#45. Picking Them Up For The Last Time – FRIDAY REFLECTIONS

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Welcome to this episode of Friday Reflections by Dad.Work!

Every Friday I share the best of what we have been doing in the Dad.Work community, to provide perspective, new ideas, and motivation for you to continue on your journey to becoming the best man, partner, and father you can be.

Today’s episode is a short one, but one that covers a potentially massive mental reframe for dads.

I remind you that at some point, you will pick up your child for the last time…and have no idea it’s the last time.

Which is why we must treat each moment as if it is our last – by being deeply present, noticing all there is to notice, and placing our awareness on all that we do.

Get inspired to spend meaningful time with your family this weekend that will give your life a sense of deep purpose and peace, and listen to this episode of the Dad.Work Podcast.

Welcome to the Dad.Work Podcast!

It’s my goal every episode to help dads suffer less, love more, and parent confidently.

We’ll be diving into mindfulness practices, healing trauma, conscious parenting, natural living, compassionate communication, the spiritual aspect of fatherhood, and more.

There are a lot of amazing teachers and guides who help men become more aware and conscious, but there’s not a lot of resources for men who are both fathers and interested in a mindful exploration of consciousness and improvement.

This podcast aims to help bridge that gap.

Resources, Links, Show Notes:


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Curt Storring 0:00

Welcome to the Dad.Work podcast. My name is Curt Storring, your host and the founder of Dad.Work. I've got a short episode for you today because this one is potent. This is an idea that I have been thinking about for a number of years now, but it was recently brought back to my attention after reading a number of books, one of which was 4000 weeks by Oliver Berkman, the other was silence in the age of noise, by Erling cogat. These books talk a lot about meaning, and time and moments, and making the most of life and not being so obsessed with the productivity rat race. And this idea that I only spend a few moments on will change your life, if you can remember it, and remind yourself of it each and every day. So I'm going to get into it without further delay. This is a short episode Friday reflections. And I would love to hear if you can implement this over the weekend. And what changes let me know on Instagram Dad.Work, Kurt, or email Curt at Dad dot work without further delay, here's this week's podcast Friday reflections number 45. picking them up for the last time.

Dads, I want to talk to you about something today that is both tragic and necessary to understand to live an excellent life and be a great father and make sure that you do not miss the moments as they're happening. And the idea is this, you will one day pick up your child for the last time. You will one day read them a bedtime story for the last time, you'll pack their lunch for school for the last time you hug them. For the last time, you'll will tell them you love them for the last time. One day, you will wake up in the morning for the last time. And the tragedy of this is that we will have no idea. When the last time is happening in the moment. There's no way to know that this might be the last time. Stop taking time with your kids for granted. Stop taking your life for granted. Treat each moment as if it were truly your last because that is the only remedy for this truth. This fact of the world that one day will be your last treat each moment like it's your last because one day it will be I know this hits hard for a lot of guys. It does, certainly for me. But it's also very hopeful because it allows me to choose where to place my awareness each and every moment, what am I going to find meaning in today? Am I going to scroll on my phone for longer? Or am I going to go be with my children with my wife, am I going to hug them, hold them, play with them, be triggered by them deal with all the negative emotions that comes with being triggered and overwhelmed as a busy dad. I'd much rather that I would much much rather that knowing that these moments are finite, than to waste them waiting for some future day when everything is going to feel better when I'm going to be better when all my to do list is done. Because this is our life passing us by right now. So the next time you pick up your kids, treat it as if it's your last. Next time you hug them, treat it as if it will be the last time you do so. Notice and experience each moment so fully and completely. That if it truly is your last you'll die with no regrets. If you're waiting for some moment in the future, like I said, when your to do list is done when you have saved just a bit more money. When you've put in just a few more years at work to start living. Stop. This is your life. You're living it right now, even in each moment you think you are delaying it to some later date, as rom das said, Be here now. Each moment has an opportunity cost? Where are you choosing to place your attention throughout the day, and at the cost of what? Everything you do? You will do one day for the last time. So don't miss it. I want to read you a quote from the book 4000 weeks by Oliver Berkman. And this is one of the books that has renewed my interest in this thought process. He says and indeed, there's a sense in which every moment of life is the last time it arrives, you'll never get it again. And once it's past your remaining supply of moments will be one smaller than before. To treat all these moments solely as stepping stones to some future moment is to demonstrate a level of obliviousness to our real situation that would be jaw dropping, if it weren't for the fact that we all do it all the time. So find meaning in the mundane. Stop taking a single moment with your children for granted. Life doesn't start at some point in the future when you get a little further ahead. This is your life. Live it now something that Seneca once wrote the classic stoic philosophy He wrote, We are not given a short life, but we make it short. And we are not ill supplied but wasteful of it. Life is long if you know how to use it. And finally, I'm going to read you a quote from the book silence in the age of noise by erlin, Kaga. He says, telling a story of attending multiple 16th 17th 18th birthday parties as he himself ages. And he says, I can tell you the most common remark heard at these parties is, of all those days that came and went, I didn't realize those were life. And so all of these things I've just shared, all of the quotes all of the ideas, life is finite. The moments you have are finite, you make meaning with putting your attention on things. If you put your attention on a crushing it at work at the expense of your family, if you put meaning on playing games on your phone, instead of hugging your children and wrestling with them. That is what you are claiming as meaningful in your life. Is that good enough? It is so impossibly likely that you're even alive today that you were ever born, compared to all the versions, all the statistical probabilities that you wouldn't have been born or that somebody else would have been born. It's almost impossible for you to have been here. And Are you really willing to allow your life to pass by where meaning is attributed to wasting time to playing a game on your phone, or to working nonstop for what? So you can one day spend more time with your family, when you've got a little bit more money? What is the point? Each moment is passing, we'll never get back, started treating it that way. Use this as a wake up, call an alarm clock, if you will, to start living your life, to be intentional, to be mindful, to make the most out of each moment that you have with your family, you have been blessed to become a father. It's not easy. It's never easy. You've never done this before. In fact, it's often triggering and crazy and overwhelming. And we often have no idea what we're doing. And yet, you are one of the lucky ones. The childless men amongst us will never know how this fields will never truly understand the heart opening potential. The vitality that comes from creating a child and being in that child's life and seeing them grow into their own person while holding on to parts of you that you have given them. There's nothing like it, is it good enough to waste your time knowing that you have the opportunity to do otherwise?

I don't think so. It's a constant struggle. I'm not perfect at it. Obviously, I'm constantly struggling against this societal pressure, to be busy, to do it all to wait to delay gratification. And delay gratification is great. It's a sign of maturity, but not when it comes to spending time with those you love. I'm doing this podcast at the end of the day, I'm going to plug my phone in, and I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to check in with my family, I'm going to spend the rest of the night with them. Because I have been at work enough. Earlier on, I was able to take a walk with my wife and kids in the middle of the day. And I'm very fortunate to be able to do that. But it's about taking those times whether it's right after work 510 minutes each kid's wife, whatever you can manage, start making a little things important. And make sure that you don't waste any moment moving forward because you will never get them back. Dads if you're not already subscribed to our 14 day free email course. It's called better man better dad, I'll send you 14 days of emails sharing the best tips, practices, techniques and wisdom I have learned on my journey. Going from an angry, miserable, immature father to a calm confident leader in my home. You can sign up for that right now. It's free. Just go to dad dot work slash email. That's Dad dot work slash email. And I will send that to your inbox right away. If you have been enjoying this podcast, would you please consider rating and reviewing it on Apple. In fact, if you listen to Spotify, they've also added a rating mechanism. I think you just go on to the podcast page and near the top by the title. There's a little star icon that you can collect. I would very much appreciate that. If you have got anything out of this podcast so far. For all of you listening. I appreciate you very much. And I look forward to being back here with you on Monday with new interview with an amazing guest. Thank you for listening. Enjoy your weekend

that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. It means the world to find out more about everything that we talked about in the episode today, including Show Notes resources and links to subscribe leave review work with us go to dad dot work slash pod that's di d dot w o RK slash pod. type that into your browser just like a normal URL, Dad dot work slash pod. You'll find everything there. You need to become a better man, a better partner and a better father. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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