Curt Storring

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Dad.Work podcast. My name is Curt Storring, your host and the founder of Dad.Work. This is episode 44 positivity systems and intentionality with my guest Yarti. Kim, we go deep talking about making a conscious choice to be happy, actively reaching out to mentors for help and your fatherhood journey. Getting through the initial struggles of being a father, finding positivity and everything that happens to us, focusing on our work to achieve our goals, balancing family and business, self improvement and development is father, Balancing Your Business despite all the challenges faced with a busy family systematizing your business to create time for other things and delegation in your business Yarty. He is the CEO and founder of growth year a personalized growth marketing service, helping b2b small businesses scale their business growth. He's also the co founder of a four year virtual Bookkeeping and Tax Services, a nonprofit board member trains in BJJ, and runs the kick ass life newsletter, you can find it online at growthyour.com, kickasslife.co yartykim.com, or on Twitter at Yarty Kim, that's YARTY. I am Yarti is also a member of this community, I'm a part of and have been for the last few years of location independent entrepreneurs who travel around the world and live around the world and run their own businesses. And it's just such a high quality group of people that I'm so grateful that God was able to share with us because, again, this is not his usual thing. This is not his business. This is not anything other than Him sharing the practices, the struggles, the vulnerability of him as a father, and this, I think is one of the greatest parts of the show. And so we dive into experts, we dive into dads, we dive into business owners, anyone who's willing to talk about the things that have worked for them, because you don't have to be an expert to have done some work. And if you as a listener, get even one positive piece of information out of this, then it's all worth it. In my opinion. That's what I have done for the last number of years listening to podcasts. So I am extremely grateful that you already spend time with us today. And I think you'll get a lot out of this episode, including just his desire to find positivity in everything. With that being said, let's dive into Episode 44. With you Yarty Kim, here we go.

[00:2:06] Thank you so much for joining me. And this is just so cool, because we're in this community together for sort of traveling entrepreneurial business owners. And I just love that you offered to come on here, because this isn't your business. This isn't like anything that directly impacts you. And yet you're willing to share. And so this first of all is like very gratifying for me that you're willing to step up. And yeah, man, I just want to say thank you. And welcome.

Yarty Kim

[00:02:27] Thank you so much for having me. And yeah, this is a topic that's near and dear to my heart. I'll probably go into it as we kind of dive in deeper. But I've had a very interesting and challenging life. And so being a parent, while running a business has been two of the most challenging things I've been through. So yeah, I'm excited to share what I know and things that maybe could help other fathers out

Curt Storring

[00:02:46] there. Amazing. Yeah, that's exactly what we do this too is because like, you don't have to be a fatherhood expert. You don't have to be you know, parenting guru, you just need to be able to share a relatable story. And the more I heard in like men's groups and talking to guys, the more I was like, oh my goodness, I'm not alone. And that helped me just like, finally stop being so guilty, to be honest. So like, I would love to start because I think we talked before this, and you said like becoming a father was a bit of a struggle. And I relate so hard to this. So could you just start by walking us through what your life was like, and then sort of leading up to fatherhood? And why was it so much of a struggle for you?

Yarty Kim

[00:03:24] Yeah, I'm happy to kind of share this. And I'll try to be as transparent and partially vulnerable, vulnerable on it too, because it'll make more sense as we kind of get in. So yeah, I've had an interesting life, you know, I've lost both parents at a very young age, also lost another family member. And so my mental state was just all over the place. And it took a long time for me to get to a point where I could be happy. And it took a lot of trial and error. And I didn't have essentially didn't have a father figure growing up. And so a lot of the things that I've learned were through just really painful lessons, honestly, like just, you know, things that I didn't know. And I only knew them as I've gotten just really great mentors throughout my career. And eventually, you know, my wife and I decided that we wanted to try for a child. And truth be told I was really nervous. You know, because being a parent like that there are people out there who are just super excited. I mean, I'm excited. But you know, I think just because of what I had gone through my life, I was worried that you know, what if my child daughter or son goes through what I went through, and I've always said that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies to go through that. But yeah, when he arrived, it was just, you know, a moment of just bliss. Just the excitement, exuberance. And then yeah, then the reality settled in that, well, I'm a parent now. And all those days where I was, you know, chest, basically shouting for help. And then now I'm at this point where I'm a father now. And, yeah, just realize that this point, like, you know, I get to change the course of you know, where this family goes. And I've always been a big, big believer of just Extreme Ownership. I know that there's a great book Jhalak Winco that talks about this, and I used to be a wrestler. I used to compete in MMA, and I'm a purple belt in jujitsu. And so the key lessons I've learned from those is just, the results are always directly impacted by what I do. And so if I'm happy, I have to make a concerted effort to be happy. I'm a big believer that it's harder to be happy than it is to be miserable. So I make a conscious effort to be as happy as possible. And that translates directly to my family, to my kids, and to the friends around me as well.

Curt Storring

[00:05:24] Wow. Well, what how do you be more happy than you have? Do you have things that you have done then to like actively do that? Because I agree, it's easy to just get into this, like victim mindset complaining, all these things are wrong? What are some of these things or tools or practices or habits that you've developed to find more happiness?

Yarty Kim

[00:05:41] Yeah, that's a really good question. I mean, for me, the obvious answer has been sports, you know, I've been a big sports person for a very long time wrestling is my sport. And what I always loved about it was that it kicked my butt. And you just but I also realized at the time, and there's a really funny story of when I joined the team, my coach said to me, Yarty, 10, people are going to try out, eight people will quit, maybe two of you guys joined. And for whatever reason, I just remembered that I was like, Well, I'm not going to quit. So let's try this. And short story ended up making the team becoming varsity. And I just, I felt happy because it was just something that I could control other things that just make me happier, just like silly things that happened the day, you know, my son looks at the smoke detector. And he calls it the the traffic moon, because of the red dot, and it's the funniest thing ever. And like, I just laugh at that, or I listen to a podcast and someone makes a joke. And it's just, I laugh with it. It's just like, this is fun. And I'll watch silly clips on YouTube. I laugh at that, you know, I try to make sure that don't take life so seriously. Because truth be told, when I was in college, I was alone. I was I didn't have any extended family. And so it was, I didn't realize it until much later, I was very serious, someone miserable. And I couldn't really enjoy it. And so now I've gotten to a point where I can just enjoy it laugh, have some habits and systems in place where those things, I allow myself to be happy. So yeah, it's been a fun journey, learning these things over more than almost 20 years now.

Curt Storring

[00:07:11] Yeah. Yeah, amazing. And we'll get it we'll definitely get in if people are listening, we'll get into habits and our pardon me systems, and managing things intentionally. And that's sort of what I heard in this is just like making a conscious choice to be happier. And just finding ways to do that. And like that's, so I was thinking about that actually, like, just before this call, I had lunch, and I just lied down on the couch. And I was like, Oh, this is really relaxing. I'm pretty happy right now. I watched my, like, almost two year old play. And I was like, Oh, this is nice. And so like, I didn't even think about it. I just kind of enjoying it. But I love the action that you take to go anyway, to find happiness. I want to come back to sort of what it was like when you first had a kid and like the struggles you faced. But one of the things you said in there was finding mentors, in lack of of having a father around. And I'm so sorry to hear that. And it just breaks my heart because man, that's one of the scariest things I think for my kids. My dad's either, and I was 25. But I still felt like wasn't enough time. And yet, yeah, he had other children. My half sisters are like seven when that happened. And I like man, I just feel so grateful. So in all of that, like there's never enough time with their fathers. They're just never is how did you find mentors to fill the gaps? Yeah, well, I

Yarty Kim

[00:08:25] wouldn't even say I was actively looking for mentors. It just so happened that, you know, people that I worked with my managers, my directors, my executives, they had kids. And so when I was getting to that point where my wife and I were discussing having a child, I naturally just reached out to them said, like, what's it like to have kids and you know, I make a very concerted effort, again, not just with my own family, but with the people have been in my life to stay in touch on a monthly or BI monthly schedule. I have my own personal CRM, where I keep contact with these people. And they gave me some really great advice, you know, being you know, being present in the moment. I even had a mentor of mine who said, yeah, you already I put so much effort into my work that next thing I know, my child is 13 years old and 13 years have gone by. And I had shared earlier that, you know, I lost my parents at a young age. And so I never had these moments with them. And so I think about, I like to do this weird thing that I call visioning, where I visioned myself, you know, as if my son is already 1315. And I think about what if he's in my shoes where my father, you know, because he was a first you know, he was an immigrant from Korea, and he had to work and because I didn't understand at the time, he never came to any of my games and anything that I had at school. And it wasn't until he was gone that I started putting the pieces together going, Oh, wow. So I think about these things. And I, when I talked to my mentors that have have kids now, they give me just really great advice. And I take that to heart. You know, I'm a big believer of anyone who just opens up and is willing to give their time. I'm extremely grateful for that. So I think Everything to note, I have this habit I'll share later where I journal every single day. And it really helps me to stay focused, I have a section that just says positive, what made you happy. And the whole point of that session is anything that made you happy, because my my track record is always, if I can't find one thing that I'm happy about, I know, it's just a natural progression to me being miserable. So I have to find something that makes me happy.

Curt Storring

[00:10:24] Wow, that is so cool. I am so excited to get into the system as part of this. I won't jump ahead quite yet. I want to say one thing I heard in that is like, like you took the active step to reach out. Absolutely. And for anyone listening, like you are currently doing that you're listening to this, you're hearing from other dads and trying to glean wisdom from them. But I really like the idea of when you're wanting to be good at something, reaching out to someone who you see as being good at that thing. Like, just in my own life. Like, I only care about the opinions of people who are doing well. And the thing that I want to get better at, like when family or friends are like, Oh, what are you doing? Like, you know, some negative stuff coming? And I'm just like, Wait, are you a believable in this arena? And you know, the answer is no. And so it's easier to sort of shrug these things off. And I just love for anyone listening who wants to get better at something like find a mentor, like my oldest son wants to get into hunting and outdoorsman stuff, and all this kind of this just natural living outdoors and survival. And like I can camp but I don't know any of that. Like, I never learned that. And so what I'm going to do this year is like find a mentor, we're just gonna go out and learn it. So I just want to make like a little point there for guys to like, reach out to people in their circles to get better at that kind of thing. I wouldn't. Yeah, I'm excited for to myself, actually. Is there anything else? Actually, before I before I say, oh, man, okay, I'll let me start again here. When you became a father, what were the struggles that you faced? And how are you still getting through them today? Yeah,

Yarty Kim

[00:12:02] this is a long one. And I'm sure there's other parents who are a little further ahead in the journey. But my are little guys, two and a half years old at this point. And, you know, everyone tells you like asleep, you know, just, you're gonna be focusing more on your kid versus your business. And I had heard this over and over, but, and I was telling myself like I used to do in wrestling, like I got this not going to be an issue, I'm going to grind through it. And then those, that first two, three months just hit me in the face really hard. What? Yeah, what I didn't realize was how hard it was going to be with that lack of sleep. And so yeah, like, you know, a lot of parents said, they have this, you know, alternating schedule of sleeping. So, you know, Dad's sleep from, you know, I don't know, you know, 6pm to midnight, and then the mother takes over from that. And we figured, hey, well, we're better than than that. We can? No, it was, it was really, really hard. And yeah, we quickly changed that schedule up into, it became a lot easier. What was good about that struggle, though, was that it gave me the opportunity. Again, like I had said earlier, you know, I always try to find the positives and everything, because I'm a big believer that you can find something positive. So what ended up happening is, when he was sleeping, and I was feeding him, I ended up reading, I think something like six books in that first month, I just read a lot, just read a lot, listen to podcast. And it really, really helped. Because I'm, you know, for me learning and growing is still extremely important. And I tried to make sure I fit that in no matter what. And so that kind of alleviated some of that challenge. The next challenge then became kind of, you know, you know, Is he hitting those milestones and stuff, because, you know, I just figured everyone's at their own pace. And my wife was saying, Oh, no, like, he's not hitting these milestones. So like, we then actively try to teach them how to crawl and do these things as well. And, yeah, it was interesting. And then as he got past that one year mark, into that one, one and a half, he started becoming a little more mobile started chatting a little more. And I realized, like trying to run a business and do that, you know, had to be more involved. So I slowly started cutting back and it was a challenge at the time, but in maybe start to think about more delegation and prioritization. And now we're at this two and a half mark, where I've realized I'm just delegating even more now at this point, and even to the point where I realized that in order to delegate, it has to be a constant reminder on my schedule. So I use a tool called click up. And any task and project that I have, I have a custom field that says outsource delegate, and it's a simple checkbox. And I have a section as well as a custom field that says level of effort, anything that's medium and high, I started delegating, I don't worry too much about you know if it's cost effective or not, because you know, we have a business that generates cash when we I'm a finance guy, originally. So I know our margins. But it really, really helps us to kind of just focus on the most important things without trying to focus on 30 different tasks at one time, and it really has helped me kind of stay focused as well because I'm one of those people who just likes to dive in Everything but being a father and having a son that tugs at me every second, like, I know that that's extremely important. And I always tell myself, family over business, you know, I have a guiding principles guide on my notion table. It's just 20 different principles that I have. And the very first one is family over business, family over business. So it's just a constant reminder. And I know that I'm very much a systems guy. So having those checklists in place, and daily reminders keeps me on track.

Curt Storring

[00:15:28] Amazing. Yeah, this is just like a way to intentionally build the life that you want to live by the sounds of it. Absolute work, were there any things that you yourself had to work on becoming a dad, because for me, like my kids brought up a lot of shadow, a lot of things that I was still in pain, from my own childhood wounding the way that my interaction was with my dad at the time, like, all of these things came to light only because my kids just triggered me so much. And I was angry, and like, they really got me started. I'm eternally grateful. They really got me started on this path of self improvement, development, healing growth. Was anything like that. In your story? Did you do work to sort of, I don't know, mental health work or self exploration or anything like that?

Yarty Kim

[00:16:20] Yeah, that's really good, actually, that you brought that up? So yeah, so my dad was, you know, as I said, earlier, he was an immigrant. But he also had some pretty bad temper issues. He was in the Army twice. He struggled all his life to make ends meet. And so I learned this a lot, a lot later in my life. And growing up, you know, I was scared of my dad, truth be told, you know, he was a really scary person, he yelled, a lot, screamed a lot. And it was just one of these things that I saw growing up all the time. And those, you know, short story, just a lot of tears every day. And I always remembered growing up seeing that go, and my child or my family will never go through this will never go through this, it will never go. And I had to just repeat that. Because again, you know, it's funny, like, I attribute a lot of this stuff to just wrestling because when I wrestled, it was just that ability to know that if I put my mind into something, whether it be improvement, reading, educating myself, that it was really up to me to see that happen. And yeah, so when I became a father, you know, there's even right now like, there's times where he'll freak out and cry, and the answer the short answer the quick answers, like get angry, frustrated. And so I always tell myself, nope, hug them, hold them laugh with them, she divert his attention run around, and there's days where I'm just exhausted, you know, my body, I'm pretty certain I have arthritis at this point is from, you know, doing 20 years of martial arts and stuff. And but that being said, and when I when I see the little guy smile, it's just reminded, like, this is why I'm doing this, like, I love every second of this. And I try to make sure that despite the fact that I love to see into the future, I always tell myself live in the present live in the moment play with my son. And yet, it was kind of what we said earlier, the easy answer for me is to get frustrated, angry, start yelling, but I'm like, nope, saw my father doing this on my mother doing this. I saw how upset and angry and depressed they were. I was like, No, my son will never go through this as well. And, yeah, it's just a conscious effort every day to make sure that those things don't happen. Do you

Curt Storring

[00:18:17] have any habits or practices like meditation comes to mind to keep you like that, because I I wanted to be like that. I really, really, truly wanted to not yell. And every time I get angry, I just blow up. And it wasn't till I found like meditation and journaling, for example. So were any of those tools helpful for you? Or what comes up?

Yarty Kim

[00:18:35] Yeah, I'm the same way. Actually, I have a daily journal habit, actually. And I actually have a voice recorder. And so when I do that voice recording, after I've done my physical journaling into notion, I'll also do a voice recording and I'll specifically say what's on my mind, like, what is most important to me, you know, why am I doing this? You know, and it's like, Oh, right. I don't want my son to ever go through this. I don't want my wife to ever go through this. I don't want my mother in law, my father in law to go through this. And I'm always reminding myself because one thing that I noticed too, I have a good friend of mine that they're trying to start a business they're struggling a little bit. And I'm always reminding, I was reminding them that you know, this stuff is hard, these answers to get frustrated, pissed off, whatever you want to call it. It's it's too easy to do that. And I was like, one thing that I love about being a parent right now is that I'm on that journey with millions of others that it's so hard it is just so damn hard. And it just reminds me again, back to jiu jitsu and MMA in wrestling like it was just so hard. I saw so many people quit and I'm like, you know, I don't want my son to go through this you know, I want him to I'm gonna be live like I can talk about but if I don't actually, you know, exude those characteristics like he could never learn these lessons. Back to the question. I'm the same as you I meditate every day. I journal every day. And I have this what the app is called. Insight Timer. I think it is and there's this one music I forget what it's called. It's like floating or something and I just listened to this every day. shut my eyes. meditate for just 10 minutes, and just go, everything's alright. Everything's fine. In the my journal again, I don't even have like a journal section that says, it's not even just like it doesn't say negatives. It just says, What could I work on? And because I'm a big believer that we all can always work on something, and I allows me to stay humble as well. So,

Curt Storring

[00:20:18] yeah, I love the positive spin on the improvements. Because even like in one of my mentor groups, the CO captain, and I will have calls afterwards and we say, okay, what are three good things that we liked about that carrying forward? And what is the one improvement? It's not like, what is one thing that suck, and actually, I did the Five Minute Journal for like, a couple years. And I really didn't like the negative that I had to write down, I wanted it to be written something else, and I get that you can face the negative, but I love the improvement, rather than just here's what sucked. It's like Now at least I know, I can work on this, which it sounds like you do. Very intentionally, again, coming back to intentionality is this whole thread through the through the entire conversation, thank you for sharing your struggles. And I know it's not something we talk about every day. So I very much appreciate the vulnerability and openness with going there, man. Absolutely. Speaking of running a business, while your dad, I know we talked about that a little bit. What were some of the challenges you faced? Have you always been into business? Or did you have this business before your son was born? How do you balance those two things and not get so sucked into business? Which just in my own experience is way too easy?

Yarty Kim

[00:21:30] Oh, yeah, this is interesting. So yeah, so my, my quick 10 Second background is that I was in corporate finance strategy for almost 10 years. And so I built up a lot of skills built up a lot of contacts throughout that journey. And I realized after doing it for a long time, I just lost, I just lost joy in doing that, you know, there was just something about it just didn't feel happy anymore. I felt like I had hit a ceiling, you know, just didn't feel like I was enjoying what I was doing. And so I quit that job and short story, my wife and I decided to backpack Southeast Asia and actually live life. And it was super exciting. And when I came back from that trip, we realized that, you know, what would we regret if we didn't do it now and it was literally just doing our own business. And my wife actually went to Babson, and it's a college here in Massachusetts, that's based is all about entrepreneurship. And so I didn't realize at the time, but when I dived into the world of entrepreneurship, I didn't realize how much I loved it and realize I was a creator at heart, the first two years, mainly started as an independent consultant, and then started doing some, you know, more package based agency type work. And so before my son was born, my wife and I had built up the skills, you know, I learned a lot about sales and marketing, operations, and delivery, customer success. And so by the time my son was born, it wasn't like, we were just starting from scratch, which, honestly, we're looking at it now, I would probably never encourage anyone to start a business when they have a child. But you know, I know people have done it, but it's extremely hard. And what also helped us as well was that because we had almost 10 years under our belt, we had a pretty good cushion as well, if anything ever happened, you know, cuz I don't think I don't know if a lot of people talk about that. But having cushion in place when you have kids, because kids are expensive, it's really expensive, really, really did help us there. And also, I'm a budget guy. So I like I see all the numbers that come and go through. So that gives me comfort as well. Yeah, running a business. By the time my son was born. It wasn't like we had everything from scratch. You know, we had systems in place processes in place, what we didn't have, which we kind of, you know, kicked into gear was hiring more people. And so we ended up hiring a manager to start taking off more of the things that my wife and I were doing. And now we're at a place where you know, the systems pretty. Our business is pretty systematized, which has been a relief on our shoulders. So it gives us some more opportunity for to spend more time with our kids or one good.

Curt Storring

[00:23:46] Why are you gonna have any more?

Yarty Kim

[00:23:47] I know, I don't know.

Curt Storring

[00:23:51] Do you have anything that sort of separates business and family and then this could apply to anyone like with a job or you know, anything outside of the home when they come back into family life? Have you navigated that sort of balance?

Yarty Kim

[00:24:05] Oh, yeah. Um, yeah, it's really tricky, because I know like, because it's, it's hard to generalize anything, right? Like, I consider myself a very ambitious person. You know, for me, I have a, you know, not only my business owner, but I'm also a nonprofit board member. So I have that on the side. I also run a newsletter on the side, and then I have, you know, our businesses as well. keeping them separate. You know, we were talking about earlier, it's always about being extremely intentional for me, you know, for me to be intentional. I have a calendar, you know, Google calendar like the rest of us, and I spend it's part of my system actually, every Sunday. I spend an hour looking through that calendar going okay, family time is deliberately from this to this. You know, I shower my son, I do all the showering you know, I take them out the park play with him. I read to him we have nighttime rituals, and these are very intentional. And so I even have systems in place where you know, if someone tries to contact Just via email, we have automations in place where it says, Hey, sorry, we're out of office, we'll come back to you the next day. And these are just extremely intense. I even turn off my email notifications, because I know the moment those emails pop up, my eyes are going to gravitate towards that. So I intend to turn that off, I intentionally turn off slack. During these key moments, lino, once it hits the for us, it's like, 4:30pm once it hits that, you know, it's it's family time. That being said, you know, a little guys sometimes barges in and help be part of my sales calls or my other, you know, team calls. And, you know, I laugh, I enjoy it. I'm like, Hey, okay, you're part of the team now. So

Curt Storring

[00:25:35] yeah, no, that's awesome, man. And I love that. It's just like rituals baked in there. And it's in the calendar. That's so important, because it's only so easy to be like, well sort of hang out with him. But then you go upstairs, you're done work and you're on your phone, maybe or you're just wasting time. And then suddenly, like, I got work done today, maybe I went to the gym, but like, I spent zero time with my family, right? And I'm trying to get into accepting that myself, to be honest, I go like, Okay, what if my kids are screaming outside my office door when I'm trying to record a podcast? And they go, like, look, there's as listening, I don't care. You know, they're gonna get it. I'm not perfect. I'm just sitting here. And you know, sometimes the kids are screaming outside, we'll deal with it. And I hope everyone can deal with it too. And I love that you're not like trying to compartmentalize so much, because one of the other questions that I sometimes ask is like, do you need the balance? Because some people are like, Oh, it has to be 5050, or whatever it is. But sometimes it's like, yeah, there's a season for working super hard. There's a season for going full on and family. Have you thought about that at all? Or is it just like, we just stick to our rituals and habits?

Yarty Kim

[00:26:39] No, I'm just like you. And it's funny, like on my calendar, like, it's like, Saturday and Sundays, like no work whatsoever outside of like, you know, you know, updating my calendar for the week, but it's like, very intentional. And I even have it on my clickup, where once a week, it's plan a family trip, plan a family get to get like, because you know, for a lot of business owners like we are very systematized in the way we do things because that's literally how you run a business. It's a system. And I realized for me, like in order for me to not get overwhelmed with the millions of other things that I have going on, I haven't built into my clickup, where they have recurring tasks, it just has a recurrent test, it says, family book, that things, we have a ski trip that's coming up. And I intentionally put that in there. I also use this, I guess you can call it a tool, but it's called Future me.org. And you send these future letters to yourself or your family. And I found this a couple years ago before my son and you know, you just send letters to yourself, and I love it. And I have this reminder, every chord to send these letters to my family and my son. And I even created an email for my son where when he's of age, we hand over the email and the Hell f 50 letters that are just right there waiting for him. I also have this system, where I create one video every week, where I just share my story about myself. And when my son's age, again, he'll see these videos. And it'll be a way to archive my story because a little off topic. But like for me, you know, when my father my mother passed, I didn't really know much about them. Actually, they never opened up. And so I thought about it when with my son when he came into our lives, I thought about when I don't want him to ever second guess my love for him or what I've had to go through my own life. So I just make I make these 510 minute videos, I also upload them to YouTube as a private channel. So that way, you know when my son is of age, he can see these videos and see who I am as a person. Because even to this day, you know, I think you might be similar to I think about to this day, like what did my dad and mom really think you know, and it's one of those things I think about I'm like, you know, well I hold my son will never ever second guess this. So I just make these videos and it takes no time. It's a system just click up creates these tasks for me. Every Saturday, I just made these videos and just pop them over there

Curt Storring

[00:28:46] do that is one of the greatest ideas I've heard in a long time. How do you like the idea? Well, don't tell us where you could take. How do you come up with? Like, what do you want to say? Is it just like whatever comes to your head? Or do you have like a here's my life chronologically, what does that look like? Yeah, you

Yarty Kim

[00:29:03] know, it's funny. I'm a big checklist type of guy. And so I had like a simple outline, like my story. And I just start writing down these little things like, Okay, how do I stay happy? What is your dad been through? What is your dad's dead? Like, you know, what are the lessons that you can learn that I've messed up on? You know, I started reading this outline, I have it simply in notion as well, because they have this great database thing. And I just started writing these topics. And, you know, sometimes they are ad hoc, you know, but most of them are pretty systematized because there are, for me, at least there is a specific outline that I do want him to kind of follow and understand as a father for me, and part of why I do it too. You know, same reason why I do a daily journalist because, you know, I also look as potentially it'd been a book as well eventually for you know, my family so that way they can look at this chronologically and go, Oh, interesting. This is what's happened. And, you know, it's one of those things I think about a lot like I kind of hope that there was something out there where like, you know, my son Families could see this chronologically. It's almost like a photo book. But it's just just all the writings and videos that I've created over the years. And yeah, it's, for the most part, it's you know, I have topics, but sometimes it can just be ad hoc, just whatever on my mind.

Curt Storring

[00:30:15] I absolutely love this idea and will probably steal this myself. I had a man named Larry Hagner on and he writes, I think monthly letters to his kids and his wife, and he delivers them to them and sort of reads them out. And this I have heard of as well, which is like, you get the email address and you send the emails, but the video isn't like the intentional like life story. Oh, my goodness, I would die to have something like this for my dad. You know, like, yeah, holy man, I this is so powerful. And I'm so glad you brought that up. Is there anything else like this? Like, this is pretty intense, so maybe not, but I'll see you dude, it's kind of cool like this on the same

Yarty Kim

[00:30:53] type of the video. What's funny about that, too, is that when I'm doing them, I always started with. Hi, so my son's name is Kai. So I'll go Hi, guys, but then I stopped and go and future kids. Because I don't know if we'll have another child. So it's weird when I think about that. I'm like, I could potentially have another kid. I might adopt one. This might be for my. So I even do it for you know, my son, my sister. She doesn't have any kids. But I think about Tango. Well, this could be for my nephew one day, like so it's weird when you start doing these videos, because you're like, Hi, son, and future kids and wife and wait a minute. And I love doing this. Yeah, those are kind of like the main things that I do the video the future letters, I'll even do like these images like Canva just like slap on it's really quick like, hey, Tyus, boom, boom, throw it in there. And I do this because, like my hoping goes that they'll chuckle when they see they'll go Dad, you are lame. I love this. Thank you.

Curt Storring

[00:31:53] Oh, yeah, that is such a treasure. Man, I am so excited that you're doing that. I would like to get into systems because I don't know how long it's gonna take that you want to go. But it sounds like Systems Principles values, like very basic fundamentals, but really systematized have allowed you to do all of these things. Which travel have kids have this awesome business, nonprofit board? Like all the things you said you did? And like, where do we start? Where do you think is a good starting off point for all of this? Yeah, I

Yarty Kim

[00:32:25] guess how do I manage it all? Maybe? Yes. So I had to write these notes down because again, like, my, my, my mind likes to just travel off sometimes. But I was thinking about this. So one of the systems that I have in place that is extremely important for me is every Sunday, I plan for the week ahead. And so I look at this ahead, because what it does is what I've realized for myself, and what you shared earlier about intentionality is it's easy to get stressed out. And so I thought about this throughout my career, like why do I get stressed out? I usually get stressed out? Because I don't know. And why don't I know because I don't think and why don't I think because I haven't prioritized it. And so naturally, I was like, well, let's throw it on the calendar. Let's make this intentional. Let me grab a cup of coffee in the morning, I'll wake up before everyone's awake, I open my computer open up calendar, I have it as clickup tasks. And part of my system here that I wrote down here is that I also use toggle, it's a time tracker app. And so whenever I open up a click up task, it's very specific, let's say, you know, update weekly calendar, I click the toggle button, which then runs the clock. The reason I do that it's kind of like the Pomodoro technique where you work for 20 minutes three is that I know when I'm working on a task, and I veer off watch YouTube, that clock is still running. And I see this right away and I see that clock running going, oh my god, I'm wasting time I'm wasting, you know, whatever I'm doing. And so that toggle click up integration allows me to stay super focused, because I also have a, you know, Zapier integration, where I get a weekly report of what I've done on my time, you know, it then tells me like, hey, you've spent all this time doing this, and it's done nothing for you. And so I do this every Sunday, where I look at my calendar for the week, and I'll intention look at like family blocks where I'm like, oh, no, why am I prioritizing over this? I'll even look at meetings that I have I go, okay, is this extremely valuable right now? You know, Is it urgent is important, or can this be held off? So I'll move things around like Lego blocks where I start moving things around, because I know like if I, you know, if I was single or even just married without a child, I could probably get everything done. But being a father I realized, like, yeah, it's just as Jeff Bezos said, you know, I read this book, The Everything Store, he says it really well. There's really going to be two three important tasks you're going to do every single day. So I think about then go to three important things that I'm going to do everything has to be pushed off for now. And I follow the same principles of GTD getting things done by David Allen where if it's urgent, okay, we prioritize it but if it's not, let's put put it down as someday we'll get to it eventually. The other thing that I do to hold myself super accountable and making sure family is a priority is anytime I create a click up task. The first thing I write is goals because it makes me very focused in terms of why am I doing this, if there's no goal behind it, the task is dead. It's just nope, I'm not prioritizing this. And, yeah, the calendar really helps me to go look at and say, family time here, this is what I'm doing. Everything else gets pushed aside on top of that, like you were talking about earlier of daily journaling in place. And I have a section on there where it's family business, other. And so that family blocked, like, I know, I haven't spent any time on the day with my family. If that is empty, literally, if it's empty, I haven't spent any time. So I go back and I'm like, Okay, let's go back. Because I think it's probably safe to say for all business owners, entrepreneurs, creators, it's not like we don't want to spend the time. It's just hate. When you're running a business. It does consume so much your time and I feel guilty like everyone else. But I, I open Like, I literally have my channel up right now as I look at this, and I'm going, okay, the family, it has to be there. And I have to focus and make sure that's a priority every single day. The other thing I just realized, as we were talking, I create a video and I take one picture of my son every single day with our family every single day. And so I use this app called one second every day, I forget where I found it. They basically stitch together one second video clips, and they make a timeline out of it. And so every day I make us I make a video, I just record my son last night he was you know, we're talking about it before we were talking how he looks at the smoke detector, and he calls it the traffic moon, it's you know, I was like, Oh, this is really funny. And so I start recording, and he's just giggling and laughing. And so it goes into my video stitching timeline. And now he's part of that stitching. And it's just, yeah, it's part of my system again, so that I don't lose sight of that. Because I know when I do these things, all that stuff about business and projects and all that stuff, they literally just go away at that point, because I'm just so intentionally focused with him at that moment.

Curt Storring

[00:36:45] Yeah, well, okay, so where how did you start all this? Is this like, I assume this takes a long time to dial in. But is there like, an 8020? For dads out there who are like, I'd love to be half as organized as he already is. But like, I don't know where to start. So I've heard like, click up and toggle and notion and all this kind of stuff. Is there somewhere to go? Also, you're the third person in the past three days dimension GTD. So maybe that's where we need to start. I'm not sure what like, what's the starting point to get any of this laid out?

Yarty Kim

[00:37:14] Yeah, honestly. I think you brought up a good one. You know, for me, personally, it's being super intention. I think the first thing is Liddy whip out a piece of paper and pen or notion or digital tool and write down? What would my ideal day look like? What would my ideal life look like? Because that 10 A day notion, click up toggle GT, they're just systems, right? But I am a true believer, if you don't have a purpose behind why you're doing what you're doing. None of this stuff matters. You know, I talked to people even in business were like, oh, yeah, I think I need automation tools and stuff. And it's like, why though? Why do you need this? Because without the purpose, you'll fall off. Like I mentioned earlier, I've been doing jujitsu for almost seven, eight years, I've gone through five surgeries. And I still come back. And I'm still excited to do this every single day. And the reason why is because of the purpose behind it. You know, I believe I'm a stronger person, a healthier person, I believe it makes me a better parent and a better friend as a result of it. And so my purpose is very strong when I go through this for others. I know I always say start off with a piece of paper and pen really ask yourself, really spend an hour going, what do I really want out of my life? What do I want my life to be like for my kids, my family not to I want to be a great father. And it sounds really weird when I shared this with a couple other new fathers where they say, you know, that's weird. Like, of course, I want to be like, really think about this, because you know, those those first couple months is going to be brutal. And even you know, we're still my son's two and a half and every day I'm just reminded myself, I want to be the best father possible. And like you were saying, Curt, I think about it. Like I didn't my dad in my mom didn't see me graduate from college. And so I think about this everyday, I want my son, I want to be able to see my son graduate, I want to see that smile on his face. And that purpose is just so built in it's so strong in me that like it can't be shaken. So that's one thing I just encourage people like once you get that down, then like the calendar, the journaling, click it all just make sense at that point. And I'm sure you know, it doesn't have to be clicked up. It could be like a piece of paper and pen you know, but yeah, once you kind of find your why everything else just kind of comes into play.

Curt Storring

[00:39:19] Man, that was like, super meta point there is like absolutely fundamental though, to be honest. And that's Yeah, like that is the first step get clear on on your why for any of this. And yeah, then like just structure your goals, your habits, whatever around that. Is that fair to say?

Yarty Kim

[00:39:37] Exactly that Yeah, cuz once you get that, why like doing these other things, putting systems together daily journaling, I think sometimes we force ourselves to say, takes too much time. It takes too much time. I mean, these systems I have placed I mean that we're talking minutes now, what used to be hours as minutes now because I've dialed it in so well. And I'm a big believer of also, you know that desire to want to be better to proof has led to building these systems and being able to spend time with my family and my son and being able to make sure that they're happy. So yeah.

Curt Storring

[00:40:08] What about delegation? How do you think about that? When? Because I think a lot of guys with business are like, Well, I'm not making that much yet. And I can just do it. Or even if you're making a lot, it's like, well, no, I'll just do it because I know how to do it. Right. And even for guys who don't necessarily have businesses, but have a job, like I have suggested to guys I know who have jobs, like hire a VA, get him to do all the boring, cost you like three or four bucks an hour? Like it's so worth

Yarty Kim

[00:40:34] just the same? Right?

Curt Storring

[00:40:37] So how do you think about that? Are there anything else in your life that you've outsourced or automated so that you can spend this intentional time?

Yarty Kim

[00:40:43] Yeah, first, first thing I would say to all those friends is read four hour workweek. Do that once you once you get that Tim Ferriss knowledge, you'll never look back, right? Know where you are, were saying like I've said the same thing to friends on like, you can lead sources to some really competent people for a fraction of what you make. And um, you know, most people, depending on what they're working, and you know, could be making some pretty good salary. That being said, with delegation for me, I had mentioned earlier on my first, you know, almost 10 years, I was in corporate FEMA, so I was a numbers guy, I know how numbers work. And you know, I've always said this, like, if you're making anything above, there radically 50% net profit, you're probably doing all the work like that, that's a rule of thumb, you are doing the work, anything below that you will have effectively have delegated or you're probably spending some crazy money on some fixed expenses. But the general rule is, yeah, if you're, you know, below 50% People look at that as a bad thing going, you know, what, I want to make more profits I want to meet, but the reality is, is what would you prefer having a business where you don't have to work more than five hours a month? Or do you want to be working 60 hours a week, and for most of us entrepreneurs, once you've been in that grind for enough time, we all want to prioritize our freedom, especially with kids. You know, so for me delegating super easy now, because it's like, hey, I want to spend more time with family. Cool, let's delegate and because I'm a forecasting type, you know, because that was my world, I know where the margins are. And so now it's just a natural, hey, let the system run. We'll look at the p&l at the end. Hey, it looks like it's above 30% 40%. I'm good. I'm happy with that. So

Curt Storring

[00:42:17] amazing. Yeah, there. Were there times where you hired before you thought you were ready, either in your personal life or your business. And it like, actually ended up being a great choice.

Yarty Kim

[00:42:25] Yeah, yeah, this happened about two years ago, when my wife and I were like, pulling our hair out, going, Oh, we're doing everything. This is really hard. And it wasn't until I met and connected with a nother owner who had sold to businesses. And I have this thing about comfort challenges where I just reach out to people where they're doing cool things, I just reach out and say, Hey, I love what you're doing, I'd love to, you know, connect, if you're open to it. And this person, you know, we work together. And so I got to get a deep sense of how they operate and and put systems they put together. And it was very clear, just right from the start. Like they had just delegated everything, you know, had active campaign setup Zapier setups, you know, they just had everything set up, and had workflows even had recommended books, you know, that were just a game changer. And so when I saw that I went, Oh, that's so obvious. You know, you hear this mantra a lot, you have to spend money to make money. And it doesn't become so obvious until you're actually doing that. And so, right off the bat, we got some vas, we went on to Upwork, because that's where most people went off of originally. And we hired people off that we actually then start posting jobs on Facebook groups. And on my wife was a part of, I forget the group, it was like an accounting group. And we hired a manager off there, and she's with us to this day, almost two years later, she's been excellent. And we look back at it now. And we, we could not have done this without her. And so for me, I used to be a manager as well, back in my FEMA days. And so one of the things that I always believed because I hate micromanagers myself, I'm a big believer, give them the outcomes, let them shine. And so we do the same thing in our business where we say hey, share feedback, share suggestion, make it your own, go ahead and tackle your only outcome is to make this customer happy. And it's been such a game changer for us. And yeah, we have just team culture systems in place where we give gift cards to our members when every quarter and we've seen that it just helps with retention and yeah, I you know, I kind of wish that we had known this sooner but now that we know it's it's been a game changer and Yeah, honestly, we don't even think about the money once it once it happens once you feel that delegation and that relief. It's such a game changer.

Curt Storring

[00:44:26] Yeah, yeah, it frees up so so much time and I'm going through that with you know, this new business as well as like, okay, now I know where I'm spending all my time that I absolutely hate it. Or it's it's like not producing any value, like the thing gets done. But there's five or 10 hours a week that I'm spending right now, like not producing value, and all I want to do is be talking to guys working with dads and like that's it. So anything beyond that, I'm like, I've got my list right now, but all the things I'm going to hire for the next like month or so. And yeah, it's gonna be freeing because that's what I did my last business and that's yours. Oh, You can hire cleaners, you can hire like personal chef, if you have the means you can do all this kind of stuff to get your time back. And I don't see that as like a cost, I see it as an investment because you are then able to do what is important based on the values that you should now have listen to this podcast so that you can set up your system to spend time with your kids, with your wife, with your partner. Yeah, man, is there anything that we haven't covered yet? Either systems or parenting that you're just like, Ooh, I got something to talk about here.

Yarty Kim

[00:45:29] Oh, that's a good one. Honestly, I think it's just I'm a big believer in component of mental health. I think just given everything that people are going through given social media and everything that's been happening, it's a necessary evil. But I think there's also this day and age where, you know, I didn't share, but uh, you know, earlier, when I was a kid growing up, I also was a victim of bullying. And so for me, you know, that really impacted me for a long time until I started wrestling. And because of wrestling, I built confidence. And so I always think about it in for every entrepreneur or father out there, or maybe you're not an entrepreneur, you're just working full time, at the moment, you're feeling maybe a little down at the moment, I always say, really, really prioritize your mental health if you need that, you know, it's funny, I am a big believer, a lot of people don't take enough sick days at work. Because we have this like, I don't know, we almost feel like obliged to make our employees happy. But I learned a long time ago that you know, the reality is is, especially depending on the company you work for, like there'll be fine, like, but your health, like this is something that just triggers the next, you know, it triggers downwards into your family into your own projects. And I was just talking to a good friend of mine who just started who just left his full time job to work on his own agency and he was talking about how he was feeling demotivated. So in order to feel happy again, he was like, I signed up to jujitsu, and he's like, I'm super happy. And I was excited about that. Because I'm like, yeah, like, being happy. It's really hard to be happy. It's easy to be miserable, actually. And so I always say, you know, prioritize your health as much as possible. You know, I think money tends to be a contentious thing for a lot of people. And so I always encourage people just, you know, look at your budget. Look at like, you were saying earlier, you said it perfectly. Think of his investments laid off. I had someone say to me, like, Okay, I need to save money. So I'm gonna stop buying, like Dunkin Donuts, coffee, or, you know, Starbucks, because then is it more of a US thing. So like Starbucks. And I told him like, so what's your Starbucks number look like when I spend like $200? You I'm like, that's nothing if it makes you happy spend it. And there's a great book with Ramit Sethi about. He talks about this. And I learned this too, a long time ago, because again, being in finance for so long. You know, a lot of times people think, hey, we'll save money by chopping off travel and expenses, when in reality, the base expense driver was humans. So it's like, yeah, cutting your coffee, when that's the only thing that might make you happy. I tell people just keep it in there, you're happy your your gym membership, that's like $20 a month, if it makes you happy, keep it in there. Because, you know, I believe like, you know, these things that make you happy and stay motivated, allows you to be potentially a better parent. Keep it in there, you know, don't don't throw these away.

Curt Storring

[00:47:59] Yeah, and definitely recommend Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich, calm, sound. scammy is not scammy. It's good. Highly recommend check it out. And he says to like, don't cut it out. Because again, it's not that much money, just make more money. And I know that's like, oh, well, I can't Well, have you asked for a raise recently. Have you upgraded your skills recently? Have you started a side hustle recently, like, you know, do that first don't deprive yourself of basic happiness? Because one of the things you said before we started recording, is if we can't be happy, how is our family supposed to be happy? Because we have an outsized impact. And so I maybe, maybe I just want to leave guys with that. Like, if you can't be happy, and this is, this is Yarty, not me. You got to be happy? How can you expect your family to be happy and like, everything flows from you. So it's not selfish to do things as a dad for yourself, it's actually self less, because you serve your family better when you show up with a full cup. Oh, man, this has been so much fun. And I love the energy I love. Like, I've got so many ideas for my own systems now. And, yeah, I can't wait to implement the stories and the letters and the videos. This is extremely exciting. So maybe just give us like a quick overview of what you do professionally, and where people can find more.

Yarty Kim

[00:49:12] Yeah, so I run a couple of different things. And, you know, I'm always trying to make sure I, you know, try to do less than more. That's my mantra now, but uh, I run a company with my wife, we do bookkeeping and taxes called a counter printer, or we call it short for a free account for entrepreneurs. And yeah, we help small businesses in the b2b space with their bookkeeping and taxes, you know, and it's a small group of team where we focus on customer loyalty and we try to deliver the best customer experience, because we believe a lot of AI companies out there, they, unfortunately, they don't focus on that. So for us, we really harp on that. I also run a separate business called growth year, which is personalized marketing solutions. And so for us, you know, just like we're talking about, you know, there's a lot of marketing solutions out there. So for us, we try to build relationships for our customers, because I believe that when you build relationships You know, you're really thinking of it from the point of their perspective when, when and yeah, so that's relatively new. So we're doing that. And then on top of that, I run a side newsletter called kick ass letters. During the whole phase of newsletters, I realized that a lot of it was just a lot of consumption. So I had this crazy idea from a friend where I said, Would it be cool if people just actually took real action to launch their projects. And so I have a newsletter, where we send out, we send out monthly with one just really, really uncomfortable challenge for entrepreneurs to do so like for example, go ahead, find a blog article you like, email that person and try to connect with them. And so we do these things. Because I'm a big believer of like, we're talking about earlier, comfort zone challenges getting out of your comfort zone is really the path of growth, and you start to really, really see who you are. And I believe there's another great book, I read atomic habits, that these habits just really shape who you are. So yeah, those are the three big things that I'm working on. I'm outside of that I do jujitsu I sometimes coach on that and just trying to be the best father, wife and husband, not a wife, husband. Be the best husband best father and best brother. So um, so yeah, that's that's everything going on.

Curt Storring

[00:51:10] Amazing. Yeah, well, I highly recommend you guys check that out. I love the idea for the newsletter and get challenged, get uncomfortable and do hard things because it's at our edge where we actually grow so you already Kim This has been so much fun. Thank you again for taking the time man.

Yarty Kim

[00:51:23] Thanks so much, man. I appreciate it

Curt Storring

[00:51:31] that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. It means the world to find out more about everything that we talked about in the episode today, including Show Notes resources and links to subscribe leave a review work with us go to dad.work/pod. That's DAD.WORK/POD. type that into your browser just like a normal URL, dad.work/pod. You'll find everything there. You need to become a better man, a better partner and a better father. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai