Curt Storring 0:00

Welcome to the Dad Work Podcast. My name is Curt Storring, your host and the founder of Dad Work. This is episode number 83. How much your kids love you, guys, I'm just gonna get into this today. This is a short episode, or perhaps one of the most profound realizations I've ever had in my life. And it still makes me emotional reflecting on it today. And each time I do so. So it's a short episode, like I said, but I hope it's impactful. I encourage you to think on this more, and even journal on it. Here we go.

Okay, guys, I'm gonna read you a little bit of something that I wrote, and I talked a little bit about it, and I'm gonna go back into something else I wrote. And we'll just get into it. Do you understand? Dad? How much your kids love you? We often think about how much we love our children. But how often do you think about how much they love you back? The connection our kids have with us means just about everything to them. This is a great responsibility. But it's also an amazing gift. No matter how much you screw it up. All your kids want is your love and approval. This also means that it's never too late. I hear father shares, which is a process we do in men's group, where grown man still longed to be seen and loved by their dads. It is the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. But we rarely, if ever, let our kids love into our lives. Have you ever opened your heart and truly felt the unconditional love that your children have for you? It's overwhelming. This holds true even when you think you screwed up or let them down. Maybe you did. But that just makes it more important not to withdraw. You mean everything to them? Now guys, I'm gonna go and just talk a little bit about your own father for a moment. Just let me go there for a moment, guys. The importance of a father is monumental. Okay, men's work is filled with ideas about the importance of fathers. Studies always show the impact a father has on his children. And in fact, it's evident even and perhaps, especially if you just look in your life, like think about your own dad, right? Think about how important your relationship to him is positive or negative. And get really honest here, guys, if he was absent, or not a good father, you're almost certainly deeply wounded, or he failed to live up to the high standards of fatherhood. I see this all the time. It's possible to get through, it's possible to heal. But it's very painful. And your father would have inflicted this wound on you because of how important he was to you as a child. And now as a man, if he was a great father, you probably deeply cherish your relationship with him. Now guys, apply that to your own kids, your children will one day feel one of these two things, and they are feeling it right now already in the moment you are the man they will always either look up to or grieve the lack of relationship with. It's so powerful and we can't miss out on it. And go back now and read a little portion of something I wrote about this, and it's just going to help to round round this out. It's gonna bring these two ideas together a little bit. Have you ever truly felt into just how much your children love and need you? As parents, we often think about how much we love our children. It's a pattern of energy that extends from us to them. But there is just as much love coming back to us. Let this sink in. You are almost everything to your children. They love you deeply. Even if you screw up all they want is your love attention and validation. In fact, they need even more when we screw up. Many men I talk to you, myself included, have a tendency to withdraw or beat themselves up when they make a mistake. They think that if they pull away, they won't hurt their children any more than they already have. But guys, this is the opposite of what our kids need. They need us to apologize and repair the rupture. They need us to keep showing up. Open your heart to their love and see what it feels like to accept unconditional love. For many of us, it's the first time we'll have truly accepted this type of love and adoration. And it can burst your heart wide open in a good way. I'm also telling you that it's never too late. The amount of adult men I talked to who still longed for the love and acceptance of their fathers is staggering. It may take doing more inner work to access your love and emotions. It may take dealing with your own wounds and traumas before you can truly accept this as the single greatest connector you have with your child. But man, is it ever worth it. Get out of your own head. Step back from your own patterns and self absorption. Understand how important you are. You are loved. And I'm going to leave it there today guys. This is a short episode. I encourage you to journal on this. Even reading this and going back to this thought process that I've been working on for the last few months is bringing a bit of a tear to my eye. I feel the immensity of this It's beautiful. And I hope it jogs something in you. So encourage you to journal on this to think a little bit more and to just accept your children's love into your lives. We'll see you back here next week for another episode of the Dad Work Podcast

that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. It means the world to find out more about everything that we talked about in the episode today, including Show Notes resources and links to subscribe leave a review work with us go to dad.work/pod that's DAD.WORK/POD type that into your browser just like a normal URL Dad.Work/Pod to find everything there you need to become a better man, a better partner and a better father. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time.

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