ryan Carnohan 0:58

I'm not necessarily I've always been good at being excited for other people. So like, if you go back, growing up, you know, I just always, I always looked at other people were like, hell yeah, good for that guy. You know, but like, I never thought about me as, as someone who could do something special kinda, you know, I just kind of average like, I remember, like sitting on on the curb, or like nine years old watching some kid like ride a two wheeler, I was nine years old, I couldn't ride a bike it bro. Thinking Like, it's just never gonna be me. Understanding that, like, all I had to do was just risk something and like, get on a bike and go. And so that attitude kind of followed me a little bit through my life. And don't get me wrong. It's not like I wasn't, I hadn't gotten shit done. I mean, like, up till last year. I think I was the best Spanish teacher in the world. Like, if you talk to my students, like, I was the best, but I was just depressed. And, and I had a big transformation last year, man, I was I just was okay. So I would get home, I have a beautiful wife, I have three kids, okay. And I'm, I'm doing this great job fulfilling, right, you know, working with these kids and, and then I just get home and I just would feel like a shell of my former self, you know, I'm 3035 going to be 35. And I just, I look in the mirror and I didn't see the man that I thought I should see at that age. I hadn't accomplished what I should have. Because I spent all this time kind of excited for other people. You know, and but never really thought that I could do something. In fact, I go to church it I'm in Carlsbad, California, okay, guys, like, there's, there's money, I don't know how I have a little cave here. Okay, that I that I'm able to just, you know, and so, you go to church, and man, I'm surrounded by like, like lawyers, you know, like surgeons, you know, big businessman. And I just felt like one of the youth man, I just felt like, I just felt kinda like I was there. And I know, I'm kind of going on a tangent here. Really, really important. Because, for me, you know, one moment, and we'll talk about the superhuman father's program in a minute. But I just realized that wait a second, like, I just have to do it, and I am it. You know, like, I finally clicked yes, I just got to do it. And then I ended that, and all the sudden, a bunch of those guys, you know, a church or, or whatever, guys that I was intimidated by, dude, I'm suddenly their coach. And it's like, the message is nothing about me at all. Zero. It is that the currency of respect, the currency of self confidence, self respect, and the confidence and respect from others is discipline. That's it. And so I recognize it any aspect of my life in which I lacked confidence. I could find a corresponding lack of discipline and it was bleeding in my marriage, in how I treated my children. And honestly, even in my work, right, because we can always be better. So I kind of went on a tangent there. But that's this is. Yeah. And so that's, that's kind of where I was. And now I'm the greatest hype man in the world about transition. So you guys probably listened to the last podcast or one of the earlier podcasts with Kyle on it with the superhuman fathers program. And this is kind of a fun thing to talk about. So You look at Kyle, and you're kind of like, Okay, does he really do that first off, like seeing him on Instagram? And it's like, Yes, I'm his brother. He does. Yes. This is how he lives. Okay, number two, um, I was the undisciplined brother. So, you know, they, they called me pizza boy. You know, that was my nickname. And it's, you know, I literally, there was one Christmas party, what, two or three years ago that I went, and I selfishly ate the whole pizza. I didn't really realize it. And they bought me a full pizza, the next Christmas party, you know,

it's like, I was there, guys, I get it. Anyways. So I finally that moment, kind of, when you're talking about like, how did I, you know, become the world's greatest height man, or whatever, excited and doing 400 yards, lunges and finishing with a mile and just so hyped for everybody? Well, I looked at Kyle and I was like, okay, you know, I'm finally going to listen up. I just was like, I'm gonna be humble. And I'm gonna listen up. And this was the message is, is it discipline? is the currency of confidence. I lacked discipline. So I had to find it.

Curt Storring 6:18

And how, how the hell do you find it? Okay.

Ryan Carnohan 6:21

I was waiting for the question. Yeah, do you know, all right. Here, anywhere in your life. There's two reasons why you're not kicking ass every day. Okay, and this is in your marriage with your kids can be in work, but we can focus on marriage and kids, why not? You know, Dad wise? Well, you don't comprehend the massive impact that you have on the world, your impact is infinite. That's the first reason. And if you if you comprehend this massive infinite impact, we'll go into that in a second. And you still don't do the work. You know? It's just because you're afraid to you're afraid to give something up. And so I was playing with this idea, like, Okay, do I understand? And this hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't really know how but I, it's, I'm not a reader. Okay, guys, like, I'm not very, you know, I haven't studied the psychology of this of this change. But I, the universe has given me some nuggets of wisdom, because I went all in. And so what did I have to realize, because I wanted this so bad. Well, that My impact is infinite. And infinite, I had to change my mindset completely. And so I look at men on the other side of the world. And I go, their success is my responsibility. And that maybe sounds a little obsessive. But like, I look at you, Kurt, I'm like, your success is my responsibility, complete ownership of everybody's success. Now, why would I do that? Well, because it puts it gives me motivation. I recognize this, how is this possible? Let's zoom in, we'll zoom into the family. So I wanted to be a better dad, and a better husband. And we can look at that my kids are gonna have kids and their kids are gonna have kids and their kids are gonna have kids. There's infinite impact right there. Kurt, your kids, who knows man, like are our descendants may interact, and so your actions will have a direct impact on how your grandkids you know, it's crazy. I mean, at least until an asteroid. So, okay, we can go further with this. So that wasn't enough for me. I mean, that's a great thing, but still wasn't quite enough. And so I started recognize the impact that I have on every day and I look at what you do. Now we start to see what's happened. Look on Instagram, look what Kyle's doing, you know, look, that on superhuman fathers, look at how you're posting your thing and people start to resonate in this. And there are people that have changed their life because of you, because of your discipline. mind too. And there's people listening to this, that whatever, whatever discipline they've had, they've inspired people. Okay, so let's go deeper. I'm in the supermarket, let's say maybe you're in the supermarket, okay. And when your little ones is having a tantrum, okay, you know, whatever, like, this is that moment where you're like, oh, you know, and you have there's, there's a decision, there's something happening here. Well, there might be a guy in there watching you, you know, another dad, and he first notices your jacked arms. Okay, we'll talk about that, right? Because there's respect there's this will maybe you'll think that guy's jacked. And he's like, Oh, How's he gonna respond to this psycho kid, you know, because they're all crazy. And you respond with patience, love, and energy. And then it makes him think, oh, shoot, like, I, maybe I need to be a better dad and you don't even know it. And you've, he goes on this whole journey of trying to improve himself. And you don't even know you'll never know. But you changed his life, which means you change his posterity's life, just with that moment of being aligned. If you are misaligned in that moment, you'll miss it. And so this, bro, this is what gets me going, this is what I'm like, Oh my gosh, like, I have to get I get goosebumps. Because I recognize this, this power that I have, that we have every bit every man does to impact the world around us with our unwavering follow through. And so

this brings up the question like, Okay, well, how do I know what to do? You know, like, how do I get to that point? Like, where you just jumped? You didn't explain how you got there? Still? Will you just suddenly are this jack guy in the supermarket? Or? No, no? Well, it's it's brick by brick, or, you know, something else to help me. I'm just going to spit stuff off, you know, that helped me as a father and a husband. Because I may jump ahead in my thought process here. But let's, you know, if you all your identity as being a husband and a father, and we could talk about what we can replace that with, but, you know, if your wife hates you, like, you're gonna be hurting, you know what I mean? Like, or if you are, if you mess up, when you mess up with your kids, you're going to have trouble. Or if your wife leaves doesn't matter, like you're you are setting yourself up for disaster. What do I got to do? Okay? Well, this is because we tend to be perfectionist or want, we have this idea of what we need to be. And in every aspect of our life, if we don't do it, man, we self. We judge ourselves very harshly as men, and we don't share anything. First off. But the second thing there is the power of accepting imperfection and being grateful for it. So I had defined myself by my failure up to this point, remember sitting on the curb, I'm not a two wheeler guy, I can't ride a bike, you know, I failed. It's just like, Oh, I didn't get into law school. Whatever it is, I know, you know, there's, you know, it's whatever I'm, it's over. I'm a loser. Now. I thought this way. And so I would have the cyclical thoughts as a father and dad where I was failing. And what had brought me there where I'd failed before how many things I said I was going to do, and then I didn't do it. And then my wife would remind me not on purpose, per se, but like, then it would just cyclical, ah, terrible mud, the wind would be taken out of my sails. How did I solve this puzzle? Okay. I am not my failure. I am how I respond to my failure. That imperfection is the biggest blessing in the world. Yeah, I've become so grateful for imperfection, because imperfection. All it is, is you can replace it with the words, you know, limitless, unlimited potential, you. In fact, no matter how awesome you are today, you should and can be more awesome tomorrow. That's what imperfection provides us if we had a endpoint, a place that we needed to reach. Once we got there, we'd lay off the gas, you know. And so when you become grateful for your imperfection, then you can play with it. You know, you can sit in it, you can you can enjoy the growth, the progress, because you're not so much worried about a specific place you're trying to get to zero attachment to outcome. All attachment to process and system and what you know what you are every day. And so and if I'm if I'm going on crazy tangents, I promise I connect every Okay, well, we'll make it. Why not? It's not too hard. So, okay. I still did not answer the question. How do you know what to do? Okay, this is this is not even close. Well, first, you got to be okay with being imperfect. I guess what I'm saying. Okay. So then we find the elite self like I wanted to find the elite, the elite Ryan. Okay, whatever that looks like and I recognize that I didn't care what he had any more? Because where do we sit? You know, when my kids get older, it'll be easier. Oh, shit, I just missed all that time when they were little, right? When I get that job, I'll have a little more money, I'll be happy. Oh man, I spent years unhappy because I wasn't there, right? I was always in the future. Okay. So in this this state, we're always in the future, you can't identify who you are, you know, you got to be in the present. And so this and you do it by be identifying what the elite you does every day. And then you I've applied those things one thing at a time, non negotiable ly not everything. If I try to apply everything I'm going to negotiate. It has to be one thing at a time.

And then so people will ask me, Well, Ryan, do I have to make everything you know, a non negotiable for everything? No, because it's the same muscle, it bleeds, the discipline bleeds into every aspect of your life, which I'm sure you've experienced in the in the program a little bit, and we can talk about that too, you know, but So, okay. Still, how, right? Okay, now you know what to do? Like, how do you do this? Alright, so, and I've shared this concept with you, you know, the world doesn't really know this one, because it's my personification of the resistance, okay, or whatever you want to call it, and you can call whatever. But so I talked about the two reasons earlier, why you're sucking every day, right? One is you don't understand the infinite impact you have on the world. And the other one is you're afraid to do the work. There's a reason why you're afraid though. It's because there is an energy man, there's a negative energy in the world adversarial energy, call it whatever you want the devil, Satan. You know, the resistance. I call it the fake self. The fake Ryan. You know, I personna personified? I think it's a word, this energy now. What? How does it and why does it attacker so strongly? Well, it knows how impactful you are, and it doesn't have to make you bad. Like, that's the other thing does not have to make you bad. It just has to make it average. Because the average man inspires nobody. And so it's a pretty easy job. You know, it's not that. And so what do we do? Like, this is where you think, okay, you know, some point we're getting, we're getting somewhere with this thought process, right? Because, okay, well, how do I know if I'm average? How am I elite? You know, and how do I know he's manipulated me, here's here it is really? Okay. And remember, this is just the, my, the, what the universe has given me. Okay, maybe I should write the fake self by Ryan. You know, but anyways, um, so, it's a motion you guys a motion. If your actions in any aspect of your life are dictated by emotion, you are a slave to the fake self. Now, everyone is a slave to the fake self at a certain point, right? Because everyone has a threshold of only so much they can handle until you know, and then the emotion kids comes in. And this is what's so interesting. You know, because emotions, they must be satisfied. So, right, like, I'm angry. So the world was no, I'm angry. You know, I'm, I'm tired, I'm sore. So I need to rest or it doesn't matter what it is I even physical, I'm hungry. It makes you think about yourself, you have hunger, you know. And so this is it really makes the fake self wants you to think about yourself. It when the threshold breaks, you become selfish. And so what is really happening when you do that, okay, well, and what's causing that, you know, it's chaos. So, here at me, we're going to connect it all a little bit here. So chaos in my eyes, and it can be many chaos. Maybe it's a comment your wife made you know, maybe she ripped on you a little bit. That's a little bit of chaos, you know? Oh, that hurts. And so or maybe it's you're trying to reach a certain weight or you're working out and there's a doughnut on the counter. That's a little chaos right? It can be many does not have to be big chaos. Although we prepare for big chaos through these how we react to these small things. Now what is chaos to if we're not careful, chaos will separate you from your values from your conscience. So this is the elite self everyone knows who it is you have a concept you hate, you have your values and yours might be different than mine. So but chaos will disconnect you from your values if you haven't prepared accordingly. So here Here's something that I got in the squat rack. Okay, I got I had a myriad of maybe an argument my wife what I can't remember exactly was going on, but I was feeling a little. You know, man, I suck. Why do I suck so bad? And so I'm doing squats. And the first statement is my I was thinking about discipline and why it's related to confidence because I made that statement earlier, right? Discipline is the currency of confidence, you could argue, okay, well, discipline is the ability to act in line with, with one's values, one's conscience, despite circumstance or emotion, like it has to be non negotiable. True discipline is non negotiable. And we can talk about what that means to in a moment. But why is it so important? Understand that definition of discipline? Will because it's in line with your values? Right? Okay.

So then I was like, how is it connected to confidence? Why and I've never heard this definition of confidence ever. And I was like, hell yeah, I must be a fun because universes gave me a nugget. Okay. And this helps you in your relationship with your wife and your kids, especially. Confidence is the ability. Okay, the ability to connect? How would I say this? Confidence is the earned ability. Okay? The Earned ability to connect with one's values one's conscience amidst chaos. Why? Because confidence is not the ability to do things. It's not. Now that's fake confidence. You know, like in jujitsu, I go to jujitsu a lot. And like, oh, yeah, I'll feel so good on a show. And I get choked out every time. You know, like, every time I weird, so, so like, if, if its ability, it's going to fail, but no, no. True Confidence is knowing how to react respond to chaos in line with your values, you know, what to do? You know, what the elite you read, how he responds to whatever situation? And you can be totally confident in that response? How does that help you in your marriage? And, and as if, you know, as a father, dude, you can, you don't need anything from your wife. That way. You all your confidence comes from here, you don't need a pat on the back, you need nothing. So when she's written on you, as she should write because she's got needs to, and she needs to express these things. I mean, sometimes they can be nicer. Okay. But, but what, when, what it's done for me, or I think any man who does this is, is you win when there's an altercation. You go, Hey, conscience helped me out, bro. I've earned you. Where are you? Please? I need to know what to do right now. And usually my conscience is like, she's right. You know what I mean? Yeah. So zero ego, you know what I mean? Just say thank you for the critique and the opportunity to improve and continue on. Now. Sometimes, though, my values disagree. My contents disagrees. Do I need to let her know that? No, I don't. In fact, it's, I get to sit there and feel the confidence swell up inside me because I know this is the correct choice. And if she's angry about it, like I can give that as a her is give that to her as a gift. Like, let her be angry. I don't have to resent her. You know, like, I can just let her be angry. And maybe she's the fake self is dealing. She's dealing with that too. Right now, you know. So that was a little bit of a tangent, but man, it helps so much in those relationships. So I can go further. Is our connection still good?

Curt Storring 23:54

It's great, man. Yeah, it's great. And I'm just like, I'm, I'm in the headlights right now. I'm like a deer in the headlights going like, please go on. And the thing is, I've heard a version of this on our first call together, but man it is landing. So please carry on.

Ryan Carnohan 24:08

Okay, so All right, and maybe we won't walk on the marriage tangent yet? Or we could if you have questions about that later. But let's go into more like where this confidence takes us because we haven't gone deep enough yet still. Because I haven't got to how I still said why and what, but not how. And so we need to understand again what discipline is then, because we just gave you that definition, but really what is happening? I love this one. So whenever I'm confronted with a doughnut, you know, or at least you guys I'm really into fitness and nutrition right now. Okay, like, I'm kicking ass. Alright. But uh, but so like, okay, there's brownie, you know, on the counter. I have to sit in discomfort. When we talk about emotions, they need to feel satisfied. If I don't satisfy my emotion, there is some discomfort. Well, the conscience in my eyes, your values never want you to be comfortable, ever. There's only growth and discomfort only. So this, you know, you can take that to the extreme. But this is very helpful. Why? What is this teaching me? Okay? That threshold that I was talking about the one that will will reach and break and then the fake self comes in and manipulates you with emotions. What is that threshold? It is my ability to be uncomfortable, my ability to suffer, it's my suffering muscle. And it can be grown, or improved just like a physical muscle. And so that same day that I received, you know, this quote from the universe, I got another one. This one was like, dang, I think I figured this out. You know, I'm doing long sets to like I was doing trying, I was doing sets a 30 in the squat rack, just complete torture. And it says, Ryan, and it didn't say my name, that would have been cool. But it goes, the longer a man can suffer, the longer he can go without thinking selfishly. And I was like, day while as a father and a husband, if I can't, if I don't have the ability to suffer, I can't lead. Because when chaos arrives, if my suffering muscles too weak, I'm too quick to think about my needs. I'm too quick to think selfishly, to be able to lead. And so I this is what I do now, I am trying to build my threshold to such an extent that I can suffer infinitely. So I can serve infinitely in my household. And that that is what I pursue. I am no longer just a jujitsu guy, or a husband and a father. I'm the man who can suffer. This is my new identity. I am the man who can be uncomfortable. Why? Because I want to build that threshold. Like I said, I hope that I built it to such an extent that when chaos arrives, I mean, dude, God forbid what if my family died in a car accident, you know, that happens to do something that terrible that would seal me of all of my other identities. I need to be the man that hopefully when that happens, instantly thinks of all the other men that that's happened to. And I still act in line with my conscience and values. And I serve them by giving them no excuses. This is how I put the responsibility or six sorry, the success, the responsibility of other people's success other men on my shoulders. If I

become the best father ever, they will too. Because I don't I don't let them fall. And so what does that do? All of a sudden, everyone's posterity is my problem. Like there's 8 billion people on the planet. Do you think that there's any way that I can develop myself enough in one lifetime to impact 8 billion people? No. I'm going to try though. And all the other men that I impact, or that we impact, right? Because it's not about me, it's not about me, that we impact is man. All of a sudden, that some guy might change his life when they hear this podcast, the his posterity is changed. They'll change other people's lives. And then all sudden, there's 10. Guys, one guy if he he inspires 10 men and those, those men inspire 10 men and 10 and 10 and 10. And then maybe we have affected the 8 billion. This is my new mission. And I guess that's the superhuman father's mindset in Ryan's eyes.

Curt Storring 29:39

Man, that was intense. By the way. I feel like I need to either just publish that as its own thing. Or like, have a think about my life now. Let's go. Am I operating on that level? Do I have that level of impact? Do I have that level of care in that impact? act like am I showing up? In all those ways? Because everything you said resonates with me and like you're talking about goosebumps for a sec. I feel like I had goosebumps for last 30 minutes and nine seconds. Bro, how do you even go on from now? Okay, so let me just let me try and simplify here a little bit just in terms of like story. Yeah, I

Ryan Carnohan 30:20

did vomited. I vomited. That was amazing.

Curt Storring 30:23

Like, I'm so impressed. And it's got better every time that I hear little snippets of this from our call, or the Brotherhood calls or whatever. It's like, man, what you just laid down was, yeah, turn into a book man. Like, turn into a book and get into more people's hands, because there's more people to impact. But let me just get like, let me get that moment. Let me get that transformational moment on check, because good one, you're like, I've seen your Instagram photos, right? Like, you look like a Spanish teacher. And no offense, but like your your before picture was like some dude. And then you got shredded. And now you are jacked. Like, was it just oh, you know, Kyle is my bro. And he's like, jacked. I guess I better just follow him now. Or like, did you have a huge, you know, moment, we're like, man, because I've experienced guys don't change unless they hurt bad enough, or hopefully with you, me and everyone else before they're inspired to do so. So what was that transition for you?

Ryan Carnohan 31:27

I think it was both. But it was somehow I was in such pain from my worthlessness. Now, that takes out. Remember, you're not worthless. If you're listening to this, this is not what I'm saying. But in the My thought process that made me feel this way. And in my lack of accomplishment, again, this was this was the fake self. This was not me. But in the cyclical thought process, such pain that I just was done. And so if you're listening to this, I was there. I understand. And there's a way out. And in fact, guys, I became grateful for the resistance for the fake self. Why? Because I recognize no matter where you're at, the deeper he has you. The deeper he has you in his grasp. The more powerful man you can be, become, the more powerful man you can become. Why? Because there's other men deeper, if you're deeper in it than I was, guess what I need to? I need you why you have to make it out why there's men that I can't reach that you can because you were willing to go deep into the darkness. And right now, the fake self has you. And it's a catch 22 for him. Because if he if you escape his grip, you're bringing 1000s with you. And so, this my pain, and my lack of discipline and my lack of confidence, and my just uncontrollable, you know, urge for pleasure or whatever it was right? That got me to that place. Gave me the power to inspire everyone else because I can resonate, the message resonates because I was in the darkness and have escaped, you know. And so, I just already forgot your other question. Oh, but, but Yes. When did I know there was a change? This is fun. Okay, because we talked about non negotiables we can go into that now. Right? So you have to make something non negotiable. To practice. You can't do it to stop it. we redefine perfection. Okay, so I talked about how, yeah, we accept imperfection, but we need to define a perfection. And this is malleable. This is what's so fun. So you can creep it just like perfection when I go to the gym right now I hit dumbbell press this morning I got not very I'm still pretty weak guys. But I'm getting I'm getting better I think was 75 sub dumbbell 75 pounds. I for 11 reps. Okay? I was like, Okay, I'm happy that thing. Let's go. I'm gonna get 12 next time I go like to the death, right? This is I'm redefining perfection. Do the same thing with your non negotiables. Right. So, okay, there's transfer here. Now, going back to non negotiables. Like when I do that, I'm, it's like I'm skipping a step. I'm not waiting to hear my values or my conscience in chaos. I'm stamping my values on my forehead, like there's, you know, the in fact chaos. Oh, do this another thing is, it wasn't a call with another guy this is this exploded my brain when it came out of my mouth we were talking chaos. Chaos in your life is a trigger for selfishness or a trigger for selflessness depending on how you've prepared, okay? And so in a non negotiable moment in like, let's say to your macros or whatever food, like when you see that donut, the chaos of the donut has reminded you to be better. It's no longer a temptation. It goes, Oh, no, I'm skipping a step. Mike values are right here, boom. And as you as you begin to live this non negotiable, your connection to your conscience, it grows stronger. Hence, confidence has earned ability to connect with your conscience or values, right? Because it grows stronger as you build your non negotiables I have three, I hit my macros like a savage. My workouts have been like a 95%. Like my macros are number one, they've been 100% Dude. wakeups like 95% I get up before 430. So that's all I got, but it's bled because it's the same muscle. Now when chaos arrives, and I feel uncomfortable, I'm kind of like, oh, yeah, this is where I play, because this is where the growth is. Here's the story. When I recognized I was becoming this human.

I have a dog had a dog 12 years, my first child, okay, I have three children, six, four and 18 months. My wife is awesome. She is a social worker. And she you know, sometimes works from home and the kids are loud, you know? So I take them I take them out sometimes when she's working. And so I'm at the park with my kids. And I there was a scheduling issue. So I had not gotten my workout in yet. And I used to get in early. So I was already kind of like, Man, this is hard. And I'm only I'm only 40 days into my transformation at this point. Like I had started. I'm 40 days in. I'm still fat by the way. Like you guys, when you're in a physical transformation. When you look for outcome, you're going to fail you need to live the process because I looked in the mirror every day and still saw a fat guy for months. You're fat until you're not alright. And then one day I woke up and I was shredded. Alright, so Okay. That was a tangent. Let's go back. I'm at the park. I hadn't gotten my workout in yet. My macros, very important to me. I wasn't sure how I was going to hit up like something that happened and planned them out well. So I'm stressed already. Then I'm planning on throwing the door with a ball with my dog at the park with my kids and my dog dies. Seriously, has a heart attack. Like right in front of me just I don't know what it was. My dog just died. It was insane. Yeah, I'm like holding my dog. And I have kind of a dark humor a little bit. Even though I love this dog. Like, but my kids are like, what's wrong with Lola? And I'm like, I don't know where to go. Like, my wife's working at home. You know? They're like, poking her and I'm like, Oh my gosh, dude. And so I'm already hit LIKE to this I love this stock. Okay, the old me would have been like, Dude, we need a pizza now. Like we need to I need to escape this pain. Dude, the new me the one that understands the growth and suffering. The first thought that came to my mind was I'm still going to hit leg day. I'm still going to hit my macros today nothing's gonna stop me because it was my non negotiable that was a huge moment for me and guess what? I cried like a baby as I did my squats at night thinking about my dog and how much I missed her. And so why is it so important? Guys guys listening everybody you're you know what is required to be an inspiring human obstacles and inconvenient chaos that's all like people think they have to wait like when I have ABS I'll be inspiring No, you're inspiring right now if you choose to respond to chaos the correct way. So this is what it taught me right you don't have to wait to achieve it to have the confidence you can have the confidence right now. Because if you live like that man right now you are that man if you live like that dad right now. It doesn't matter what dad you've been that's in the past it does not matter. You are now new, you're reborn. And this is you chrome continue on. It's a mindset of the growth through imperfect through the dance with imperfection now. Okay. So what in my head now when inconvenience happens? Okay, when inconvenience arrives. What do I do? I look at it like an opportunity to inspire. So instead of having like, Oh, shucks, you know, like, oh, man, I have to stay in our work hour late at work, or my kid wakes up you know? In the middle of the night, and all of this sucks, man, I have to work tomorrow. Can't believe these damn kids. I'm not perfect. By the way. I still do this when they spill milk. Watch out. Okay, I will freak but I'm getting better. But now, I tend to lean more on the side of all I can't wait to tell the boys on superhuman father's team how hard my night was, because I'm still going to get after it today. You know what I mean? And this is what's so fun. I had a moment with my child. To this is crazy when I finally could look in the mirror and see the man that had been waiting for. And like, my kid, I don't know what to say about my daughter. I love her. But she throws up on me all the time. Like, like, it's not the other kids. This girl whenever she's sick. It's like, okay, I just hold her and it's gonna happen. This time. It's the middle of the night. She's throwing up. And, and I look in that I look in the mirror dude. And like, sounds disgusting, because it's throw up. But dude,

she act bro. Like I'm glistening in this like puke, you know? And I'm like, Damn serving my daughter. It's 3am I have to get up at 430 because my non negotiable to go to the gym that I got to coach all these guys. And I don't even I love this. So like, I'm just, it's glistening. And I see that man, dude. It's disgusting, right? But I see that man in the mirror like, and I'm just like, dude. Like, and I the old me, Pete, you know, pizza boy, as they call me. The old Spanish teacher. Nothing wrong. I was a great Spanish teacher. But I would have complained. I would have been like, I have 30 kids that I have to teach tomorrow. Like I have lessons. I have to be ready to you know what it's like? Do you know what it's like to teach? For eight hours a day? You don't? Okay. Sorry. That's the fake self score. No. Everyone has their own. Kyle Kyle. The owner and the badass of superhuman fathers, which you guys follow already? I'm sure. He calls him slim shaky. Slim shaky mindset fake Ryan. So but it is real. And you must crush him. Because when? Here's something else to why haven't I burnt out? This is a good one. Right? Because what? What happens? This is this is pretty good. I had to I had to figure this out. Okay. Because I always go and then I'd stop. Well, the fake self will give you motivation, right? Because motivations and emotion he'll give it to you just because he's an asshole so he can take it away. Okay, so like he's sneaky bastard. Now. Those days that you feel the worst. Okay, those days that you feel the worst. This is burnout. Burnout is not a bad day. Everyone's like, oh, when you hit burnout, you need to take a break. No. Burnout is the fake self having a slash tantrum his last hurrah. He's going to give you the most powerful emotions he can the worst circumstances have tried to keep you from hitting your non negotiable. I had a leg day. Dude in my leg. My leg lifts have increased like a psycho because I've gone insane okay. Because I was also super weak before but like we've had create great progress right? This day I woke up I'm leading all these students pizza boy is leading all the dudes the savages on superhuman fathers. There's like, fire captains retired Navy SEAL surgeons like, you know, there's all sorts of guys okay, it all sorts of guys, but like, there's some guys on there like, dude, how's he you know, I giggle at him. Like, you know, you were like a Navy Seal and you're calling me coach like, pizza boy. You know? Again, it's nothing about me. It's currency of respect when the man is discipline now. I forgot where I was going with this thing. It was Oh, yeah. Okay, burnout, right. So, leg day. I woke up and I'm leading these guys, man. And like if I don't do it, they're not going to do it. I'm talking this big game infinite impact. And yet, I'm feeling selfish. I used at that point used to judge myself for feeling selfish number one. Okay, dude. The love and gratitude are action words. So just like a just like a soldier was with your wife and kids is the same thing, man. If you don't feel it, take a breath. I'm sure the soul I've never been a soldier. So many of you talking about my ass here. But the soldier who's about to jump over the trench, you know, going into Anca I'm sure he doesn't want to do that. I'm sure he feels fear. But when you act brave, guess what? You are brave when you act Loving and act, have grateful actions attached to your gratitude than you really are grateful. And so I'm sitting there and I'm, I'm like, I do not want to do leg day today, like, No, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not I'm done. I want to quit. I'm like, Why do I feel so terrible? And I'm like, shit, dude, I'm going. So I go show up to the gym. I paste the squat rack, it's taken me a long time on pacing. I do not want to do this. Still questioning why, dude, I increase all my leg lifts that day, but like 25%. Wow, the level up always comes right after the greatest resistance. It's right after. And so you see people that will tickle it, you know, but then burnout hits them. And they're like, oh, I need a break. And they get stuck in this like pattern of getting a little better. I'm going to slow down Oh, it's holiday season. So you know, or whatever it is, you know, it doesn't matter.

If it's like you reach a new level, it's a new baseline. And then that guy's zombies are fake selfies never going away. And so it'll just be the next level that you reach. Because the next level is access to more inspiration, you're going to provide more and spark inspiration to the world. Here's another thing too. I'm just spitting off my weird brain here. But here's another cool thing. I mentioned, you don't have to wait to have the results to have the confidence, right? Someone could argue well, okay, so can I take some days off then? Because, like, when I when I leave, I'm going to have the confidence when I live that day the way I should? And actually, I'd argue Sure, you probably could. But guess what? Consistency equals impact. It's not about you. The reason why you need to be a confident man and you need to be consistent is because there's more eyes on you. And so if you're not consistent, you will never have the impact that you could and you're gonna leave people out that there was moments that you threw away for a numb numb for a nap for a little drink, you know, drink with the boys for you know, when it's like you're a baby man, you know, as like a baby. It's like me, me, me, me. It's like, the fake self is a baby, you start as a fit of fake self and you become the man, you know, through your ability to be uncomfortable and look at that as opportunity for growth. Again, this is just the crazy mind of the world's greatest height, man.

Curt Storring 47:38

Oh, man. Yeah, I love that. There's so much on that. And I get that question all the time. Like, even this morning, I just made a story. You know, I was up at 430 Obviously. Oh, yeah. You don't miss I don't miss it. You know, we don't miss it's non negotiable. Let's go and I got this guy who is like, like, Oh, are you gonna burn out? Like that? Seems like I don't know, like existentialism, like, already. What do you do? And are you sure? Like, aren't you gonna get sick? Like, no, no, I don't think so. And like, I've experienced this too, before, though, in the past, where, here's the thing, we're gonna get into superhuman fathers in a second. But here's the thing for me. I showed up at like 80th percentile. And that's better than most people. And I'm using comparative language here on purpose. It's like, I'm better than most people. That's enough, right? But I was not the best version of me. I was not the best father, the best husband, I didn't. I wasn't able to look myself in the mirror like you and Kyle say and be like, man, thank you. I respect you now. And so what this has done for me, is it's pushed me to go to I need to be 100% percentile. I need to be number one, knowing you'll never get there like you go. But when it comes to that burnout piece, it's like you said it's an opportunity. It's that I am so hardcore. I am so hardcore that I'm going to do this and min nobody can say anything to me. Undeniable, and then I'll be able to serve and lead and I just do more anyway. And so the more that I have done, the more I can do and that's been so trippy. It's this paradox of I should be so much more tired. Dude. I've never had more energy in my life in the past 74 days whatever. It's been in sane so guys do more. Do not listen that little fake self Cry Baby you're so right and that little numb numb. Oh, I just It tastes good though, bro. Dude, I put down a piece of beef jerky probably like three calories you've probably tasted you know, okay, because it's healthy. It's homemade wasn't even a donut. I put that down I was like I don't do this. Not a chance because like you guys say you want to risk all of this you want to risk your influence for a little taste on your lips. Come on. Anyway, let's get a superhuman fathers man cuz you guys just jacked me up so much. What do you got to say about this man because I can just give you my sort of testimonial here and everyone can go and sign up but give me a little would have a like a primer on what this is because, guys, I think Kyle's episode is already the second most downloaded when it was like five episodes ago. So you guys have heard about this probably before, but if you have not lay it on us,

Ryan Carnohan 50:12

super young father, I mean, really, it's a it is a men's group. You can say leadership program, but it's also it's everything it is the all encompassing. You want to be the greatest gift to the world. Like, this is what you need to do. You need to be your highest self to be your greatest gift for your family, your wife and kids. supremium fathers teaches you how to do that, while at the same time providing a community of two there's no assholes in there. There's no absolute like, they're gone there. This place is completely transparent. Man. There's the most honest, caring men in there. And it's a place where you can be like, this is where I'm shitting the bed boys. And some guy will be like, oh, yeah, I did that. You know, there's no like, it's finally a place where you can share those things. And you're provided the tools, mostly in mindset. Right? To overcome those obstacles, kind of like you mentioned that burnout, you become the man that when it hits you go, there's people in this program that they might hit burnout too. And if I give in Will they give in? Right? So it creates a your accountability from every angle, like from above, from the coaches. Right, Kyle and I and Chris, we he's a savage, you guys, Chris is a savage. But okay, there's accountability from the side. So you know, the other guys in the group. And guess what? After a few weeks, you feel responsible for the new guys coming in. And so you can't escape it. And it becomes this group that's just so always there for you. Like always there either inspiring it ready to hear you when you're having trouble to give feedback when you need it. But in a way that is zero shame. Like there's zero shame there. Only inspiration only hype. And so, for me, this is what I've seen it. You come in usually the hook is fitness. Usually people go like, well, I just want to look bad, I want to feel like I did when I was younger. And all of a sudden, they're like, dude, I'm the best dad ever been. Like, I'm the best husband, I'm patient now with my wife and kids. I, you know, I'm working harder. I'm towards my promotion, I'm building a business that I never thought I could, you know, and the reviews are just, it's just amazing. And so that is the superhuman father's program, man. It's just a place where you can come and there are so many savages around you that you can't help become a savage yourself.

Curt Storring 52:53

Well said, Yeah, and I would. I would just add for the guys out there. I highly recommend this. And I was the same sort of way I saw. Like I came across Kyle on Instagram. And I was like, this is like the first man who's ever made me feel like a lazy POS. Like, I thought I was good. I thought I was doing stuff. And like I'm doing nothing compared to this guy. And I wanted some of that. So I got him on the podcast. And we're just like talking for business and business wise, like 10 minutes after the show. He didn't even say anything about the program was like, Hey, man, can I join? Like, I just want to be around this energy. And yes, it's great, because I'm down like 23 pounds or something like that. And I didn't do it. I didn't have 23 pounds to lose in my head. It's like maybe 10 pounds, but not even I'm not even

Ryan Carnohan 53:34

getting shredded belly veins.

Curt Storring 53:37

That was my goal the whole time. We're almost there. We're almost there. And it's so close. Anyway, I have loved this program. And I want you guys to join me in it. I want you to join like, dude, I'm launching more of my own stuff. And I'm always doing my own stuff. We've got lots of guys in our programs. And yet, I am so happy to get guys in superhuman fathers because I know not only as like a leader of men, yeah, okay, this works. But now as one of the men being led by you and Kyle, like you said, every other man in there, it works. And it's worth it. And I do more and I feel better. It's fantastic. So here's me as a program Creator as a guide, as a coach myself. I'm telling you guys, join superhuman fathers and I got you can sign up for a call and intro call, I think you can go to Dad.Work slash superhuman, that'll take you right to the links for that. And I highly recommend you guys join me because getting on a call with this image you guys will tell anytime you want. Oh, it's crazy. Sometimes man, he'll be like, I don't know, just send a text or whatever, as a coach, and it'll be the most fire up thing ever. And I'm ready to just run through the day and I'm like, I'm not feeling great about my pictures. You're like, bro, you're looking so good. And I'm like, Oh wait, I am doing well. Thanks. Thanks, Ryan. So anyway, like there's so much to say here. There's so much to do. But guys, this has been perhaps the greatest monologue that you've ever heard. Ryan laid it on us and like just Incredible dude. So let's see where else you want to go from here.

Ryan Carnohan 55:03

Listen to this. Okay, pizza boy, leads this team, pizza boy. pizza boy scares Kyle with his discipline now. Okay. If the message here is if I can do it. I know you can. And that's the beauty of this. If I can do it, I know you can. And let Kurt let me let all the boys be right by your side as you do it. You know? Let's go.

Curt Storring 55:35

That's so good. And you know what I've thought about that too, man. All of my best traits all the things I'm most grateful for. All grew in the gardens of my deepest wounds. All of them are. And that's that's the same thing man is that pizza boy to absolute savage hate man. And the same sort of thing, man like I've been on. I've been on the doors of thinking I was the worst thing in my family's life. And I need to end it all. And here I am today. Feeling incredible. And so you me we can bring guys along? And what a blessing and let's not lay that mantle down because there's guys whose lives are being saved every single day through these programs.

Ryan Carnohan 56:15

Right on and so if you're not following superhuman fathers, go and follow them right now. Okay. Or us? Kyle? Really, because he's, he's the big dog. If you want to hear some of my rants, World's Greatest hate man, and Instagram. And I'm gonna throw a plug in here because I started a podcast, actually. And I've watched you on it. We'll talk later. Let's go steal dad stole that podcast. So you know, maybe I can give you the link and share with these boys. But I gotta do it. And so it's in big dawg. And so you've inspired me your your tweet, like dumps are fire. Thanks, bro. Like, dude, like they are so it's just so fun to have one that tickles you and you're like, Oh, shit. There's another? Oh, yeah. More, more. So, yeah. Thank you. I use those myself.

Curt Storring 57:10

Oh, yeah. Thanks, brother, man. Okay, well, we'll put all those notes if you want to join. We'll give links at Dad.Work slash podcast. That's where all the show notes are all the resources we mentioned, will be on that page. Check them out. Thank you for being here with us listening and Ryan. Man, thank you so much for just breathing life and every single man who listen to this, because it's going to hit back 1000s and 1000s of guys, so thank you, brother.

Ryan Carnohan 57:31

Thanks for the opportunity. been a blast.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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